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Originally Posted by SoberKnitter
(Post 3880525)
What stupid thing did your AV say today? "Dude, you should call the dope man; he's probably worried sick about you." |
Originally Posted by freshstart57
(Post 3883129)
Received, I can't know the inside of your noggin, but I think that it is your AV that's anxious about not getting its bottle. Here is what I do - instead of trying to ignore it or wrestle with it or argue with it, I turn the tables on it. I bring the light of my focus up high and stare at it - this is the recognition aspect of AVRT. It isn't me that is anxious, it is the whining miserable beast / parasite. It helps me to understand that it is doing what it needs to, and I am doing what I need to. The clincher is that I get to pick, I get to choose, and I have decided. I don't drink and I won't change my mind. Booyah. It is a good idea too to be gentle with yourself. Understand that you are doing a difficult thing and you need to support your fine self here. So eat well, rest, get some exercise, some fresh air and sunshine. Start feeding your psyche by doing things that require and build mastery. The days of failure and regret are over. You are badass, and by quitting the booze you have demonstrated that you have loads of abilities, and you now get to put them to use. To your use. Time to start to BE that wholly unique and incredible person that is you. Bravo. This makes so much sense to me. I so totally get what you are saying. Mini AHA! and mind shift going on. Thanks so much. |
Originally Posted by freshstart57
(Post 3882744)
SoberKnitter, you have grasped the beauty and simplicity of the essence of AVRT beautifully. - 'Knowing it is not me is so powerful'. That is the nut of it right there. You are also hitting the bullseye in that you are taking control here, and asserting your ability to make these important decisions. Once you have arrived at this place, I think it is perfectly reasonable to react to the AV with amusement, and with scorn and derision. - 'Is that the best you've got? Is that all you can do?' I like to figuratively laugh and point, and some of the humor is rueful, considering the lies I listened to and the excuses I accepted for years. Just to listen to my AV. Sheesh! The AV will never completely disappear, but that is OK because we no longer need to pay attention to it, or to even acknowledge it beyond the simple recognition of it and its nature. That's it. AV is only anxiety producing when it can influence our actions, and once that influence is no longer accepted, the anxiety of not drinking disappears. As for the concept of never, that is where the rubber meets the road, and also where the final acceptance and ultimate relief is provided. Never drinking also means never feeling the shame, the guilt, lies and deception, the depression and anxiety, and all the rest of the cr@p that goes with active addiction. Never drink again? Absolutely. I am done. Learning to recognize AV in others is an important tool and helps with the recognition of AV in ourselves - the same muscles are involved. It is easy to find AV in the posts at SR, even in this forum. Even in this thread, there are three or four examples of uneasiness or self doubt that we try to recognize as AV. To recap, AV is any thought or idea of drinking again, or doubt in one's ability to do so. That unease you hear when you say never, or that belief that there is some condition on your continued sobriety, is, you guessed it, AV! :thanks |
I have come back to this thread several times today, and it occurred to me, I had nothing to add - because my AV was not talking to me all day today...until... Mrs Non and I went out to dinner. She ordered a glass of wine, and the waitress brought it in a mini-carafe, poured half of it in the glass, and set the mini-carafe down on the table. AV said, "you could chug what's left in that mini carafe." He even sent me a mental image of me doing it. He really is a classless dumbass. |
Originally Posted by legna
(Post 3883184)
It's been a while but I still remember: "Dude, you should call the dope man; he's probably worried sick about you." I feel "bad" if i did not support his local business...not being a good citizen. It is helpful to read all this and really see how dumb my thoughts are. |
I had knitting with the girls tonight, and the wine was everywhere. My AV was just losing it. Just on glass of wine won't hurt anything. You're being rude. Everyone else is drinking. That Coke you're drinking has a ton of sugar in it. You're going to start drinking again sometime, might as well do it tonight. You won't get drunk, and you live really close by. Just have one glass and sip it. Drinking wine is part of hanging with the girls. This would be so much more fun with a buzz... And on and on and on. I managed to have a good time anyway. It was amusing to notice how crazy the beast gets at the sight of alcohol. |
Thanks for this eye opening thread |
Thanks also for making me think that i can take up knitting again....i used to do it quite well when i was a kid (my aunt taught me), i took it up again when i stopped smoking, and i think i would like to use the concentration and occupy my hands too....it might help me relax. AV...is yammering that nice ladies knit and drink wine...it is civilized. Creative cooks drink wine...remember the Galloping Gourmet...Justin Wilson? Yes they are both dead. |
What a great thread... Early days for me to laugh at the AV, but as I was walking to work I had a recollection of the last time I gave up and tried the AA route about 5 years ago. Obviously I couldn't identify it as the AV at the time, but it was there, loud and clear..
I do all the cooking at home it's a big pastime of mine but generally involved drinking too... Anyway, I know these are all pretty I common reactions but looking back the food ones in particular are so laughable. At least now I'm looking back and I realize - it actually stopped being about enjoying a drink a very long time ago. Can't enjoy something that you basically slug back seeking some sort of sensation. Anyway, I may not be laughing, but I am smiling a bit... Nothing coherent from it yet this time around, lots of white noise though. |
Originally Posted by Fandy
(Post 3885662)
Thanks also for making me think that i can take up knitting again....i used to do it quite well when i was a kid (my aunt taught me), i took it up again when i stopped smoking, and i think i would like to use the concentration and occupy my hands too....it might help me relax. AV...is yammering that nice ladies knit and drink wine...it is civilized. Creative cooks drink wine...remember the Galloping Gourmet...Justin Wilson? Yes they are both dead.
Originally Posted by RaggedyMan
(Post 3885839)
What a great thread... Early days for me to laugh at the AV... My mother is coming to visit today. She drinks a ton of wine every night. My AV is having a field day with it. You can't just sit there and watch her drink. You're going to make her feel bad. No way can you resist when wine is right in front of you for days on end. It would probably be better to just wait to quit until after she leaves... |
Originally Posted by SoberKnitter
(Post 3886203)
Just my opinion, but I think it's never too early to laugh at the AV. My mother is coming to visit today. She drinks a ton of wine every night. My AV is having a field day with it. "You can't just sit there and watch her drink. You're going to make her feel bad. No way can you resist when wine is right in front of you for days on end. It would probably be better to just wait to quit until after she leaves..." Nice how you obviously recognise AV, yet still become indifferent to IT's stupidity and nonsense. :) Way cool. |
We were just told it's a half day at work today, and my AV immediately jumped up. "Stop at the store and get bourbon and beer for this afternoon!" He didn't even try to give me a reason. I guess he thought a half day off was reason enough! |
Last night, my mother was drinking wine (lots of it) in front of me. My AV babbled on and on... Just have one glass. If you eat enough pizza, you'll be too full to drink too much. You can't stand this all weekend, just quit on Monday. What kind of person makes her own mother drink alone? Normal people have a glass of wine with pizza, you are acting weird.... What's odd is that my mother never made a comment about my not drinking. The only thing she said was, "We don't have enough wine!" (only two bottles). I said I didn't want any and that was that. |
I think I need to visit this thread more often! About an hour ago this morning, I cut off the past week's drinking bender at the knees, by pouring the remaining white wine down the drain. So: even before I GOT to the sink - while merely grasping the bottle in the fridge, my AV started in:' OH, do you reallllly think this is wise? What about later in the day when you start to feel nauseous, antsy, headachey? You'll need it then, and you'll have to spend more money by getting some more.....what a waste!!' Talk about up close n personal - It was literally right in there, as I physically lifted my arm to take the bottle, out of the fridge, uncapped it, held it aloft and started pouring! (Fortunately, I kept right on pouring and splashing water round the sink to get rid of the smelly aftermath - which when you stand back from it, smells just like fuel - ethanol! Blech!) |
thanks soberknitter this post really helped me |
Today I had to pour out wine that my mother left at the house. The beast flipped out. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? That wine was expensive! Just smell that - doesn't it smell good? Just try a little! It's your favorite kind! You haven't drank in two weeks, what are you trying to prove? When you start drinking again, you're going to be pissed that you did this! What was interesting is that as soon as I rinsed out the sink, it shut up. It was actually very quiet the rest of the day. Watching my mother get drunk, stumble around and act like a major league bitch to everyone last night made me very happy that I am never drinking again. |
Wife just called and said she would be working late. Daughter is also working. Just me and my AV hanging out with my dogs for the evening. He thinks we should get drunk like we always used to do. I think he's a dipsh!t. |
Awesome thread!!! My AV goes on and on and on...automatically in all those situations you guys are mentioning. It really is a matter of saying ..Really?? This is not Sophie thinking at all anymore it is that voice just whispering, well maybe yelling in my head. And the guy at the liquor store by me probably misses my daily stops and the revenue. Or thinks I'm dead hee. |
Okay, this one from this morning cracked me up: I haven't had a drop in over two weeks, I'm sure my liver is healed now and a drink wouldn't hurt me if I decide to have one. LOL. Yes, I'm so sure my liver is just fine after 17 days. I'm kind of disappointed that the agent provocateur in my head isn't more clever. Surely it can do better than this? ;) |
Tammy, There is no way in the world that your life is better without wine. Since you had your last drink, your teenager now lives with roommates in another city - you never see her anymore. Mulligan and Tally Ho are dead. You don't have a job (you resigned from a perfectly good job!). Your marriage is worse now than it ever was when you were drinking. I don't even recognize your life - who the heck are you? Just go get a bottle - have a couple glasses. Or better yet, just have a few glasses tomorrow afternoon. You can act like you never had anything to drink by the time 5:00 o'clock rolls around. It will be nice - just one, relaxing afternoon, just you and your old best friend, chardonnay. Turn off all the noise. Turn it off. Love, AV |
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