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My pet ego

Old 02-21-2013, 05:11 AM
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My pet ego

I think why AVRT works is because, for me, it's common to recognize my ego on many levels and deal with how much I feed it. And on what diet it thrives.

I have the need for attention like anyone else. I try to be recognized for things or be told I am doing well. My ego needs that. I have learned that the voice that asks for that cannot ask for that all the time. That would be to much.

I cannot expect to be the only one in the room of many to be told good job. I have to shut my ego down and say ... Let others have their time.

Same goes with many of my egos needs. I allow myself to indulge and feed those needs within reason. If I don't life gets out of whack or people really don't want to be around the "egotist"

So I remain humble in just about everything I do.

With my drinking and drugs my ego dominated. I allowed it to consume the conversation.... If there was a conversation at all.

While I knew in other areas of my life I controlled that voice... Ego... I somehow let it loose with drinking. With that I did not require someone else to provide the attention or love or what ever my ego needed. It was me against me.

On the me to me level I was untethered by opinion. Who cares if my drunk AV was an egotist? It felt good to feed. With out provocation. Without thought.

But AVRT helped me see the ego...AV.. In me. See that I treated my drunk ego different from my love ego or my need for attention ego.

I essentially had a pet ego. Daddy's little boy. Who grew. To become a monster!

Getting a monster back into a cage is not easy. But doable. It's in the trickery.

"Here AV! Here boy.... Come to daddy?"

It's not that simplistic yet it is.

I don't drink. Me... Ken does not drink.

You know who does.

I hold the key to the cage. Well I used to. Think I lost it somewhere back there.

Oh well.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Weasel1966 View Post
I hold the key to the cage. Well I used to. Think I lost it somewhere back there.
Check your other pocket. You still hold that key. You're the only one who ever can.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:44 AM
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Hi, Ken.

That's a cool post. Very thoughtful, as always.

For me, one of the keys to AVRT is its focus. It doesn't need to be viewed as part of some larger personality or psychological framework. I think the book makes clear the importance of keeping that focus tight. I do apply the techniques to other aspects of my life (I sometimes think of my propensity to procrastinate as "Lazy Voice"), but I realize that's a distortion of AVRT. AVRT—and AV—is tied solely to addiction. I wouldn't want newcomers to think they need to get tangled up in Freudian constructs like ego and id. In fact there's an argument to be made that overcomplicating this stuff serves AV's goals. Once a big plan is made, there's not much to ponder. At least about drinking. And with addiction out of the way, it's a lot easier to start analyzing all those other shadowy corners of the mind.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:44 AM
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Hey nonsensical. I mean I locked it up and threw away the key. I know I hold it and always will. I just don't want to approach the cage anymore.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:49 AM
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stuff it in a box with no holes and get on with really living ..

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Old 02-21-2013, 06:49 AM
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Point taken RAA... I agree with you that for the AVRT purist that a tight point of view is the best point of view since addiction and overcoming it requires a certain intensity.

I often indulge in the broader sense of my life. Since addiction bleeds into it so much, for me, I need to blend things.

Good to see you! Been a while. Hope all is well.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:06 AM
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I have a different viewpoint of addictions now at 31 years clean then I did at a few months clean. So much of what we share is time-sensitive to so many more connecting points in our past, present, and future lives. Like countless stars in the heavens, like synapses in our brains, its all relative to the moment. Here. Now.

Sometimes I think most shares of others need to be taken more for their holistic worth and less for their immediate worth in a thread...

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Old 02-21-2013, 07:14 AM
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I agree, Robby. I have a lot of ways of looking at recovery beyond the AVRT lens; but that stuff isn't AVRT; R&A-VRT.

I love your broader view of life, Ken. I think you and I have a lot of the same instincts; I'm constantly probing my addiction to better understand myself. I was making those distinctions more for the sake of newcomers who might pop in for info on AVRT, whether it's now or many years from now.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:19 AM
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Awesome.

Since this thread is posted in simply the secular forum, and not within the AVRT discussion thread, I feel more relaxed about what is what, and I don't sweat the details much.

Its a beautiful day here in Ottawa.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:26 AM
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You'll have to send me a copy of your SR rulebook sometime, Robby.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:33 AM
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My last comment is a good example of ego at work, by the way, lol... Now you see why I didn't want my recovery tied to solving other issues.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:44 AM
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I rarely play within the rules, hahaaha.

Seriously though, I'm no one to judge others, and when I share I hope that within my shares is enough openness to clearly show I'm just another guy on a keyboard.

Yeah, I have experiences, so do we all. Growing up as kid, and having to fight against other kids attitudes towards cripples kinda of set the game for me, and there's no turning back now, lol.

I play out-of-the-box. My rule book is there are very few rules, and what rules there are, they are all breakable at some point.

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Old 02-21-2013, 07:45 AM
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I also meant to say I don't tie my core recovery into other issues either. Do I come across like I do?
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:06 AM
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I think it's a good point R&A and I think it was accepted by Weas in the spirit it was intended. Yes, it is a post in the secular forum, but it does mention AVRT, so the fact that AVRT as written is solely focused on ending substance addiction, swiftly and permanently, is indeed an important distinction for the newcomer. Not so much for Weas because he gets it already.

I address many of my problems in life in an "AVRTish" manner for sure, I always have. It's kind of just the way I think. My natural AVRTishness has served me well. I also have a tendency to a little kumbayish too though...weird. I'm a dichotomous being, as I think many of us here are.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:07 AM
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
I play out-of-the-box. My rule book is there are very few rules, and what rules there are, they are all breakable at some point
. Crazy rebel. I like it. I like it alot.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:18 AM
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It's interesting for me to learn from those with longer term abstinence to see that addiction, while important, has taken it place side by side other issues.

For the newcomer... And I am still very new.... It stands tall in the line up.

I always learn when I put myself out there.

Thanks.
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Old 02-21-2013, 02:30 PM
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I love that insight, Ken. I hadn't thought of it in those terms, but that totally jibes with my experience. Well said.

You stand pretty darn tall yourself.
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Old 02-21-2013, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
I also meant to say I don't tie my core recovery into other issues either. Do I come across like I do?
Um, maybe a little when you start waxing poetic about "countless stars in the heavens..."

Kidding! You already know I think you're aces, Robby.



Keep on rocking!
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by weasel1966
I always learn when I put myself out there.
and you also teach others by doing that. Just because you quit more recently than someone else does not mean you "know less". Teaching and learning are two sides of the same coin. It takes courage to put yourself out there, and you do it with grace.
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Old 02-23-2013, 02:47 AM
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I have the need for attention like anyone else. I try to be recognized for things or be told I am doing well. My ego needs that.
What if ego is a small part of our larger experience ? seems to me i can live looking at and responding to the world looking through my ego window but it's possible there might be other windows to look through for contrast and comparison .

How we percieve the world changes how we think about the world, which changes our feelings and actions .
Annyhoo i'd better stop now before my ego dissapears up a black hole of my own making

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