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Need as much help and support!

Old 02-07-2013, 06:11 PM
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Need as much help and support!

Hello, everyone. If you could recall from my first post, that I recently made one week clean. My form of recovery is the AVRT technique. I have been reading the Rational Recovery Book and am starting to get an understanding of my Beast. Well today was my first day back to work after enjoying my four lovely days of clean and enjoying life after 4 years spinning out of control with my addiction. When I was home, I was safe and felt little to no urges. But by the afternoon today at work, my Beast was talking to me loud and clear! You see my "get high" times has been usually after a days work. I would run to the dealer to get my fix, go crazy almost all night,then wake up with guilt. What I see now is my Beast knows of this pattern and was talking to me strong tonight. So strongly, i even felt the physical parts of the urge (churning stomach, gas).the great news is I didn't get high,basically because I don't have any money to call the dealer. My fear is next Thursday, when my payday check has already been deposited in my account. Anyone has any suggestions. Trying to prepare myself early before next week. I know my Beast will be talking to me loud and clear. Any suggestions thanks.
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Old 02-07-2013, 06:42 PM
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Great job, Faith. It was a huge step for me to realize it's just a feeling, an urge, I don't have to act on it. There's no reason to be afraid; you'll probably feel the urges many times in the weeks to come, but if you keep your head and remember who you are and why you're doing this, you'll be fine.

One thing I'd note is that viewed through the AVRT lens, all those fears and doubts you're voicing are considered AV. Your addiction wants you to doubt your ability to resist. Don't doubt it for a second. It can't spend your money, only you can do that. You're calling the shots. Challenge it right now to make you raise your little finger. Can it do it? Nope. You've already proved today that you can overcome AV by recognizing it. Every time you do, you grow stronger, and it grows weaker.

My advice? Keep up the good work.
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Old 02-07-2013, 07:19 PM
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Wow, readyandable. Never seen it that way! Though The Beast is stupid, he is very cunning. Seeing how he is even causing me to doubt is pretty deep and another level I need to take a look at. Hey maybe this RR thing really does work!
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:13 PM
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Good on you Faith!

One tiny thing I noticed: you called the Beast 'he' - I'm learning, and I'm sure others will agree, that AVRT works on objectifying it as IT. A thing, rather than as some other sort of self. I know that LifeRing - another secular set of tools - calls the two the Addictive Self and the Sober Self (I think, have to look it up). But I suspect that viewing it as IT may be more helpful?

More experienced AVRT SR peeps can teach you a great deal on this forum, much more than me.

Keep on at it!
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:33 PM
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Hi Faith, good on you!

Don't sweat any present fears. The fears create doubt, and doubt creates more AV. Look past your fears, keep your eyes on your personal goals. Hear and recognise your AV, that's sufficient, and meanwhile continue on with being the best sober YOU YOU can be!!

Its working for YOU!

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Old 02-08-2013, 03:55 AM
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Thanks readyandable,be myself,and robbyrobot. For all and everyone using AVRT, keep posting me some great info on this method of recovery. When I bought the RR book from Amazon last month, I thought I just may thought I stumbled upon an old outdated book that may only give me a fleeting promise to stay clean. But now, after reading all of these posts, I see that this AVRT thing is pretty awesome and really may work for me. Before my relapse in 2009, I had almost 5 years clean using "support meetings". Will just leave it as just being disheartened by some of the ways in those " support meetings" to go back. I am so glad that there really are alternative ways to get clean and sober. I was almost taught there wasn't.
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Old 02-08-2013, 04:42 AM
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Hi Faith,

I, too, have had to let go of the idea that I need support groups, other methods, etc etc to stay sober. I have been reading RR and using its ideas for nearly a week. It's a short time compared to others on here. However, for me it is working really well.

The notion I actually have power over this is, and I know it must sound daft, kind of revelatory. I had spent years thinking what's wrong with me, why can I not do this, better do XYZ.

The first time I sought I help on this I used other, more well-known methods. It was only from Googling I camne across this site. It was like a light bulb went off in my head.

I can recognise this urge as what it is - a selfish little beast who wants only its pleasure. It's not always easy and I have short period of time. I also have people who have told me I am white-knuckling, that I need to do XYZ.

I think I don't need to do anything I don't want to... I have made my decisions and I am going to stick to them.

All the best, SV x
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Faith1000 View Post
I see that this AVRT thing is pretty awesome and really may work for me.
AVRT has been indeed awesome for me!

Another comment on language/thinking: AVRT does not work. You work. You are doing all of this. AVRT simply opens one's eyes to our innate abilities. It's all about recognition and awareness—of AV itself, and just as important, of our own power to resist and neutralize AV... just as people have done for thousands of years, without any books about AVRT or other formalized approaches.
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Old 02-08-2013, 03:37 PM
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I know that LifeRing - another secular set of tools - calls the two the Addictive Self and the Sober Self (I think, have to look it up).
bemyself, yes, though it's the 'addicted self', not addictive. the division addresses the internal "warring". both the LifeRing A and S and the AV were useful to me at the beginning, though eventually i came to a different view.
Faith: in terms of the Beast, it's not only stupid and cunning, but one ting you can count on: it's got a one-track mind!
no matter what disguises it comes at you with, or how it sounds, know it only has ONE GOAL! really, it's a very boring beast!
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Old 02-08-2013, 11:26 PM
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H Faith, I'm not using any method to quit (alcohol) but from experience I know that the after work urges are really strong. I found the trick was to have an activity between work and home, so I walked part of my usual commute, listening to my ipod, and also bought freshly made juice. Anything to break up the usual routine which used to include stopping at the bottle shop.
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:06 AM
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Thanks, FeelingGreat. That's a pretty good idea. I will spend the next few days figuring out a healthy routine while getting home before payday next Thursday.
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Old 03-15-2013, 05:57 AM
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Savvoy, that is exactly why I continue to make the place look untidy by still hanging around, to see what I can offer so that maybe a few don't have to suffer as I did.

For me, the main message within AVRT is that anyone can quit drinking, and it is completely within our ability to do so.

Welcome to the team Savvoy, glad you found us. I know that you will make that difference you mentioned, and I am looking forward to your posts.
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Old 03-15-2013, 06:20 AM
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, Faith1000, SR is a good place to be for help and support.
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