And the Big Plan is made...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Hi all,
Still sober. It's been 14 months since I drank that night. Other than that night I have been sober for close to two years. Thank God for my Big Plan. If I didn't have it there are times I would have given in for sure but "I will not change my mind" has been a lifesaver.
It has been a wild ride since I got here. I am still a server and have not heard back about the exemption. My child ...being 16 and all.... Is in her own special kind of hell that I can't help her navigate her way out of. It breaks my heart.
I have gotten the opportunity to spend lots of real quality time with my mom which has been nice and my brother remains active in his own addiction.
However, my real point in being here is not just to update about all my issues although it feels good to write all that out
it is to say it is possible to stay sober no matter what. I work in a bar, I have gone through more stress and sadness then I thought possible, my hopes and dreams are on hold and may be unobtainable but I am sober.
I do have thoughts of "we'll go ahead what do you have to lose? Take a drink... Go ahead". And then I remember the hell it takes me to. The dark place where there is no escape because it is my head... A place I can only leave for brief periods but must return to in the morning and NOTHING is worth losing my sanity over.
Instead I work out, I eat right, I try and keep it all in perspective, I laugh and sometimes I cry but I don't drink. No matter what... I don't drink. It has become my mantra.
So anyway I will check in later. I have tons to do and I start a new schedule tomorrow so I need to get on it. With all my heart I hope you are all doing well and can't wait to hear what's been going on with all of you that helped me to get here
Hugs,
Jess
Still sober. It's been 14 months since I drank that night. Other than that night I have been sober for close to two years. Thank God for my Big Plan. If I didn't have it there are times I would have given in for sure but "I will not change my mind" has been a lifesaver.
It has been a wild ride since I got here. I am still a server and have not heard back about the exemption. My child ...being 16 and all.... Is in her own special kind of hell that I can't help her navigate her way out of. It breaks my heart.
I have gotten the opportunity to spend lots of real quality time with my mom which has been nice and my brother remains active in his own addiction.
However, my real point in being here is not just to update about all my issues although it feels good to write all that out
it is to say it is possible to stay sober no matter what. I work in a bar, I have gone through more stress and sadness then I thought possible, my hopes and dreams are on hold and may be unobtainable but I am sober.I do have thoughts of "we'll go ahead what do you have to lose? Take a drink... Go ahead". And then I remember the hell it takes me to. The dark place where there is no escape because it is my head... A place I can only leave for brief periods but must return to in the morning and NOTHING is worth losing my sanity over.
Instead I work out, I eat right, I try and keep it all in perspective, I laugh and sometimes I cry but I don't drink. No matter what... I don't drink. It has become my mantra.
So anyway I will check in later. I have tons to do and I start a new schedule tomorrow so I need to get on it. With all my heart I hope you are all doing well and can't wait to hear what's been going on with all of you that helped me to get here
Hugs,
Jess
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by jkb 
However, my real point in being here is to say it is possible to stay sober no matter what. I work in a bar, I have gone through more stress and sadness then I thought possible, my hopes and dreams are on hold and may be unobtainable but I am sober.
I do have thoughts of "we'll go ahead what do you have to lose? Take a drink... Go ahead". And then I remember the hell it takes me to. The dark place where there is no escape because it is my head... A place I can only leave for brief periods but must return to in the morning and NOTHING is worth losing my sanity over.
Instead I work out, I eat right, I try and keep it all in perspective, I laugh and sometimes I cry but I don't drink. No matter what... I don't drink.
I do have thoughts of "we'll go ahead what do you have to lose? Take a drink... Go ahead". And then I remember the hell it takes me to. The dark place where there is no escape because it is my head... A place I can only leave for brief periods but must return to in the morning and NOTHING is worth losing my sanity over.
Instead I work out, I eat right, I try and keep it all in perspective, I laugh and sometimes I cry but I don't drink. No matter what... I don't drink.
Thanks very much for writing this today. Your words will touch many, I'm sure. Onward!
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Hi JKB,
It's great to hear from you - in a non-needy fashion. I think your thread here is an important prototype of a new "post-rarely-thread" that is commensurate with Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. Those of us who have used AVRT and have ended our recovery as well as our addiction, but want to encourage its visibility for other people can choose to do as you are doing now. Thank you very much.
As for me, I'm loving my sugar Big Plan that I made here on SR several years ago every day. What I now eat and enjoy is so worth not eating sweets that I can't put it in words. People just have to do it to find out. And like you, I exercise.
Hi cardio aerobic classes three or four times a week for me. One of those classes is Sunday morning and I occasionally think of it as my religion. Building up to a physical limit over one hour with great music and instruction is so fantastic I really can't figure out why everyone doesn't do it except maybe they simply don't know how good it is. Hint: I would recommend spending a few months getting good at top level step aerobics. Yep, that's what does it for me and my ticker.
It's great to hear from you - in a non-needy fashion. I think your thread here is an important prototype of a new "post-rarely-thread" that is commensurate with Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. Those of us who have used AVRT and have ended our recovery as well as our addiction, but want to encourage its visibility for other people can choose to do as you are doing now. Thank you very much.
As for me, I'm loving my sugar Big Plan that I made here on SR several years ago every day. What I now eat and enjoy is so worth not eating sweets that I can't put it in words. People just have to do it to find out. And like you, I exercise.
Hi cardio aerobic classes three or four times a week for me. One of those classes is Sunday morning and I occasionally think of it as my religion. Building up to a physical limit over one hour with great music and instruction is so fantastic I really can't figure out why everyone doesn't do it except maybe they simply don't know how good it is. Hint: I would recommend spending a few months getting good at top level step aerobics. Yep, that's what does it for me and my ticker.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
So true GT. And thank you. Exercise has been a life changer for me as well. It's now been about 16 months and drinking has become a fleeting thought. I do however like to come on and say hi....
Jess
Jess
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 170
I had never seen this thread before.
When it popped up, I thought it was new.
I read the first few posts and was about to close out, thinking this is the flightiest, neediest, befuddled alcoholic person I had ever read, someone so accustomed to the role of the confused drunkard that it was All Beast, All the Time.
I then saw the time stamp on the first posts and went immediately to the last page.
The wisdom, maturity and self-assurance you now show is palpable.
You did it yourself. Self-help. No support. No day by day drama. One simple act, forever.
When it popped up, I thought it was new.
I read the first few posts and was about to close out, thinking this is the flightiest, neediest, befuddled alcoholic person I had ever read, someone so accustomed to the role of the confused drunkard that it was All Beast, All the Time.
I then saw the time stamp on the first posts and went immediately to the last page.
The wisdom, maturity and self-assurance you now show is palpable.
You did it yourself. Self-help. No support. No day by day drama. One simple act, forever.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Greenwood-
Wow thank you so much. I have no clue if you are still on here because I see that post is from March but I really hope that you are. I don't come on here very often but, I do (once in a while) like to get some support. And your post from March was just what I needed... Karma dare I say!!!!
Not that I would've drank anyway. In fact I got that clearance. Yep, I got it. ���� I couldn't believe it. So, I've had multiple job offers and finally decided on one. Right now I am in the process of getting through the hiring process which is nerve racking at best and since I waited it out for the better job I have been out of work completely for over two weeks.
You see I quit my waitressing job thinking that the job started on the 18 th and then my paperwork didn't get through for this job until the 20 th so they said I could start on the 1st once my drug screen and background check are cleared. So, as of tomorrow things will be awesome or terrible because that is when I will find out for sure. Hopefully I start work on Monday and if not I am not sure what the future holds.
My daughter is having her own battle with drugs (spice mostly) and refused to live by my rules... Go to school and be respectful so.... She is now staying with a relative. I miss her very much and am lonely in a way I did not expect.
My mom made it through a surgery on her corodid artery and is in the midst of rehab... At home now. I am grateful. She has good and bad days since the stroke and the surgery. It takes a while for her brain to really heal up according to the Doctor and she will probably have some long term effects but, she is better than expected.
My brother is still in the control of his beast.... Which sucks but, as we all know that is simply out of my control.
I remain strong in my resolve and it has been a year and a half now since my "one night relapse". In the past two years my beast gained the upper hand just that once... I hope it enjoyed it because it will never happen again. And I will not change my mind. ��
I hope that at least a few of my old buddies GT, Non, SL just to name a few are still on here and check in.. I would love to know how your all doing. And if your new please browse through.... RR works. I was once the "neediest most befuddled alcoholic person" and today I am not only sober but, happily so.
Jess
Wow thank you so much. I have no clue if you are still on here because I see that post is from March but I really hope that you are. I don't come on here very often but, I do (once in a while) like to get some support. And your post from March was just what I needed... Karma dare I say!!!!
Not that I would've drank anyway. In fact I got that clearance. Yep, I got it. ���� I couldn't believe it. So, I've had multiple job offers and finally decided on one. Right now I am in the process of getting through the hiring process which is nerve racking at best and since I waited it out for the better job I have been out of work completely for over two weeks.
You see I quit my waitressing job thinking that the job started on the 18 th and then my paperwork didn't get through for this job until the 20 th so they said I could start on the 1st once my drug screen and background check are cleared. So, as of tomorrow things will be awesome or terrible because that is when I will find out for sure. Hopefully I start work on Monday and if not I am not sure what the future holds.
My daughter is having her own battle with drugs (spice mostly) and refused to live by my rules... Go to school and be respectful so.... She is now staying with a relative. I miss her very much and am lonely in a way I did not expect.
My mom made it through a surgery on her corodid artery and is in the midst of rehab... At home now. I am grateful. She has good and bad days since the stroke and the surgery. It takes a while for her brain to really heal up according to the Doctor and she will probably have some long term effects but, she is better than expected.
My brother is still in the control of his beast.... Which sucks but, as we all know that is simply out of my control.
I remain strong in my resolve and it has been a year and a half now since my "one night relapse". In the past two years my beast gained the upper hand just that once... I hope it enjoyed it because it will never happen again. And I will not change my mind. ��
I hope that at least a few of my old buddies GT, Non, SL just to name a few are still on here and check in.. I would love to know how your all doing. And if your new please browse through.... RR works. I was once the "neediest most befuddled alcoholic person" and today I am not only sober but, happily so.
Jess
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 170
Originally Posted by jkb
Greenwood-
Wow thank you so much. I have no clue if you are still on here because I see that post is from March but I really hope that you are. I don't come on here very often but, I do (once in a while) like to get some support. And your post from March was just what I needed... Karma dare I say!!!!
Not that I would've drank anyway. In fact I got that clearance. Yep, I got it. ���� I couldn't believe it. So, I've had multiple job offers and finally decided on one. Right now I am in the process of getting through the hiring process which is nerve racking at best and since I waited it out for the better job I have been out of work completely for over two weeks.
You see I quit my waitressing job thinking that the job started on the 18 th and then my paperwork didn't get through for this job until the 20 th so they said I could start on the 1st once my drug screen and background check are cleared. So, as of tomorrow things will be awesome or terrible because that is when I will find out for sure. Hopefully I start work on Monday and if not I am not sure what the future holds.
My daughter is having her own battle with drugs (spice mostly) and refused to live by my rules... Go to school and be respectful so.... She is now staying with a relative. I miss her very much and am lonely in a way I did not expect.
My mom made it through a surgery on her corodid artery and is in the midst of rehab... At home now. I am grateful. She has good and bad days since the stroke and the surgery. It takes a while for her brain to really heal up according to the Doctor and she will probably have some long term effects but, she is better than expected.
My brother is still in the control of his beast.... Which sucks but, as we all know that is simply out of my control.
I remain strong in my resolve and it has been a year and a half now since my "one night relapse". In the past two years my beast gained the upper hand just that once... I hope it enjoyed it because it will never happen again. And I will not change my mind. ��
I hope that at least a few of my old buddies GT, Non, SL just to name a few are still on here and check in.. I would love to know how your all doing. And if your new please browse through.... RR works. I was once the "neediest most befuddled alcoholic person" and today I am not only sober but, happily so.
Jess
Wow thank you so much. I have no clue if you are still on here because I see that post is from March but I really hope that you are. I don't come on here very often but, I do (once in a while) like to get some support. And your post from March was just what I needed... Karma dare I say!!!!
Not that I would've drank anyway. In fact I got that clearance. Yep, I got it. ���� I couldn't believe it. So, I've had multiple job offers and finally decided on one. Right now I am in the process of getting through the hiring process which is nerve racking at best and since I waited it out for the better job I have been out of work completely for over two weeks.
You see I quit my waitressing job thinking that the job started on the 18 th and then my paperwork didn't get through for this job until the 20 th so they said I could start on the 1st once my drug screen and background check are cleared. So, as of tomorrow things will be awesome or terrible because that is when I will find out for sure. Hopefully I start work on Monday and if not I am not sure what the future holds.
My daughter is having her own battle with drugs (spice mostly) and refused to live by my rules... Go to school and be respectful so.... She is now staying with a relative. I miss her very much and am lonely in a way I did not expect.
My mom made it through a surgery on her corodid artery and is in the midst of rehab... At home now. I am grateful. She has good and bad days since the stroke and the surgery. It takes a while for her brain to really heal up according to the Doctor and she will probably have some long term effects but, she is better than expected.
My brother is still in the control of his beast.... Which sucks but, as we all know that is simply out of my control.
I remain strong in my resolve and it has been a year and a half now since my "one night relapse". In the past two years my beast gained the upper hand just that once... I hope it enjoyed it because it will never happen again. And I will not change my mind. ��
I hope that at least a few of my old buddies GT, Non, SL just to name a few are still on here and check in.. I would love to know how your all doing. And if your new please browse through.... RR works. I was once the "neediest most befuddled alcoholic person" and today I am not only sober but, happily so.
Jess
You are one more example of how recocvery really happens - self help; self reliance; and self confidence. Right now, it is clear you are not powerless in any sense of the word, regarding anything. The best is ahead for you, congratulations.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
And if you're new please browse through.... RR works. I was once the "neediest most befuddled alcoholic person" and today I am not only sober but, happily so.
Jess
Jess
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Not sure what's happening with the job. She called and said she is having problems with my paperwork.... Uugghhhhh!!!!!! I don't want to be unemployed much longer. Going crazy as is. I guess I should have taken the other job that was a guarantee.... Well, whatcha gonna do. Hindsight is 20/20.
Nonsensical..... You are amazing!!!!! You have been sober a looooong time now. And Fini, great to see that your still on board as well. Dwtbd- yay you!!!!! I am so glad to hear from you. Freshstart- you hold a dear place in my heart internet friend.
So I have to get out of this house. Going nuts. Need a job. Financially I can't afford not too work and also I am going stir crazy. Hopefully she will call me today or tomorrow and say it's all good. If not, I guess there are other jobs out there :/ So frustrated right now. Words of encouragement appreciated
Jess
Nonsensical..... You are amazing!!!!! You have been sober a looooong time now. And Fini, great to see that your still on board as well. Dwtbd- yay you!!!!! I am so glad to hear from you. Freshstart- you hold a dear place in my heart internet friend.
So I have to get out of this house. Going nuts. Need a job. Financially I can't afford not too work and also I am going stir crazy. Hopefully she will call me today or tomorrow and say it's all good. If not, I guess there are other jobs out there :/ So frustrated right now. Words of encouragement appreciated
Jess
pretty much the coolest ever
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 37
I just went through and read every single response in this thread and I feel like I watched you grow, Jess. How funny, yet how exciting. Today is my first day and I feel how you felt back in 2013. I need to do this. I'm terrified.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your sobriety and posting this. You, my dear, are a badass.
Congrats!
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your sobriety and posting this. You, my dear, are a badass.
Congrats!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
2XSober, what great news for you! Congratulations.
Why not start your own thread here, and you can receive the same support, and soon provide it to others as Jess has done! You can do this thing. Onward!
Why not start your own thread here, and you can receive the same support, and soon provide it to others as Jess has done! You can do this thing. Onward!
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Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
time for a new part for this thread - join us here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
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