Nonsensical

Me either. My vanity in that regard is satiated.

soberlicious

jkb...I'm so happy for you that you have put the drinking behind you. I know what you mean when you say it feels different this time.
Thank you for the kind words. Sometimes I think I am quite awesome, and sometimes (like last night...meltdown on my sons) I think I am very unawesome. I am honestly at a loss with dealing with 3 teenaged boys sometimes, but I can say this with certainty: I am far more capable now than I ever was drinking. If that is all I know today, then it is enough.

ps you should have hijacked Non's thread lol...he wouldn't have cared. He's cool like that.

Nonsensical

Just don't be jackin' my style
I'm so three thousand and eight
You're so two thousand and late

Received

I love to see how much you've grown since you've joined here, jkb. Like I've posted before, you are so genuine.

Anyway, I think I just hijacked Non's thread but that's because I was too lazy to start my own and my post kind of, sort of, fit.

soberlicious

"They try to copy my swagger
I'm on that next sh*t now..."
haha! love me some Fergie!
One of my students actually told their mom they thought I looked like Fergie. They got straight "A"s the rest of the year.
lol

jkb

You guys are ridiculous... and thanks Recieved that means a lot to me. I am feeling quite "bad**s" today. Tomorrow who knows.

Nonsensical

A woman once told me that I looked like Tom Cruise. I was in Guam and she was a Korean prostitute I had been drinking with for 4 hours, so her opinion is highly suspect. After about 14 attempts to convince me to buy her out for the evening I handed her my cell phone and said, "Call my wife. If she says it's OK, I'll buy you out right now!" She declined. "What? I no call yo' wiiiiiiife." Later the mamazan bit me on top of my head, but I think I dared her. I'm surprised I remember that night.

Whose thread is 'jacked now?

soberlicious

LOL dude you're just jacked period...and I know this because it "takes one to know one"...

fini

jkb,

yay, cheers on the whole month!

just yanking the thread away momentarily to the insignificant side-issues here, away from the all-important bacon-bits

jkb

Thanks Fini... ur awesome. Starting to live happily sober vs just sober... its great... as you know.

jkb

Why is life so hard sometimes.... Now that I know I can be sober why am I unhappy with everything else. Specifically my relationship and my location and well the list goes on and on. I think I need a change but, lets be realistic picking up and moving in this economy with a child who has medical issues is not a valid option. I want to scream.

And that is my rant for today. Nothing really to do with sobriety but, it is where I am at today.

Nonsensical

You can whip an addiction. Nothing else on that list even comes close in terms of difficulty. Don't let it get you down.

Received

Hey, jkb.

"now that I know I can be sober..."

Could some of these thoughts be your AV trying to smack you around?

fini

interesting, yes?
from one post's "starting to live happily sober..." straight to "why is life so hard...now i'm unhappy with everything else"

Nothing really to do with sobriety but, it is where I am at today.
oh, i think it's everything to do with sobriety. in all kinds of ways.


the "fix everything magic" is gone. the sure escape hatch. what now?

makes perfect sense to me that everything's different.
living life has everything to do with sobriety when you're used to getting smashed-away.

scream!. find a good place and do it!

Nonsensical

Sometimes you just gotta vent.

Received

True, true...

RobbyRobot

Sorry your feeling unhappy, jkb. If it's just venting, then that's what it is, and we all have days that just blow. If it's more then venting, then perhaps its worth the effort to share whatever. Yeah, if its just venting though, whatever though, yeah?

I know for me, for all of us, happiness is important, and when without it, I always make the effort to be happy nonetheless. Not because I would be drunk if I wasn't happy, but because being unhappy simply sucks.

You can be happy, of course, jkb, as you already know, I'm sure. It really is a matter of personal choices, imo. Happiness is as happiness does.

I hope you feel better soon.

jkb

Maybe a little AV. I am happier sober than drunk for sure. Just frustrated. I absolutely have no urge to drink. Its kinda like fini said... "everything is different". And Robby it is a matter of personal choices. I have been a drunk incompetant (sp? sorry) idiot who could not make choices for almost 20 years. Now it is hard to be confient in my ability to make choices.... It just takes time to learn a new way of doing things.

And yep Non and Recieved... sometimes just need to vent. It beats telling the people you love..." Get out of my face I cant look at you anymore" Only to change your mind in 24 hours...lol

jkb

Oh yeah and I am trying to quit smoking... So between my whole 30 days of straight sobriety and lack of nicotine... I am sure I am just lovely to be around.

fini

jkb,
one of the contradictory pulls i experienced was very much the "everything is different" in a not-liking way, not-knowing-what-to -do-with-it and not knowing how to BE with/in everything-is-different...and being very much aware that the reason i quit was because i needed things to be different!
ha; i wanted/needed drastic change and then bitched to myself and others about the change....

just keep going.