Blogs


Notices

Non-program recovery

Old 01-08-2013, 05:41 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by fjd123 View Post
Thanks D, I can't reply to the PM but I'll just say my intention is not to bash anybody. If AA didn't exist I would have nowhere to go. However, I'm just not able to agree with the 12 steps.

So, I go and keep a low profile. Sometimes I'll share how some of the tools like AVRT help me stay sober, but I am very careful how I phrase it.

thanks

Frank
Hi Frank,

I'm able to use both AVRT and AA without serious hardship or difficulty, and I've been successfully doing so for decades. Its awesome.

Let me know if you want to talk...

Cheers!
RobbyRobot is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
Lenina (01-08-2013), mfanch (01-20-2013), SoberKat9 (04-16-2013), Tippingpoint (01-12-2013)
Old 01-08-2013, 06:29 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Hi Ananda;
Hope to hear from you again over here.
Fandy is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Fandy For This Useful Post:
Lenina (01-08-2013), RobbyRobot (01-08-2013)
Old 01-08-2013, 01:27 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
jkb
Member
 
jkb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 822
Blog Entries: 70
So, this is my first time actually on here, despite looking at the forum for months....Can I ask is this an area that is more RR versus AA or am I way off base here?
jkb is offline  
Old 01-08-2013, 01:59 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 195,101
Blog Entries: 1
This is the secular forum jkb - it pretty much does what it says on the box

Alternatives to 12 Step Recovery
Recovery from Substance Abuse and Support for Friends and Family of Substance Abusers

LifeRing-Smart-SOS, CBT, AVRT, Problem Solving, Self Management, Self-Empowerment, Rational Thinking, Positive Lifestyle Changes, Self Assessment, Commitment and Follow-Through, Self-Acceptance, Motives and Goals, Peer Support.

12 Step Programs are off topic for this forum and posts discussing 12 Step Programs will be removed. Please use the Secular 12 Step Forum for positive topics on Secular 12 Step Recovery.
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 01-08-2013, 02:08 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
jkb
Member
 
jkb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 822
Blog Entries: 70
Sorry I have never used this site and was not sure I was posting in the right area..
jkb is offline  
Old 01-08-2013, 02:08 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
jkb
Member
 
jkb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 822
Blog Entries: 70
Having a rough time navigating it...
jkb is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 11:13 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,407
Blog Entries: 1
Just wanted to let you know I'm ok...I have a dr appointment tomarrow at 2pm. Still working (though I missed Monday).

Need to get some blood tests and set up a plan.

Because I am not staying off the alchohol I am still loosing strength and having some normal symptoms of drinking (diarea and throwing up twice a day). But I'm managing to eat food and drink water.

I just know that doing nothing isn't going to help and the Doctor is the first place to start. It's crazy cause I called Monday, but my landline is not working (just figured that out yesterday)...but the doctor figured out how to get a hold of me at work even though I didn't give them the number....He has been with me through this whole last 20 years and it does matter to me that the extra effort was put in. I'm always honest with him (including what I didn't do and should have) and he does the best he can to help me find an answer...although ultimately he knows it's really just dont drink.

I gotta get back to work now, but I wanted to check in cause it buggs me that there are caring people here who are worried at some level. Just the facts...no self pity...unfortunately I don't have a lot of hope right now...but I think I'm willing to do the deal again...I just didn't want anyone to be worried I'm dead...

Thank you all and I'll post on Monday if not sooner.

Nands
Ananda is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Ananda For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-10-2013), Fandy (01-10-2013), Opivotal (01-10-2013), RobbyRobot (01-10-2013), soberlicious (01-10-2013), topspin (01-10-2013)
Old 01-10-2013, 01:53 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 195,101
Blog Entries: 1
We'll just have to have hope for you then Nands
all my best

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Old 01-10-2013, 04:29 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Absolutely! Tell us how it goes with your doctor.
We're here and you can be with us.:ghug3
Fandy is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Fandy For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-10-2013), RobbyRobot (01-10-2013), soberlicious (01-10-2013)
Old 01-10-2013, 05:02 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,407
Blog Entries: 1
:ghug3
Ananda is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Ananda For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-10-2013), Fandy (01-11-2013), RobbyRobot (01-10-2013), soberlicious (01-10-2013)
Old 01-12-2013, 09:34 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 6
Sober without a program

I think I fall into that category...though I've explored and participated in several recovery programs: SMART, AA, WFS, etc. Secular, as well as cognitive-thinking/behavior-therapy, has helped me more.

At the present time though, I don't actively participate in any specific program. I did have inpatient therapy, especially detox from alcohol (horrible time!); the program there was cognitive therapy. Then I went to a similar therapist for a few months. I also attended local AA meetings, but I'm a widow and the majority of males there were intimidating. However, that is not why I stopped attending: it was the spiritual/religious basis I had trouble with. In the South, that particular AA group was very religious and if anyone had a relapse, the whole group would start up with judgement about not accepting God, etc. Reminded me of southern baptist church services, which I rejected when I was about 10 years old.

I think I did learn from every group I attended, but finally decided I didn't want to live the remainder of my life actively participating in one group or another. I must explain that I had never drank at all till my husband died (I'm 61); then I gradually fell into alcoholism for 5 years. The first 4 years were more moderate/controlled drinking; the last year was hell on earth. Binging/stopping, binging/stopping...mostly due to my lone efforts to quit. Finally I went into the inpatient rehab, which I credit for getting me off booze for good. The therapist helped me understand some of the underlying emotional/psychological problems I had, which I've resolved. I do take anti-depression medication, and it's helped a great deal.

I do read several forums occasionally, comment if appropriate.

I firmly believe there is no ONE path for everyone. The path that works for one person might not for another, and that's why I accept that any program with success is right for that specific individual. And that some of us need that help at the beginning, but can choose NOT to drink and go it alone afterwards.
Authoress is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Authoress For This Useful Post:
Fandy (01-17-2013), mecanix (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-12-2013), SoberKat9 (04-16-2013), topspin (01-12-2013)
Old 01-18-2013, 04:56 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,407
Blog Entries: 1
I'm not sure I should post, but....

The Dr. is working with me and we have a plan...not treatment or a hospital..not "tapering off". It's something new so I'm happy to embrace it. I've been a bit exited for the last few days. But now ... well the bottle is empty and it's all on the line. I'm not struggling too much with a need to get more alchohol cause I feel like this a new chance to change. A bit anxious, but nothing too bad.

I really don't care what method helps me...I only care about finding a way to get off and stay off. The Dr. is working on a follow up care program for me after the detox, an insurance issue...but we have backup plans if that one doesn't work.

As much as it will shame me, if I fail I'll let you know so you know I'm still alive But I have a feeling this might work to get me past the worst and into a new, more hopeful state of mind.

Not a "program"...just a comittment to follow through on the plan and a bit of hope it might work if I don't waffle.

I might be a bit too crazy to post tomarrow....I have a three day weekend and will let you know if I am on track on Monday night. I do believe...I do believe...

thanks again
Ananda is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Ananda For This Useful Post:
Aleksandra (01-20-2013), Dee74 (01-18-2013), Fandy (01-18-2013), FormerBeerLover (01-19-2013), mecanix (01-19-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-18-2013), soberlicious (01-18-2013), topspin (01-18-2013)
Old 01-18-2013, 04:58 PM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 195,101
Blog Entries: 1
I hope it works for you Nands

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
mecanix (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-18-2013)
Old 01-18-2013, 05:01 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,272
So glad you are working with your doctor and you are keeping up hope.
xo
soberlicious is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-18-2013), RobbyRobot (01-18-2013)
Old 01-18-2013, 05:11 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Check in with us Ananda, stay safe.
Fandy is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Fandy For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-18-2013), mecanix (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-18-2013)
Old 01-19-2013, 02:55 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
non-drinker
 
FormerBeerLover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 11,439
After nearly 30 years of drinking, I'm now over 3.5 years happily sober with no formal program. I guess I'm just one of those that's been able to do it this way. I made several half-hearted efforts in the past, but I just wasn't ready to quit. I think the one common trait, regardless of recovery method, is the sincere desire to stop. Until one gets to that point, it's much more difficult.

Best of luck, ananda. I hope you find your way.
FormerBeerLover is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to FormerBeerLover For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-19-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-19-2013), SoberKat9 (04-16-2013), ToddE1 (04-21-2013)
Old 01-19-2013, 06:25 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
Adventures In SpaceTime
 
RobbyRobot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
I was so lost within my alcoholism when I finally quit for that last time in my supervised detox. I didn't know right from wrong, real from fantasy, sane from crazy. I had already been tagged by the mental hospital a few years earlier with being chronically schizophrenic. Serious stuff. I knew from my experiences I was far from right in my head. Drinking myself to an early death (I was 24) kinda proved I was losing it big time. I just couldn't stay quit though...

In the final detox I created the decision I didn't care anymore how I got sober or what sobriety was gonna mean to me. I just accepted the simple truth I was done with being drunk because I didn't want to die drunk. I put everything into just not ever getting drunk ever again, and I did that by following thru on my detox, doing my 90 day rehab, doing the AA program, doing therapy, reaching out to new friends and family...

What really kept me going though was my newly created desire to never get drunk again no matter what. Everything else just became more ways to get what I wanted: staying free from being drunk.

The first week was horrible. The second better. By the third I knew I was getting it on. By the fourth I was 'drinking real freedom' and that was the end of my alcoholic drinking, my thirst for living finally satisfied by not drinking. And getting on with living my new life.

Originally Posted by Ananda
I really don't care what method helps me...I only care about finding a way to get off and stay off. The Dr. is working on a follow up care program for me after the detox, an insurance issue...but we have backup plans if that one doesn't work.

You can and will do this, ((Nands)). You've said you too don't care how you get sober... just getting it done is enough!

I believe in YOU!

RobbyRobot is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to RobbyRobot For This Useful Post:
FormerBeerLover (01-20-2013), mecanix (01-19-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013)
Old 01-19-2013, 07:26 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
High on Life
 
TheEnd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by ananda View Post
Hi,

Does anyone not do a program? Is our only hope to take as faith and belief science or religion? Can a person really be honest and stay sober, or must we embrace as truth something, like a carrot of hope, regardless of our own experiences?
I believe this is possible, this is where I am now in my recovery, but it took me a long time to get here. I've been to detox, rehab, lots of therapy, and was a happy follower of the fellowship. For me, this is what I needed to get to this point. I needed a structured way of looking at things, I needed to be around people who "had what I wanted", I needed to believe in something outside of myself to get my through those tough periods. And as I look back I love seeing the rode I traveled to get to this place. As is often said, "Sobriety is a journey not a destination." By doing all those things I was able to reach this place.

After being sober for a period of time, I was able to look at things, dissect them so to speak and see things for what they really are. At the time, I wasn't able to do that, so I did what I needed.

Can you do it without a program? Only time will tell. I guess it depends a whole lot on where you are in this whole thing and how committed you are.

For me I equate my recovery to riding a bike. Before I needed a tricycle (detox/inpatient rehab), then as time went on I had a bike with training wheels (outpatient rehab/fellowship), then I had someone pushing me while I tried to stay up (distancing from the fellowship), now I 'm riding a 2 wheeler all by myself (no formal program).



Good Luck!!
TheEnd is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TheEnd For This Useful Post:
BethS (01-19-2013), FormerBeerLover (01-20-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-19-2013)
Old 01-19-2013, 01:52 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
That bell or bike person
 
mecanix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Blog Entries: 12
I don't think i work or follow any particular program . I have texts and people who influence me . I'm more attracted to phillosophy and the art of living happy and free from toxic thoughts, behaviour or substances .. It's a work in progress though and thats just fine with me

Bestwishes, M
mecanix is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to mecanix For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (01-19-2013), Fandy (01-20-2013), FormerBeerLover (01-20-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-19-2013), soberlicious (01-19-2013)
Old 01-19-2013, 02:17 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Celebrating Recovery
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: London
Posts: 46
Yeah I don't follow a programme as such. For me, I had tried and failed many times before to stay sober. I had done it all on my own for a while, and that was actually a huge mistake. It was horrible, even though I was sober quite a while.

This time around, I did go to AA every day in the beginning, and I found it a vital support mechanism, especially when i really wanted to drink in the early days. I am so grateful it was there, with everyone pulling for me to stay sober. But I didn't get a sponsor or do the steps.

While AA was holding me together, I basically focused on changing my thinking, using several methods, although no recovery-specific ones. After about 6 months I was pretty much a changed person and have rebuilt my life. I don't go to AA officially any more, but I'm in touch with lots of people in recovery.

I think there are a few things that everyone should do to stay sober, but it's up to us how we do them. ONE - work on changing your negative thought patterns, whether through the steps, CBT or whatever works for you. And TWO, get the right type of support while you do it. For me, I needed face-to-face support, hugs and cups of tea. YMMV.

I believe anyone can get and stay sober if only they find the right way for them. Good luck!
BethS is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to BethS For This Useful Post:
FormerBeerLover (01-20-2013), freshstart57 (01-19-2013), mecanix (01-20-2013), ReadyAndAble (01-19-2013), RobbyRobot (01-19-2013), TheEnd (01-20-2013), ToddE1 (04-21-2013), topspin (01-20-2013)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:23 AM.