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Hi everyone,

I have a month of sober time. AVRT is really working and helping. Had had no booze in my house for that period, to avoid tempting the beast.

Tomorow I am replacing my roof shingles before winter. Familly and friends will be here to help tomorow morning. I had to buy food and 24 for my volunteers. I spent the evening with the case in the kitchen. The beast was fully awake. I had a really hard time seperating it's voice from mine. Logic told me IT was not going to Win. All this to say that after the work is finished tomorow the beers left over are leaving my house. I tought I was stronger, I am not yep.

I'm happy I kept the beast in it's cave, but this was NOT easy ;-(
Just a couple, no one will know... Shut up you fu&@"! LOL!:c004:

It is a skill that has to be learned, but what is required is the awareness going into a situation of exactly what is happening. Being mindful, being aware of what you are thinking as you are thinking it. Becoming the watcher, the observer of the thinker. Watching yourself, like some fly on the wall, as these things are happening and you are reacting to them with your thoughts and emotions. Stuff like that.

Don't struggle, don't get angry, don't get anything....You can have those thoughts and emotions without becoming those thoughts. You can feel these things and still remain detached, without feeling as though you are invested in these thoughts and need to do something about them. They are just thoughts.

Thanks Freshstart, your wisdom and guidance are always appreciated!

I refuse to get into the "what ifs?", what if it wasn't bad for me? What if I overreacted and I don't really have a problem, what if I did it one more time for old times sake?

There is no what if anymore, I made a big plan to quit drinking and using drugs forever, and so I have no business thinking about it in the first place. Doesn't matter if any of the what ifs came true, I still made the plan to quit forever and so it doesn't matter what else happens, that one thing will always remain true. This approach doesn't really leave any room for that sort of flawed logic and mind chatter. Sure it can still happen but I don't have to engage it. What freshstart said is spot on.

I feared "shifting" for awhile. I thought it was the stupidest part of AVRT I'd ever read, well once I got past thinking "never" was the stupidest part. LOL. "Shifting" for me became a reckless, stupid feature of AVRT.

I found that the art of shifting helps with growth and confidence. I have practiced shifting so much that it is hard to shift now because my AV's senses have been so dulled.