Personality Type and Recovery
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I'm loving this thread...fascinating. So funny...I do resist labels...who knew there is actually a label for those that resist labels haha
Interesting to me too that so many of the posts I'm inspired by and drawn to are by those who identify as INFJs.
Interesting to me too that so many of the posts I'm inspired by and drawn to are by those who identify as INFJs.
So think about this...
Maybe INFJs do it different.
I started out by saying that I "get" AVRT, and I really think I do.
But I don't seem to feel this approach the same way I've read others describing it.
And the wisdom is that people who really "get" AVRT do it and then they're done.
No need for support or fellowship with other addicts, they're just done.
So I was thinking maybe I didn't really get it or I was deluding myself into feeling that I wanted sobriety but I really didn't.
Robby helped me to see that "wanting" is neither here nor there when dealing with the beast, that I could just leave that "problem" alone.
He's an aa guy who thinks AVRT makes sense.
And OTT is a SMARTie who thinks AVRT makes sense.
According to AVRT, that shouldn't "work."
But it makes sense to me!
INFJs... we seek understanding of ourselves, way more than others do.
Perhaps that, combined with our tendency to want to help others, explains the high concentration of NF people that we have found here.
Maybe INFJs do it different.
I started out by saying that I "get" AVRT, and I really think I do.
But I don't seem to feel this approach the same way I've read others describing it.
And the wisdom is that people who really "get" AVRT do it and then they're done.
No need for support or fellowship with other addicts, they're just done.
So I was thinking maybe I didn't really get it or I was deluding myself into feeling that I wanted sobriety but I really didn't.
Robby helped me to see that "wanting" is neither here nor there when dealing with the beast, that I could just leave that "problem" alone.
He's an aa guy who thinks AVRT makes sense.
And OTT is a SMARTie who thinks AVRT makes sense.
According to AVRT, that shouldn't "work."
But it makes sense to me!
INFJs... we seek understanding of ourselves, way more than others do.
Perhaps that, combined with our tendency to want to help others, explains the high concentration of NF people that we have found here.
So think about this...
Maybe INFJs do it different.
I started out by saying that I "get" AVRT, and I really think I do.
But I don't seem to feel this approach the same way I've read others describing it.
And the wisdom is that people who really "get" AVRT do it and then they're done.
No need for support or fellowship with other addicts, they're just done.
So I was thinking maybe I didn't really get it or I was deluding myself into feeling that I wanted sobriety but I really didn't.
Robby helped me to see that "wanting" is neither here nor there when dealing with the beast, that I could just leave that "problem" alone.
He's an aa guy who thinks AVRT makes sense.
And OTT is a SMARTie who thinks AVRT makes sense.
According to AVRT, that shouldn't "work."
But it makes sense to me!
INFJs... we seek understanding of ourselves, way more than others do.
Perhaps that, combined with our tendency to want to help others, explains the high concentration of NF people that we have found here.
Maybe INFJs do it different.
I started out by saying that I "get" AVRT, and I really think I do.
But I don't seem to feel this approach the same way I've read others describing it.
And the wisdom is that people who really "get" AVRT do it and then they're done.
No need for support or fellowship with other addicts, they're just done.
So I was thinking maybe I didn't really get it or I was deluding myself into feeling that I wanted sobriety but I really didn't.
Robby helped me to see that "wanting" is neither here nor there when dealing with the beast, that I could just leave that "problem" alone.
He's an aa guy who thinks AVRT makes sense.
And OTT is a SMARTie who thinks AVRT makes sense.
According to AVRT, that shouldn't "work."
But it makes sense to me!
INFJs... we seek understanding of ourselves, way more than others do.
Perhaps that, combined with our tendency to want to help others, explains the high concentration of NF people that we have found here.
I read somewhere (I can't remember where) that INFJs have a very deep need to understand themselves and the world around them, but are constantly having to readjust their understanding as they learn new things...so it's like a constant quest for truth. That is certainly true of me. I am always revising my viewpoints as I learn and grow. There are times that I would like to "just believe" something and then not think about it anymore; it seems like that would be easier. But when I've tried, it just never works out. I am not wired that way.
I have seen this tendency to constantly tweak or to see every situation as.... situational as alternatively a very positive thing (I roll with the punches, almost nothing ever gets put in a box) or a very negative thing (I'm wishy washy, don't know who I am). I think the positive assessment is more "true," but of course every yin has a yang. As my mother said once to my great delight, "Some people like to think the world is black and white, but they're mistaken - it's plaid!"
Seems that facing addiction would be less complicated (I'm not saying easier!) without the constant revision.
I know that some people would say all of that "I'm too flexible" stuff is AV plain and simple, and I might be inclined to agree. So I am who I yam. Knowing this, I can still be rigid and put my foot down when I make up my mind to do so. In this sense, knowing one's personality type could be tremendously helpful. In preparing to confront the beast, it's good to know that AV will use logic with a good dose of feeling and self-doubt thrown in just to mix it all up.
I want to say I totally enjoy this thread and want to thank you for helping me find a free test. Yes, I am also an INFJ. I am convinced that is why AVRT is working for me and so relieved I am not alone and have others here for the support since I will not have meetings to give me that. Alcoholic husband certainly is not supportive, but a few friends have been. I find that by being and introvert, I recharge by being alone, thinking, and reading. So that is why I am here. It's been 6 weeks now since I started, or think I started, AVRT. It really didn't come on as a "bang" but more as a "whimper." Just decided to quit. The lack of fanfare made it easier with less pressure or feelings of failure.
To my delight, I can still do things that I love, like playing bar trivia, with very little temptation with the added benefit of no fear of driving home. I was afraid that giving up alcohol meant giving up so many other things. So glad there was an alternative to AA.
Not 100% convinced that NEVER drinking again is for me. It's probably my AV. My experience is that when something is forbidden, it causes even more wanting. For me, not advocating it, an occasional preplanned "chocolate covered pretzel" or glass of wine is not failing. Just like allowing myself a pack of cigarettes once a year has stopped me from picking up the habit. Rarely, I may indulge, but most the time I'm not interested anyway. A DQ Blizzard (my substitute) beats them all and tastes way better.
To my delight, I can still do things that I love, like playing bar trivia, with very little temptation with the added benefit of no fear of driving home. I was afraid that giving up alcohol meant giving up so many other things. So glad there was an alternative to AA.
Not 100% convinced that NEVER drinking again is for me. It's probably my AV. My experience is that when something is forbidden, it causes even more wanting. For me, not advocating it, an occasional preplanned "chocolate covered pretzel" or glass of wine is not failing. Just like allowing myself a pack of cigarettes once a year has stopped me from picking up the habit. Rarely, I may indulge, but most the time I'm not interested anyway. A DQ Blizzard (my substitute) beats them all and tastes way better.
It's been 6 weeks now since I started, or think I started, AVRT. It really didn't come on as a "bang" but more as a "whimper." Just decided to quit. The lack of fanfare made it easier with less pressure or feelings of failure.
To my delight, I can still do things that I love, like playing bar trivia, with very little temptation with the added benefit of no fear of driving home. I was afraid that giving up alcohol meant giving up so many other things. So glad there was an alternative to AA.
Not 100% convinced that NEVER drinking again is for me. It's probably my AV. My experience is that when something is forbidden, it causes even more wanting. For me, not advocating it, an occasional preplanned "chocolate covered pretzel" or glass of wine is not failing. Just like allowing myself a pack of cigarettes once a year has stopped me from picking up the habit. Rarely, I may indulge, but most the time I'm not interested anyway. A DQ Blizzard (my substitute) beats them all and tastes way better.
To my delight, I can still do things that I love, like playing bar trivia, with very little temptation with the added benefit of no fear of driving home. I was afraid that giving up alcohol meant giving up so many other things. So glad there was an alternative to AA.
Not 100% convinced that NEVER drinking again is for me. It's probably my AV. My experience is that when something is forbidden, it causes even more wanting. For me, not advocating it, an occasional preplanned "chocolate covered pretzel" or glass of wine is not failing. Just like allowing myself a pack of cigarettes once a year has stopped me from picking up the habit. Rarely, I may indulge, but most the time I'm not interested anyway. A DQ Blizzard (my substitute) beats them all and tastes way better.
For me, wanting what is forbidden is easily solved by letting go of the want itself. Keeping the want of course makes the forbidden all the more attractive. Kinda like driving. We tend to steer our car where we hold our vision, is my experience.
I know you're not advocating drinking, just wanted you to know AVRT without a Big Plan in place is, in fact, not AVRT.
Originally Posted by Saint Francis
My experience is that when something is forbidden, it causes even more wanting. For me, an occasional preplanned glass of wine is not failing. Just like allowing myself a pack of cigarettes once a year has stopped me from picking up the habit.
I'm also a little fuzzy on how just a little smoking will stop you from, well, smoking. Like Robby says, that Big Plan is an essential part of AVRT.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 40
Cool thread! Another INFP (sometimes J) here. Enneagram type 4. I identify with both, but I found Enneagram told me far more about myself, stuff I'd never considered. Some of it offered perspective on my addictive personality. Type 4's over-identify with their emotions; feeling sh*tty can become a full-blown identity crisis and is regarded as something that needs to be resolved quickly. "Get me to the liquor store ASAP..."
I think it's funny that I'm an INFP because i can't stand disorganization. Drives me nuts. Though the last time I did that humanmetrics test, my preference for Perceiving was slight. So I have a slight preference for going with the flow and information-gathering and have a bit of trouble making decisions (like what method to use for getting and staying sober). But that whole need for cleanliness and organization throws my P preference out of whack.
I think it's funny that I'm an INFP because i can't stand disorganization. Drives me nuts. Though the last time I did that humanmetrics test, my preference for Perceiving was slight. So I have a slight preference for going with the flow and information-gathering and have a bit of trouble making decisions (like what method to use for getting and staying sober). But that whole need for cleanliness and organization throws my P preference out of whack.
Thanks. That's what I was thinking! According to the personality gurus that makes me...ready for it?..."The Mentor"
I checked, no emoticons smileys for a rediculously charismatic, altruistic and positive leader with a bunch of empties trailing behind. C'est la vie.
I checked, no emoticons smileys for a rediculously charismatic, altruistic and positive leader with a bunch of empties trailing behind. C'est la vie.
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