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It's funny to me. . . .

Old 10-06-2012, 10:26 PM
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It's funny to me. . . .

. . . .that all the qualities about myself that I have always loved are exactly the qualities I needed to draw upon to say "I am never drinking again"

I'm the type who has always believed "I am in control of my choices. I choose the outcome based on my initial choices"

Yet, when it came to my alcoholism, I was told it wasn't my fault, I couldn't help it, it's an allergy, a disease, a hopeless cause.

And it never felt right. It never added up logically. When I brought up my issues regarding this, I was told I had no ability to think for myself and my thinking is what got me in trouble in the first place.

I've noticed that it seems easy to recognize my AV. Maybe it's because I'm an internal person so I listen to myself a lot, if that makes sense. I just know, when I hear the Imp roaring, I know what IT Is.

And I realized the past few days is the first time since I started my journey that I realize no one in my other form of recovery believed in me. They said the only way for me to achieve any form of sobriety was to take myself out of the equation.

Now, finding this site, learning about AVRT, it's the first time I have heard "M, we believe in YOU. YOU can do this"

All I know, is that the past few days, I have been able to take the alcohol, put it away (in my mind) and get about the business of living.

And isn't that what it's all about?

I'm living. I'm having a life. And I am no longer obsession "OMG! I have to not drink today. I have to do xyz to not drink"

Instead, I have my moments of saying "Stupid craving, shut up" and get back to my business."

All I know is a switch flipped in me. I no longer obsess about drinking. I no longer wonder "OMG, how will I do it" I just do it. that simple.

I was told I am taking the easier, softer way. I told them no, I'm taking the right path . . . .for me!
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Old 10-07-2012, 03:50 AM
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Thank you so much for that, it was almost like I wrote it myself it's exactly how I feel and reading it has made my day. I had exactly the same issues with a certain recovery group I was told I was sick diseased every thought that was negative was because I was alcoholic, if I did not get to a meeting then I was doomed to be drunk sooner rather than later if I did not ring my sponsor and pour out my heart then my disease would get me.

Then I come across avrt on Sb I do the crash course on Rr read a lot of posts have the book on order made my big plan and bang, the switch you describe went off in my head the biggest problem in my life ceased to be a big deal at first IT thought this is impossible you can't get well away from aa your sick. But as the weeks have gone on its amazing iam more at peace happy than at anytime bouncing around aa.

I don't know whether you have to be a certain type of person to get avrt or whether it works for all addicts but what I do know is iam so grateful to have come across it! This is not one day at a time but forever!!
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Old 10-07-2012, 04:23 AM
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<<<standing on the side of the street cheering as you pass by with a smile on your face missy
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Old 10-07-2012, 06:52 AM
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Lionheart, thank you. And I have wondered the same thing: If AVRT is something that appeals to some people and not others. I don't know the answer to that. But I do know from what I have read and read over the past few days, one thing stands out: AVRT is not something that works or not. We are the ones doing the work .

To me, AVRT lays out the foundation and it's up to the individual whether or not they say: I'm doing this or I'm doing something else.

And GypsyHeart: Thank you!!!!
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Old 10-07-2012, 07:24 AM
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Oh yeah, MissyShelle. When the "Big Plan" thing clicks, it's like the click heard 'round the world!
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:01 PM
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Beautiful, MissyShelle.
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Old 10-07-2012, 03:43 PM
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Hi MissShelle,

So happy to hear you have found yoru way to AVRT. It is such a good feeling when you realize there are options, and you are in control.

Im a family member; my husband is now almost 6 months clean from opiates. He entered a non-12 step rehab, and through that found a better way for him also. He could not get behind the premise of the 12 steps as they went against his character also. He does not have to surrender; he is in control.
He can get better; he does not have to wear a label forever. He inspires me everyday & Im so proud of him.

Welcome & so glad you are here.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:14 AM
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Thank you to all those posts. I related so much to everything that has been said. Life throws up problems, but I no longer feel like I'm clinging on with gritted teeth to not take a drink. The beast whispers and I move on. I'm so relieved to read people going through the same things. Because I don't feel to go down other recovery routes I'm told I AM sick! Lol. Yes, If being free of alcohol is sick, somebody call me a doctor!!!! HAHA!
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Old 10-09-2012, 11:20 AM
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Today, emotionally, has been pure hell for me. And I noticed, walking ot my car, I had NO desire to drink. The idea seemed preposterous to me. Now, do I still have thoughts like "Oh, this is too freaking easy. You'll never do this forever" or "You can have a drink. One drink. Geesh" I just now recognize it for what it is and don't dwell on it. I'm like, "Ok, well, I don't WANT to drink" and I move on.

I guess the best way for me to describe it is that I have taken that big bottle of tequila, wrapped it up. put it away and I have no desire to go get it back down from where it is.

I've also been working on the Shifting concept I've read about here. Very fascinating.

All I know is this: I'm sober. Not for today. But overall. I am sober.

And now I need to go punch a bag or meditate like my counselor said, or just sit still with my feelings. ARGH!

But hey, I'm proud of myself for reaching that place where drinking is NOT an option.
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Old 10-09-2012, 12:58 PM
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I get that, sometimes I have to double take because it's so easy not to drink and in he past it was so hard. I suppose IT wants to complicate things and make us think abstinence is unachievable when really its as simple as not picking up a drink. Why stop drinking 1 day at a time when you can stop drinking for all time!!!
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:33 PM
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Exactly. I mean, seriously, I have a date Saturday night. I have let him know I do not drink. We are going to dinner. He may have a drink. I figure, if I do get an urge, I'll just do what I've been doing: Shut it up. I've had dates where I didn't drink and had fun. And it sure will be nice not to have the "OMG, what did I do last night" hangover the next day.

Plus, I'd like to have an adult relationship where "I" shine, not my drinking abilities.
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Old 10-09-2012, 05:03 PM
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At events like that one, MissyShelle, I anticipate the urge coming. I don't look forward to it, but if it comes, it doesn't surprise me. I become conscious of me having the urge, like I am looking through a camera which is looking down at me at the table with this person, in the total environment, everything. And I watch.

This is mindfulness, I guess, a way of being present in the moment, and I find it fits very well with AVRT. The idea of separating from the beast is built in with this tool. It also means that I am not fighting the beast, I am just watching without judgement. There is no fear or panic, no white knuckles, because the urge has no power to make me do anything. It's more of a 'Meh'.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:47 PM
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my counselor today gave me handouts on mindfulness as well as some ideas on practicing it. I swear, it's as if AVRT was hand picked for me...lol.

But seriously, I am not going to be surprised when the urges hit. But I am not going to stress over them either.

I'm going to enjoy my date and going to enjoy each moment! The beast may decide to tag along, but the damn Imp isn't getting anything to eat...lol.
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:09 AM
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what is AVRT
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:12 AM
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Addictive Voice Recognition Technique® found it thanks
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Old 10-11-2012, 04:31 AM
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This is so great! Thanks for sharing!
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Old 10-11-2012, 09:53 AM
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FreshStart, I have been stopping and paying attention to my thoughts. I find that I am doing what you stated: Looking down and surveying, without judging. I even find that I'm not "arguing" with my AV. I'm just noticing 'Ok, so It still wants a drink, hmmm" and move on. I don't sit and analyze or entertain the thought, I just notice It's there and move on.

Over the past couple of days, I have had the Beast roaring a bit louder and my AV talking a lot louder:

wouldn't it be fun to have a couple drinks on Saturday, loosen up? You're on a date. You almost always drink on dates.

I'm sober. I don't drink anymore.

well, you know what to do. Drink Saturday and then start over again on Sunday.

Yeah, that's not how it works LOL

I then allow myself to sit with those feelings surrounding going ahead and drinking. At first, it's all warm and fuzzy. Then as my thoughts go through the night, the next morning, I get nauseated. I feel disgusted.

So, I then imagine myself going through the date with no alcohol. I feel strong, capable, I like knowing that I am having real conversation, showing my real side, being dropped off back home at a reasonable hour without fear of "too much booze" making me a little too flirty and setting the wrong tone.

I like the Shifting aspect of AVRT. As I am doing it more, I see it's usefulness and also realize, I was doing that before. I just then decided, well, screw it, I know it's going to suck anyway, but I'm drinking.

But stopping, being mindful of my feelings surrounding each side, it's helpful.

I keep saying this and I can't say it enough, but the day I was in chat and introduced to AVRT, I went right to the site and did the crash course. The hopelessness, the guilt, the shame, the "I am never going to kick this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" frustration, it all went away. I found my journey. A path that seems tailor made for me.

And since that day, I still get some urges, but not bad. I recognize that when the doubt comes in "You aren't doing this forever, pffft!" that's not my True Self. And I let it go.

Like I told my counselor the other day: I'm sad but I don't feel hopeless. I have hope every single day in my life. But right now,some things are just so foggy, I can't quite see the way out of XYZ.

I'm just grateful that I'm only foggy, not drunk/hungover.

I've always believed the best way to make a person successful is to show them that they have what it takes to accomplish things. AVRT just reaffirms that.
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