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Making a Big Plan and meaning it

Old 10-13-2012, 11:10 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Of course I'm not stuck.
I choose.

It's really irrelevant in AVRT whether I am stuck or not.
I recognize the beast.
I have the power to overcome because it has no power without me.

I can't think of one single thing more to say here.
I guess I must not want it enough because if I did I'd surely be done.
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Old 10-13-2012, 07:15 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Of course I'm not stuck.
I choose.

It's really irrelevant in AVRT whether I am stuck or not.
I recognize the beast.
I have the power to overcome because it has no power without me.

I can't think of one single thing more to say here.
I guess I must not want it enough because if I did I'd surely be done.
No worries. Don't be concerned with "wanting enough" and whatever else that provides an escape for your Beast. Your statement "...must not want it enough because..." is pure AV.

Sometimes we can seperate our mentality from our Beast, and yet still be attached emotionally. It's not just about thoughts and urges to get drunk or whatever. The Beast also likes to rule using addictive feelings of ambivalence to keep us in the dark as to our true and honest feelings about ourselves.

With AVRT, "want" is unimportant. We do not fight against ourselves to hope for a better life. We simply use AVRT to make distinct, against the background of our Big Plan, all addictive desire for alcohol, and make sure such desire is completely and totally removed from ourselves, and attributed to only our Beast, respectively.

So, we can feel what the Beast feels, and sometimes become confused that we, and not the Beast, feel like being drunk, or scared, or angry, or dishonest, or whatever --- about being drunk AND about being not-drunk.

It is way important to really make distinct not just thoughts but also feelings of difference between ourselves and our respective Beasts.

Only my Beast can want to be drunk. Only my Beast can fear a sans-alcohol life. Only my Beast can pretend to be messed up about wanting to be sober...

Not me.

Me, I'm all good about never drinking again. There is no downside to not drinking. No fears. No problems. No negatives. All that lousy, noisy, useless, crap belongs to my Beast, and zero of that crap belongs to me about trouble with a sans-alcohol life...

Pretty simple, eh!

So, Obladi, fear not about "wanting whatever enough"

Forget about it, lol. It dosen't have to be your problem.

I never cared about "wanting sobriety" in all my 31 years of living a sans-alcohol life, and I've never had a problem with any of that "want" nonsense. It just dosen't matter.
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Old 10-14-2012, 05:03 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Thank you, Robby.
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Old 10-14-2012, 08:58 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Robby, I want you to know that you gave me enormous comfort with what you wrote.
Bigger than the sky big.

Something in all of that made me realize that I have not been able to make a Big Plan because I don't trust the future.

Strike that, right.
The beast does not want me to even think about the future.
The beast wants to party all the time, future be damned.
If I trust the future, it can see the writing on the wall.
It knows it has no chance once I start planning and believing.
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Old 10-14-2012, 10:04 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Yeah, strike that Beast noise! hahaha

Awesome, Obladi. I'm way happy you're feeling comfortable. And that your Beast is not, lol. Well done. You got it going on.

I always remember, even at my weakest, darkest moments, I'm still so much more than my Beast ever was, or ever will be, and forever more, I'll win the day simply by being the real me I've always been able to be since quitting the booze now and always, and never changing my mind about not drinking.

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Old 10-20-2012, 10:15 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot View Post
You know, I'm not sure it is helpful for you to buy into your Beast not using AV as a proper voice when it "talks" to you. Of course, the Beast does use feelings and imagery, yes, but, it also MUST use some manifestation of a voice too. Some dialogue MUST exist, because to get you to return to drinking, you must think about how to do the deed, and how to dismiss the obvious consequences to in fact accomplish the dirty deed.

I would STRONGLY suggest you revisit the idea that your Beast is silent. Our AV is created from our own thoughts, then used against us. This is the place to start and perhaps take a second look at what you define as AV from your Beast.

As we know, the more secret our Beast can become, the more powerful is its desires, and its desires can mask over AV detection when one assumes it is not in fact using Addictive Voice in its profper sense.

Want to break the cycle of your Big Plan seemingly failing? Seek out and discover that hidden AV.

For what its worth, Big Plans simply can't, don't, and won't fail...

Possible failure comes, simply, from us not properly using AVRT, yeah?

I hope you can hear me being on your side with my opinion on your use of AVRT.

Cheers!
Thanks everyone and for your great post RR. I have not forgotten about this but am currently stuck in a rut.

When drinking I want to quit and when not drinking I want to drink.

I'll post back soon and thanks again. I know I will nail this once and for all.
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:57 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
 
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I think we can recognize AV without seperating from it...by that I mean we aren't always sure who is thinking what in the beginning.

Recognizing AV is crucial, and the split...the absolute understanding that "IT-is-not-ME"...is equally as crucial. When I first quit, before I was really adept at splitting, recognizing, and ignoring, I just said "It's all bullsh*t, all white noise, ALL AV" That made it easier for me because I didn't spend time analyzing (and thus unwittingly engaging with the beast). Like OTT, "not an option" was my mantra.

As far as "cunning, baffling, and powerful", I think that statement is pure AV. It's designed to instill fear, which leads to doubt. Cunning? The AV is an extension/reflection of you so it's not more "cunning" or smarter than you. Baffling? Not at all. Quite the contrary. It's really extremely predictable given it's agenda. It wants to drink and will stop at nothing. Where's the baffling surprise here? Lastly...powerful? It has the exactly as much power as you give it.
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:23 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Great post, Soberlicious. Yes, I believe "cunning, baffling & powerful" is absolutely AV, one of the neat tricks it tries to play on us. It is not really a big scary monster, it just wants us to think it is.

I think it's actually pretty easy to spot AV once you get the hang of it, too. It's so simple. Any thought containing the possibility of drinking now or in the future is AV.
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