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Old 08-24-2012, 02:04 PM
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Sorry if this question has been asked before!

For those of you that are using/trying AVRT instead of AA, did you have a hard time "selling" it to your loved ones? I mean, do any of them feel as if you're not doing enough because you aren't going to meetings every night or you don't have a sponsor you call twice a day, things like that?

My partner has been on my back recently because I stopped going to AA. I haven't said anything about RR and AVRT because I wanted to really get a good grasp on the concept before I explained it to her. Anyway, I'm afraid I'll get a negative response. Like the typical AAers response of "you just don't want to do the work". "you're an addict and will always be an addict", etc

any experience to share?
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Old 08-24-2012, 03:36 PM
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Well, for me, I tried AA but i am not religious as much as they say it is spiritual not religious but for me I dropped out at step 3. I am now starting AVRT I plan on going to my first RR meeting on Monday 9 9(it is an hour away but I now know it is what I need). I just can not accept that some "higher power" can take responsibility for an action that I personally decided to take.
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Old 08-24-2012, 03:38 PM
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Not a silly question in the least, Silly. I was lucky in that my family has no experience with AA. Not to say there aren't any 'sobriety issues', but I have 4 uncles who used to drink alcoholically but no longer do, and I have never heard of them attending meetings or sponsors or 12 step journeys or any of that. I guess that means I come from a family of 'do it on their own-ers'.

There might be a bunch of relearning from the 12 step mentality that you are familiar with. Maybe your family will need some time to see the results from your new approach. I am sure that your actions will speak for themselves.
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Old 08-25-2012, 08:45 AM
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Hi silly,

Actually, when I stopped going to 12 step meetings my husband was relieved and my family couldn't have cared less. They all wanted me healthy first and foremost.

Of course there's a lot of misinformation out there which leads some people to think that there is only one "right" way to recover. It's not unusual to run into that, but I'm convinced that the solution isn't defensiveness: the solution is courage and most of all, success.
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Old 08-25-2012, 09:02 AM
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My family has concerns about my sobriety. They are not particularly concerned about what "program" I use. They are concerned that there be a plan and progress that reflects it.

The bottom line is that those who want us not to drink want to feel like there is a guarentee. I don't believe any "program" gives a guarentee. But those who care are going to tend to want to "know" the problem is solved once and for all.

For me part of the dealing with this alchoholism is to stop worrying about satisfying others need for security. It's ok they want it, but none of us have it in our lives. Comming from a family that has dealt with alchoholism in most of the family members, there is a strong need for others to believe sobriety lightening bots have landed and it's all over. It really doesn't matter if their security rests on AA or RR or ARVT or some other program. They just want to feel safe. I can't give that safety to anyone. I choose what I will do and try not to justify, reasure or otherwise impact where they are at...that is their deal. Our deal is to stay sober.

Just my immediate thoughts.
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Old 08-25-2012, 10:17 AM
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I don't think any program can give a guarantee either, ananda. But I feel that I, personally, can. My commitment is absolute. My family doesn't question it, nor would I want them to. I caused enough pain with my drinking to last several lifetimes.
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Old 08-25-2012, 02:31 PM
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Thanks, everyone. So far I haven't gotten any question about why I'm not going AA meetings so I'll just sit tight and not worry about it.
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Old 08-26-2012, 01:01 AM
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Tell your partner that your trying a different program for your recovery. If they don't agree with it then explain that your getting the right help for you. I'd they truly care then they will understand.
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