freshstart57

And here is Dee, always playing to strength.

This was precisely my feeling when I undertook this whole 'stop this drinking cr@p right now, buddy' thingy. And that was weeks before I found SR and TU found me. SoberJennie also stepped up to wave the RR flag at me. Thank you, TU and Jennie, wherever you may be.

This is one of SJ's most recent posts, from last September. Back to Marcus Aurelius. Attempting to convey the nut of this to others new to sobriety is part of the heavy lifting that goes on in the other forums, let me tell you.

Weasel1966

RAA I am master of my domain... is that the same?

ReadyAndAble

Only in a narrowly defined way, but everyone's gotta start somewhere, lol...


Yeah, when I first arrived, I was definitely not ready to be told "Hey, just change your perception and you'll change your reality." My experience with addiction up until then had led me to conclude it was an extraordinarily powerful force. What helped a lot—I can't remember who said it to me first—was when someone observed that cravings are just feelings, they can't hurt us physically if we don't act on them, and they invariably pass. That was the moment I began to realize that addiction might be like the Great and Powerful Oz... just a little man pulling levers behind a curtain.

Weasel1966

RAA.... I like that!

It is like OZ! You would think a friend of dorthys would know that!!!

I will use that as a reference point when I need it. Remind me that cravings have no power.

justhadenough

I agree.

I Also like the reference to the fact that the AV can't pour the drink and lift the glass to your mouth. I think of this when I get a craving

shockozulu

As do I, and I don't work RR. It goes to prove that many methods of recovery come to the same end.

ReadyAndAble

Up to a point, shock. Some things I don't believe can be reconciled, however. For example, "One day at a time" runs counter to the Big Plan, and vice versa.

onlythetruth

Ok, so I go away for a few days and you folks are having a grand old time here on the secular forum!

Great stuff being written. I'm thrilled.

HuskyPup

Hey, and thanks for asking about me, sorry to have vanished. Have had a bit of a bumpy time, emotionally. Have mostly avoided drinking, but the nights I did, ouch...I think I have a hidden death-wish, or that a part of me has given up, again. This seems to happen, even in periods of being sober, this thought that life will not go on much longer anyway, this urge to hasten it's end. So I try and stay positive and not drink, but it is hard. I can't explain how I feel inside, at times, but it is like I feel trapped by so many things in my past.

I am trying to be better, not sure it is working. still looking for some kind of meeting that is open to various approaches, no real luck, maybe something here? Though in the past, it was a lot of fighting if I posted outside of this section, so I am still scared to...I know some folks like to take the tough love or see how wonderfully balanced and recovered I am approach, but it just made me feel smaller and worse about myself, and run away, and hide. So I have been hiding, you could say. Like I need to begin all over again. Only where????

Well, sorry to be so moody, and inconsistent...will try and post more about that I am trying to do, and what is going on....

ReadyAndAble

Hey, HP, I left a reply on your other post. Good to see you. Yeah, I remember you getting into a skirmish or two. No worries, part of the deal. Addicts and recovering addicts -- serious stuff, discussed by passionate folks. I've come to realize I can not be drawn into a debate against my will; I mean, it's the Internet, ya know? Click a button and it all disappears. Click another and you'll find something more supportive to read.

I can totally relate to feeling trapped. My guess is that it's not your past, or even the state of your life today. It's addiction. For me, part of the illusion was that I had all these other problems preventing me from quitting. If only I could change this or that, then I could stop drinking. Guess what? It turned out that I had to quit drinking in order to improve everything else, including relationships with others. It actually made life simpler to see it that way, since it allowed me to focus on the thing that mattered most, ya know?

Anyway, glad you're back. I remember how it feels. Don't give up.

shockozulu

I meant different forms of secular recovery.

shockozulu

Glad you're back HP. I got concerned when you stopped posting on the nerd ville thread.

Obladi

HuskyPup, when I told a sober friend of mine how very down I was, that I was so down I didn't even feel sad about it, she said, "Well, yeah. Alcohol's a depressant."

We can't know if it will always look hopeless until we clean out the chemicals and see how it feels after awhile.

For me, I think that drinking both consumes and fuels the despondency. It's a vicious cycle that needs to be interrupted - short term discomfort be damned. Because, after all, I've been suffering short term discomfort every day, and that has only proven to increase the long term disappointment in myself. Trading the one for the other is at least a step in the right direction.