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Old 05-10-2012, 09:38 AM
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Anonymous Big Planning - A Great Teaching Method

Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
Since a Big Plan commitment cannot be proven to another person, there is a possible result of using AVRT successfully that could unintentionally leave dangling threads in Sober Recovery's format of communication.

Someone making a Big Plan could, very logically, decide not to tell anyone else, and with good purpose. For example, if a spouse is addicted, the impact of a Big Plan announcement might have counterproductive effects on the relationship.

In the anonymous format here on SR, when someone learns AVRT and makes a Big Plan, there is no AVRT based reason to go any further, or even announce having made a Big Plan.

Someone who's made a Big Plan has to know they've made it because they can't lie to themselves, and no one else can ever truly know that they've made it because it's purely an inside the brain cascade of synaptic connections. So, why tell anyone, especially on an anonymous forum?

So, when we see someone here clearly getting their nose to the door of the Big Plan, it doesn't mean they haven't already opened it and gone through.

It is even possible for someone to say they have not made the Big Plan when they really have, although it's harder to imagine good purposes for doing so.
Having said all the above, there is another side to publicizing anonymous people learning and using AVRT in real time. That's why I think TU is spot on with the goal of teaching (and encouraging others to teach) AVRT here even to the point of drawing out the process of people making their Big Plans. I, and I see some others, attempt to do the same.

I believe what's going on here is one of the best ways to engage and enlighten both addicted and non-addicted people who may be unsure about other methods of recovering.

See my post from two months ago about "History in the Making".

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3309108
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Old 05-10-2012, 12:34 PM
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Forever seems like a long time.
I know. Maybe it helps to look at it in qualitative terms, rather quantitative? Which do you think would be preferable: A life without another drink vs. a life where you drink, stop, drink, stop, drink, stop.....

The key for me was to stop looking at "forever" as a sacrifice, and start thinking of it as gift. If I were in prison, would I be afraid of being released forever?
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Old 05-10-2012, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
The key for me was to stop looking at "forever" as a sacrifice, and start thinking of it as gift. If I were in prison, would I be afraid of being released forever?
Beautiful...it's all about a shift in perception. I like your style, RAA
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Old 05-10-2012, 08:32 PM
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I hope so, soberlicious, seeing as you're one of my role models.
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:28 AM
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Many thanks to everyone on here. It has made a huge difference today. I have just finished reading the AVRT Crash Course and am about to order the book.

The Big Plan (I just bought the book) speaks to me perfectly.

I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Chimp!
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Old 05-11-2012, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Chimp View Post
Many thanks to everyone on here. It has made a huge difference today. I have just finished reading the AVRT Crash Course and am about to order the book.

The Big Plan (I just bought the book) speaks to me perfectly.

I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Chimp!
Welcome Steve ( I noticed your name on another thread ),

You have discovered that recovery can be a singular event for anyone, including yourself, and you have done it. Whatever struggle you suffered to get to this point will now change. AVRT gives the method that minimizes all mental anguish about not drinking in the aftermath of the Big Plan.

I enjoyed learning AVRT and I suspect you will, too.

GT
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Old 05-11-2012, 06:03 AM
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Sorry, wrong thread.

oops.
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Old 05-11-2012, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki View Post
I'm off today and am re-reading RR cover to cover.

Pam
Pam,

What were the most interesting revelations and/or insights you had as a result of rereading RR:TNC that you'd be willing to mention here?

GT
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Old 05-11-2012, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
Pam,

What were the most interesting revelations and/or insights you had as a result of rereading RR:TNC that you'd be willing to mention here?

GT
1.) That I need to practice shifting more frequently. It shows me perfectly that I control my thoughts and that I control my actions regarding alcohol use. I sort of glanced at shifting my first reading - it is a very useful activity, I really could feel the difference as I shifted my thoughts - very interesting.
2.) Any thoughts that come into my head regarding alcohol use is Beast activity. Since I can control my thoughts, I can tell Beast to f-off.
3.) That once I make my Big Plan, Beast activity may flare but will taper off fairly quickly as it sees and feels my resolve.

I know there are more, but I'm tired (hard week at work). I can state with absolute 100% truthfulness - I am so much calmer, less anxious, laugh more, have more energy, sleep better, have more fun and get way more done being sober. That amazes me - people told me I would but I didn't know it would be this much better. Even badness, stress, angry people - I handle these normal bumps in the road of life with more grace and peace than I ever have in my entire life.
Thanks for asking,
Pam
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Old 05-11-2012, 07:25 PM
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When I finally committed to my big plan, I felt an incredible lightening of my spirit. When I said the words in my head and actually meant them, it brought a huge smile to my face. In fact, if I'm ever having a hard day or am in a bad mood I can bring myself out of it by savoring those words again..."I will never drink again...".

I carry my big plan around with me as a secret that only I know...my secret to happiness, strength and confidence for all eternity.

I know it isn't easy to get oneself over the brink...make that leap of faith so to speak...but it's a lot of fun once you do.

Good luck Pam, Varja, Chimp and anyone else that might be struggling with the big plan. Keep reading, keep working, keep figuring it out...bit by bit, you will get there.
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Old 05-11-2012, 08:45 PM
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Many thanks GT, Pam and TippingPoint.

TippingPoint, it was your discussion of AVRT on the June 2011 thread that initially brought it to my attention. Shame that it has taken me so long to order the book, read the resources online and engage.

The book will arrive today. In all my years of drinking, I have never bought a book on alcoholism before. This feels right.

And I love the honesty that seems to come with AVRT.

Well, it is 4.43 in the morning here. My body is still feeling the effects of alcohol previously in the week. Not yesterday though and for that I feel great!

Twice I shifted my thoughts away from alcohol, conscioulsy spke to the Beast. He seems a pathetic creature.

I look forward to getting the book, learning but most of all practising.

Chimp!
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Old 05-12-2012, 01:47 AM
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Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble View Post
The key for me was to stop looking at "forever" as a sacrifice, and start thinking of it as gift. If I were in prison, would I be afraid of being released forever?
And when we're released from prison we don't become nostalgic about our incarceration and wish we could sometimes return to our cell, just for old times sake.

We walk free and never look back.
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Old 05-12-2012, 05:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Chimp View Post
Many thanks GT, Pam and TippingPoint.

TippingPoint, it was your discussion of AVRT on the June 2011 thread that initially brought it to my attention. Shame that it has taken me so long to order the book, read the resources online and engage.

The book will arrive today. In all my years of drinking, I have never bought a book on alcoholism before. This feels right.

And I love the honesty that seems to come with AVRT.

Well, it is 4.43 in the morning here. My body is still feeling the effects of alcohol previously in the week. Not yesterday though and for that I feel great!

Twice I shifted my thoughts away from alcohol, conscioulsy spke to the Beast. He seems a pathetic creature.

I look forward to getting the book, learning but most of all practising.

Chimp!
Welcome back Chimp! Really glad to see you again.

AVRT works - the big plan is the key.

I spent a few months saying the words but not REALLY meaning them. Once I got serious about my BP it all came together for me.

Cheers!
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Old 05-29-2012, 07:13 AM
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Sure, lots of people drink there. Lots of people drink here. You're not lots of people. You're Pam. And you no longer drink. Good thing, too. Because every alcoholic who drinks themselves into an early grave have one thing in common—they all bought into an excuse to drink. A place, a time, an event, a mood... there are as many excuses as there are addicts (and beasts). But none of those matters when you've decided to never drink again.
Good stuff!
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Old 07-24-2012, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki View Post
I'm in the same boat although my Beast is laying low today. Having a total block against committing to a BP.

What I am finding interesting to analyze is WHY I am having so much trouble. The Beast knows I am going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and "how can you possibly go to Europe and not drink?" My Beast is winning the battle over this because I (me, Pam, not Beast) is thinking the same thing.

So, I am not having problems staying sober now, but I am seriously not confident of going to France without Beast.

Work in progress.

Hope your beastie-boy settles down - it is not pleasant when he throws a fit. I am looking forward to (eventually) kicking him out of my head forever.

Pam
Hi Pam,

I was thinking about the summer and that a lot of folks who've recovered with AVRT have moved past recovery and into the rest of their lives which makes it seem a little slow here on Secular Recovery. So, I was wondering about your post above from May 7th. Have you dealt with your Beast and your AV in France yet?

GT
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Old 07-24-2012, 09:43 PM
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I like your theory, GT. AVRT folks are like great white sharks. When they're very young, they stick close to shore. But eventually it dawns on them that they are great white sharks... and off they go, into the wide open sea.
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Old 07-25-2012, 07:05 PM
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Hi!
Just returned from France yesterday. Drank nearly every day while I was there. A glass of wine with lunch, 1-2 with dinner. Tasted OK, didn't get drunk. It screwed up my sleep something fierce. No desire since returning. Didn't even really want it there, but drank it because it felt like the thing to do.

All that pre-trip sturm und drang about a liquid that doesn't taste that good anymore and doesn't make me feel well.

Now..... I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. I don't even need a small drum roll. Sobriety feels too good and I've got alot of things to get done.

Thanks for checking back in with me, very friendly and nice. Never thought the BP would be so anti-climactic.

Pam
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Old 07-25-2012, 08:11 PM
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Thanks for the update, Pam.

Odd, isn't it, that the thing we thought was so hard to give up, sometimes turns out to be quite easy to leave behind?

You sure sound solid to me. Maybe there's something to be said for anti-climactic BPs.
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Old 07-25-2012, 09:58 PM
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Nice! Very nice!

I noticed you were following my BP for sweets a month or so ago with the Thanks button. Even though I had essentially quit sugar months before I made my BP, it was not anticlimactic. I immediately felt a huge polarization take place within me against my sugar Beast. It was almost like putting on infrared goggles to see a heat source in the dark.

Did you know you were drinking your last drink in real time?

Did you make your BP in France?
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Old 07-28-2012, 12:45 PM
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Hey,
I knew I was having my last drink on the plane trip back to the U.S. We were in first class and the booze was free (and free-flowing although I didn't take advantage of that).

Wasn't quite sure when I would say the words... I will never drink again and will never change my mind.... UNTIL I read your post!!! I thought....now would be a good time. My angst was gone. G.O.N.E.

It was actually quite amazing to me that I made my BP while I was posting here on SR. For the last 4 months while I've been thinking about making the BP, I never would have imagined that it would just come so freely and easily -especially after the internal battles that I'd been fighting off and on.

Really. Very cool.

I have no desire to drink. I do not drink, will never drink and I don't have to worry about going back to that hell-hole again. My beast doesn't have a chance against the new me.

I'm so psyched about not ever having to worry about drinking, getting drunk, being hungover, nauseous, shaky, etc.

Sobriety = Freedom. Freedom to live, love and learn. To reach greater heights and handle the lows straight up and sober.

Thanks for being interested in my plans and progress. Hope y'all are well and happy.

Pam
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