shockozulu

From here...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-viii-21.html

shockozulu

You always make me smile, as does your location.

Lately I've been spending some of my time pondering my all or nothing thinking. I can't seem to do things without doing them 120% so nothing gets gone.

gneiss

Thanks.

I get a chuckle out of my location. Naturally, a metamorphic rock such as gneiss would be under immense pressure. *guffaw/knee-slap* The corny geology puns never end.

I am being promoted at work. It doesn't take effect until May, but my training on my new duties has begun. Totally stressing out. One of my friends at work kinda built me up to our boss a bit so I would be sure to get the promotion. I didn't ask him to do it but now I feel like if I don't do well I'm not just letting myself and my boss down, but also making this guy look bad. My friend and my boss seem to have more confidence in me than I have. Also, I've only worked for this company since July and this is my 3rd promotion and 4th pay raise, so I'm definitely feeling the pressure. My boss gives people a fair bit of leeway, he likes to say errors are just on-the-job training, so that helps a bit but I'm still feeling like I'm under the gun.

shockozulu

Oh I get it, in fact I had just finished my geology lab when you signed up IIRC. I was thinking it was one of the hardest courses I have yet to take and I've taken some doozies (arabic, physics etc). I was lucky I pulled a "B". My gift was never in that field. It was tough.

Oh, I hate that under the gun feeling and know it all too well. One thing I have learned to do well is make fists with all that pent up energy and then release my fingers as wide as they will go, it really seems to be a physical "letting go" if that makes sense.

gneiss

Good advice. I'm going to try it for the next few days. Thanks.

See, geology comes easy to me, it's a breeze. Chemistry was pretty rough, I am proud of the B I got there, I earned it. But calculus... man, I was just happy to pass. One of my professors was interested in how brains were wired across different disciplines. He was a geology prof but he was good at physics and calculus and had to learn how to teach geology brains effectively. And that meant occasionally he'd lose the entire class. LOL

freshstart57

I think that calculus is still related to geology. In fact, its inventor, Isaac Newton, invented it to answer a question about how long it will take a falling rock to hit the ground.

And I'm sober with RR since Aug 2011, and expect that I will stay that way for good.

shockozulu

That sounds like my Earth Studies professor. He was actually a biologist, not geology. To keep his train of thought I would have to draw cartoons in my notes to understand where he was going when I went back to read them.

freshstart57, Glad to see you post here. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey with RR, I love learning all about secular programs. I use SMART myself.

californiapoppy

Checking back in, I still haven't finished reading the first thread about AVRT, but I do like it! I've ordered the book RR and will keep checking in from time to time. Glad to see many of the old gang are still around.

shockozulu

Glad to see you back. I know from my library work that this book was very popular. I am hoping to hear from you on how it works.

gneiss

Woke from a nightmare an hour ago. Still can't sleep, feeling uneasy, want to turn on the lights and look around again, but I keep trying to tell myself that's crazy. The monsters and boogeymen in my dreams are not in the room with me. Been stressed out and trying to change from working nights to working days these last couple days. Maybe that's why, all the stress, but it was the type of bizarre nightmares I had pretty much constantly while I was doing dope. It'll be tomorrow before I shake this feeling. Maybe I'll just go get a snack.

simian66

Hello,

I haven't been here for a while. I seem to have hit a cold patch in the pool of life. Lots of stressful stuff going on. I can't seem to get out of bed and face the world at the moment. My phone beeped the other day. It was a reminder I had set ages ago... 1000 days off the weed!

I hope life picks up a bit. I guess things could be a lot worse. If I was smoking I would crumble into a complete mess right now. Hope everyone else is doing well!

Zencat

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recycle

I have not been by SR in while. Lots of changes in my life. Still sober (yeah) and about as happy as I can stand. I went back to work a few months ago which everyone tells me is a good thing. I am not as impressed. Having money makes life a little more convenient but it has its own set of compromises...

Yoga and meditation are daily pleasures that are heart of my recovery. I still have some heretic friends I visit in the "program which cannot be named" and I find that great resource. I hope all of my friends are well.

Bamboozle

Sober but having tons of drinking thoughts...that's why I've been posting a little more on SR lately. Support here helps.

I'm getting itchy feet again. I want to find something else to do with my life. I have no direction and feel brainless.

shockozulu

Its been a hard week. Good and bad, but a lot of emotions. A friend of mine lost his adult child to suicide last weekend. I just finished writing him a letter. This is the second loss my friend had in his immediate family in last year.

My main computer of six years went into BIOS password lockdown. I have no way to get to Windows because somehow I put the wrong password into BIOS. Only problem, it never asked me. I don't have the money to get this fixed. My photos and music from all those years stuck on that hard drive.

Starting from scratch I wrote my recovery story for this forum. That brought up a lot of old feelings, but they've been seeping in my life anyway. I'm moving on little by little now that my mother's estate is wrapped up. It still hurts though.

Its time to admit the home I'm living in is not a good environment for anyone seeking to remain in recovery. Even looking at empty boxes reminds me that I need to pack and move. This will be the first time I've lived away from family in over twenty years. While still here I'm living with someone who is behaving as if they are abusing a substance. What it is doesn't matter to me. All that matters is my home isn't a comfortable or safe place to be.

The Soulsavers' album has been in my collection for almost two weeks. It still moves me and I listen to it almost daily. The music also brought up a lot of my feelings as the lyrics are focused on recovery from drug and alcohol abuse.

That's where I am.

shockozulu

I can't believe this thread dropped to page 4 while I was gone.

I left home and now live in a safe environment. I'm much happier than I ever thought I would be again. Things are really looking up.

Glad to be back here at Secular. I missed all of you but for my own safety had to put other priorties in my life, such as finding a place to live after spending time where my abuser couldn't track me down.

lyddie

Shockozulu - I am glad you are back and I was pleased to see this thread when I clicked on New Posts. Being and feeling safe are good.

freshstart57

You were missed, shockozulu. Very happy to have you back.

shockozulu

Thank you for the welcome back. I really missed SR and especially Secular.

I'm sitting on the patio today just enjoying the sunshine. It's amazing how my trials have helped me appreciate the simpler things in life.

lyddie

Enjoying the sunshine on the patio sounds peaceful. My Sunday afternoon is a Deadwood Marathon with random bouts of dusting and cleaning.