Blogs


Notices

Here to learn

Old 03-04-2012, 07:59 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Let's not jump the gun here, now.

She hasn't answered the magic questions.

GirlFromCO,
  1. Are you going to drink/use again in this lifetime? (YES/NO)

  2. Are you ever going to change your mind? (YES/NO)
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
GirlFromCO (03-04-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-04-2012), sober4metoday (03-05-2012), Zencat (03-04-2012)
Old 03-04-2012, 08:34 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GirlFromCO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Lol, really? I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. Today I felt so peaceful and free... I had forgotten how that feels. Thanks, folks.
GirlFromCO is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to GirlFromCO For This Useful Post:
Bob36 (03-06-2012), Dalia (03-07-2012), freshstart57 (04-09-2012), GerandTwine (04-02-2012), Lyoness (12-24-2012), m1k3 (03-16-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-04-2012), soberlicious (03-04-2012), Terminally Unique (03-04-2012), topspin (03-04-2012), unentschieden (03-13-2012)
Old 03-04-2012, 08:44 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by GirlFromCO View Post
Lol, really? I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. Today I felt so peaceful and free... I had forgotten how that feels. Thanks, folks.
Welcome to the other side, GirlFromCO. That feeling can last a lifetime, if you let it. Congratulations.

To all you lurkers: this is how it's done.

She's not kidding about feeling peaceful and free, either.
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
Dalia (03-07-2012), debsam (03-05-2012), freshstart57 (04-09-2012), GerandTwine (03-05-2012), GirlFromCO (03-04-2012), KaliCali (03-31-2012), m1k3 (03-16-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-04-2012), soberlicious (03-04-2012), topspin (03-04-2012)
Old 03-05-2012, 09:46 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GirlFromCO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique View Post
She's not kidding about feeling peaceful and free, either.
Yeah... I feel like I just gave myself a future, if that makes sense. If I knew it was going to make me feel like this I would have done it a lot sooner. Thanks again everyone for helping me talk it through.
GirlFromCO is offline  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to GirlFromCO For This Useful Post:
Dalia (03-07-2012), freshstart57 (04-09-2012), GerandTwine (03-05-2012), Lyoness (12-24-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-05-2012), sober4metoday (03-05-2012), soberlicious (03-05-2012), Terminally Unique (03-05-2012), topspin (03-06-2012), unentschieden (03-13-2012)
Old 03-05-2012, 10:10 AM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by GirlFromCO View Post
Yeah... I feel like I just gave myself a future, if that makes sense. If I knew it was going to make me feel like this I would have done it a lot sooner.
Oh, it does.

I'd still encourage you to read through all the AVRT materials, though. You'll have a perfect defense, without needing to rely on anyone else.
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
GirlFromCO (03-05-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-05-2012), soberlicious (03-05-2012)
Old 03-05-2012, 11:24 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
GirlFromCO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Will do.
GirlFromCO is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to GirlFromCO For This Useful Post:
ReadyAndAble (03-05-2012)
Old 03-05-2012, 05:16 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Member
 
debsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
Hi guys

Just wanted to say that this is one of the best threads I have read on SR.
I feel like I've just finished a University semester

I'll be poking around here a lot more. Awesome exchange guys - thanks
debsam is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to debsam For This Useful Post:
Dalia (03-07-2012), freshstart57 (04-09-2012), GirlFromCO (03-05-2012), KaliCali (03-31-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-05-2012), soberlicious (03-05-2012), Terminally Unique (03-05-2012), topspin (03-06-2012), Zencat (03-05-2012)
Old 03-05-2012, 11:42 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Not The Way way, Just the way
 
GerandTwine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,414
Blog Entries: 13
Something's Going On Here That May Be Recovery History In The Making

For time immemorial, people have been ending addictions quickly and on their own in order to get on with their lives.
But there is a predominant feature of this age-old type of recovery that renders it somewhat mysterious in society.
People who do it want to keep it private and personal for obvious reasons. This makes it very under-reported and socially enigmatic. And by the same reasoning, people are very unlikely to even contemplate developing this commonplace type of recovery into an articulated program to be understood and used by other addicted people.

Nevertheless, Jack Trimpey succeeded on this very score. He had the perseverance and the independent insight to develop and stick with a "New" program that ironically ends up being a perfect overlay onto what people have been doing for centuries on their own. When I think about it, how could the best result be anything else for showing people how to do something as simple as not swallowing, inhaling, or injecting? The proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

Well, I've only been here a few months, but this all leads me up to what I think is Terminally Unique's stroke of genius on August 11, 2011, when he started the AVRT thread and as to why it and the AVRT related threads are becoming more popular and enduring. I see a combination of three ingredients here on the SR forums that I don't think have ever existed for learning AVRT anywhere, ever before -

1. Ease of communication in a structured learning format (SR Forums) at no cost with a consummate educator (TU)

2. Anonymity to maintain privacy for this very personal decision making

3. Simple ground rules with reasonable and firm boundaries and enforcement

This is what I think makes Secular Connections such a fresh gem in the over 200 year history of recovery in America. So, watch out, it just might go viral someday.
GerandTwine is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to GerandTwine For This Useful Post:
Bob36 (03-06-2012), Dalia (03-07-2012), GirlFromCO (03-06-2012), KaliCali (03-31-2012), m1k3 (03-16-2012), RobbyRobot (03-13-2012), soberlicious (03-06-2012), Terminally Unique (03-06-2012), topspin (03-06-2012)
Old 03-06-2012, 09:19 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 73
Im sure having fun with this- I recall countless times praying, going to meetings, swearing I would try. Im done. Im having a blast BEING done and my life is improving on every front quickly. Except my lungs are kicking up the crap - but at least thats progress.
Bob36 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Bob36 For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-06-2012), GirlFromCO (03-06-2012), Terminally Unique (03-06-2012)
Old 03-06-2012, 10:56 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Given who it's coming from, GerandTwine, I appreciate the sentiment. I know there are no 'old timers' with AVRT, but I am nevertheless mindful that you may very well know more about AVRT than I do.
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
dybehfar (03-07-2012), GerandTwine (03-06-2012), GirlFromCO (03-06-2012)
Old 03-06-2012, 11:34 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 73
TU- you did a great thing. and your PM was very helpful to me- Keep it up. I think it is a very significant observation on Trimpey's part that most people (certainly me) hit meetings at the threshold of quitting- only to be introduced into a culture of codependency and hand wringing about an issue that simply needs to be dispensed with in short order so that life can go to a good place and the family is restored.
I was happy with my decision to go to meetings - because of my resolve. But, given how independent I tend to be, and that culture, I was already beginning to get weirded out by some of the folks anxious to help.
Trimpey's outlook is so commensurate to my own on many things- from ethics to art to fitness- that (as I said in PM) I just found myself laughing at various points while reading his site- which is my inner mystic (trademark!) letting me know Im in good company.
Keep up the work. It its important.
Bob36 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bob36 For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-08-2012), GirlFromCO (03-06-2012), soberlicious (03-07-2012), Terminally Unique (03-06-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012)
Old 03-06-2012, 06:06 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
Not The Way way, Just the way
 
GerandTwine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,414
Blog Entries: 13
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique View Post
Given who it's coming from, GerandTwine, I appreciate the sentiment. I know there are no 'old timers' with AVRT, but I am nevertheless mindful that you may very well know more about AVRT than I do.
I was a subscriber to the Journal of RR back when AVRT was being developed in real time, and I always looked forward to reading it and absorbed it like a sponge. That was a while ago. Today, you, TU, are really on top of all things AVRT including its past development, and that is really useful. So, with your great teaching style, I really can't imagine anyone doing a better job of it here.
GerandTwine is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to GerandTwine For This Useful Post:
GirlFromCO (03-06-2012), RobbyRobot (03-13-2012), soberlicious (03-06-2012), Terminally Unique (03-06-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012)
Old 03-07-2012, 10:20 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: US
Posts: 91
Thank you for this excellent and insightful thread. I felt like GFCO was reading my mind and asking all of the questions that I had been thinking about. The feral cat example really broadened my understanding.
Dalia is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Dalia For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-08-2012), GirlFromCO (03-07-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-13-2012), Terminally Unique (03-07-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012)
Old 03-07-2012, 01:00 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
Reach Out and Touch Faith
 
shockozulu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by Bob36 View Post
Im sure having fun with this- I recall countless times praying, going to meetings, swearing I would try. Im done. Im having a blast BEING done and my life is improving on every front quickly. Except my lungs are kicking up the crap - but at least thats progress.
Gosh, how many times had done all that (accept the lung part). I always practice what I preach but just couldn't really get into my thick skull one way or another on the-day-at-a-time deal. Then doing computer security work last night another member of my fellowship shared a very wise thought. It was "It's One Day at a time. If I think farther than that I know my thinking is screwed." and you what? He's right. If I keep projecting into the what might happen, nothing good comes from that.
shockozulu is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to shockozulu For This Useful Post:
KaliCali (03-31-2012)
Old 03-07-2012, 01:10 PM
  # 55 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 73
Totally disagree with one day at a time for me. Ive always known who I was and what I was about. One day at a time is an out for me- Im committed without question to sobriety now- and it is qualitatively different from the type of humility I used to have to my "sickness" Ive been using (not counting pre teen occasional exposure) 31 years And Im done- coke was the catalyst which made me put all of it down. Im a social drinker by nature - not tending to over drink or drink for the sake of drinking- but that is a distraction from other use- so its gone as well- next year I go to London and I might "relapse" on cask beer- but Ill make a definitive decision one way or another before I go and stick with it. I dont know this guy Trimpey- but I agree with his thought- its a morality issue- not a disease issue. Thinking of it as a disease degrades the concept of disease. You can quit if you want to- but there aren't half measures.

I think there is a confusion with "one day at a time" and being "in the now" they aren't tantamount. Most any human endeavor predicated upon being in the now requires sheer discipline to access. Any artist can tell you that. One day at a time (for me) was essentially a refusal to commit. People may be successful with that- but the replacement for dope is just hanging out with people worrying about dope. The only way to defeat dope is to kill it and get the references to it out of day to day action and thought entirely- otherwise it has you in its absence.

If I could just cure male pattern baldness the same way...
Bob36 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Bob36 For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-08-2012), GirlFromCO (03-07-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-13-2012), shockozulu (03-08-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012), Zencat (03-13-2012)
Old 03-07-2012, 01:12 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by shockozulu View Post
It was "It's One Day at a time. If I think farther than that I know my thinking is screwed." and you what? He's right. If I keep projecting into the what might happen, nothing good comes from that.
Bob is not talking about what might happen, though. He's talking about what won't happen (getting high).

Originally Posted by Bob36 View Post
You can quit if you want to - but there aren't half measures.
You're right on target, there, Bob. Half-measures won't do, and it's all or nothing. Set your confidence level for lifetime abstinence arbitrarily at 100%. If it drops, even a fraction of a percent, you are hearing your Addictive Voice. All self-doubt is AV.
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-08-2012), GirlFromCO (03-07-2012), shockozulu (03-08-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012)
Old 03-08-2012, 10:08 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
Not The Way way, Just the way
 
GerandTwine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,414
Blog Entries: 13
The Intransigence of AVRT

Originally Posted by shockozulu View Post
...another member of my fellowship shared a very wise thought. It was "It's One Day at a time. If I think farther than that I know my thinking is screwed." and you what? He's right.
Copyright 2005 - 2012 Shockozulu

When ideas like this are included in a thread about learning how to quit for good, it's like a gift on a platter - a great opportunity to use AVRT and recognize the idea for what it is, institutionalized AV.

Even though the fellowship idea directly implies that AVRT is not right (because AVRT rejects outright one day at a time), and, therefore, logically, AVRT must be wrong, there is no way the fellowship idea can actually influence the abstinence of someone using AVRT.

This is the beauty of AVRT.

Even if every single person in the whole world belonged to this "fellowship" and held such ideas of being "right" in regards to intentionally refusing to make a commitment about future drinking/using;

Even if Jack Trimpey himself were convinced he had been wrong in creating AVRT and decided to go back to the fellowship meetings;

Even if it could be proven that no one ever in the history of mankind had been able to do what I've done with AVRT;

well, EVEN THEN, I would not be able to join in and decide that " " If I think farther than that I know my thinking is screwed." "

I am simply unable to relinquish my commitment to permanent abstinence.
GerandTwine is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to GerandTwine For This Useful Post:
GirlFromCO (03-08-2012), m1k3 (03-16-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-13-2012), RobbyRobot (03-13-2012), shockozulu (03-08-2012), Terminally Unique (03-08-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012), Tippingpoint (03-16-2012), topspin (03-12-2012)
Old 03-08-2012, 10:17 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
Not The Way way, Just the way
 
GerandTwine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,414
Blog Entries: 13
Recognizing Verb Tense

Originally Posted by Bob36 View Post
One day at a time is an out for me- ... Ive been using (not counting pre teen occasional exposure) 31 years ... Im a social drinker by nature ...
Alternative sentences -

One day at a time WAS an out for me
I HAD USED 31 years
I WAS a social drinker by nature

It could be that the following portion of your post reveals why your AV is still able to successfully insert the present tense in your thinking about using vs. abstinence.

Originally Posted by Bob36 View Post
... next year I go to London and I might "relapse" on cask beer- but Ill make a definitive decision one way or another before I go and stick with it.
GerandTwine is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GerandTwine For This Useful Post:
Bob36 (03-08-2012), GirlFromCO (03-08-2012), Terminally Unique (03-08-2012)
Old 03-08-2012, 10:27 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location:    USA                        Recovered with AVRT  (Rational Recovery)  ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
When ideas like this are included in a thread about learning how to quit for good, it's like a gift on a platter - a great opportunity to use AVRT and recognize the idea for what it is, institutionalized AV.
I didn't want to say it, but you are correct, GT. The cardinal rule of addiction ("never say never to the possible future use of alcohol and drugs") runs rampant in society at large, and in the recovery ecosystem in particular. Since it obviously suggests the possibility of future drinking/using, AVRT will necessarily expose it as Addictive Voice. AVRT is a perfect shield against not only your own AV, but against the AV of others.
Terminally Unique is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Terminally Unique For This Useful Post:
GerandTwine (03-08-2012), RobbyRobot (03-13-2012), shockozulu (03-14-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012), topspin (03-12-2012)
Old 03-13-2012, 04:23 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
Random Guy
 
InsertNameHere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by GirlFromCO View Post
Lol, really? I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. Today I felt so peaceful and free... I had forgotten how that feels. Thanks, folks.
TU posted the link to your page on the AA vs. RR/AVRT thread (which is really interesting reading as well), but anyway I just read through this and figured I would say congragulations GFCO!

Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
1. Ease of communication in a structured learning format (SR Forums) at no cost with a consummate educator (TU)
And thanks for the free "lesson" everyone!
InsertNameHere is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to InsertNameHere For This Useful Post:
GirlFromCO (03-16-2012), ReadyAndAble (03-13-2012), Terminally Unique (03-13-2012), Tillies (04-01-2012)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:26 AM.