CactusJill

I used to love going to clubs, but to be honest, it was only to get drunk and meet other drunk people. I tried going to bars with my BF a few times sober and I was bored and disgusted by what I saw. Drunks are... well... annoying!

However, with that said, I like going to the blues club in my city. It does sometimes cause the AV to kick into overdrive, but I am going to stay sober - never going back.

chrisepic

People don't really go in to McDonalds to eat dry salads and drink water. They go there to indulge, they go there for instant gratification.

I was a professional DJ for 12 years. There are sober DJs but there are few and far between. I had to "retire" from DJing if I really wanted a fighting chance at sobriety. Nothings changes if nothing changes. And there sure isn't a reason for "testing" yourself if you're an addict/alcoholic by going into the war zone.

You've already admitted that you're trying to rationalize the irrational. That's got to be of some value to you right there. If reinventing yourself is what it takes to stay alive then there you have it.

RobbyRobot

A war zone?
Where is the fight honestly happening in a sans-alcohol life?

In an active addiction, a war zone mentality makes some practical sense because of the destructiveness of abusing alcohol/drugs. On the other hand, a properly experienced sans-alcohol/drug life is no longer enslaved within the mentality of 'fighting' whatever wherever -- especially alcohol/drug abuse-- to sustain abstinence.

So-called testing opportunities can neither fail or succeed because the requisite struggle is non-existent. The testing itself would be delusional and unimportant.

Reinvention can easily allow for a non-combatant sans-alcohol/drug life of happiness, joy, and freedom to be the best we can be, and be ourselves, no matter our immediate enviromental experiences.

I do agree that nothing changes if nothing changes. And so, unless one has stopped fighting the useless fight with addiction, then of course temptation is everywhere, and failure is eventually guaranteed, imo.

chrisepic

In the mind. In the brain. In the body. But less meat, more milk for the newcomer. If we weren't at the mercy of our environment, or at least highly motivated by it, well then we wouldn't have eyes, ears, nose, mouths, hands, and legs.

I wouldn't think it appropriate, hanging out at night clubs where alcohol is served if someone is new in sobriety. When one is new in sobriety, it sure does feel like a battle; wrestling between cravings and temptations and staying sober and doing sober-minded activities. Learning to live differently. Learning to "surrender" is a practice, an insight that isn't embraced overnight. There's no reason why I could go to a dance club and enjoy electronic music... but I wouldn't want to risk it this early on in my recovery.

RobbyRobot

Surrender is a unique and defining experience, imo, not an event, series of events, or a practice to be learned. I suppose one could find justifications based from fears, to stretch the experience out, but one would be mindful of working against themselves while doing that stretching, yeah? Again, why create a fight when a fight is not helpful to reach the goal?

I do agree that if a person decided they are not ready for whatever, they will in fact allow for behaviors which support their decision, so as to sustain their immediate belief.

Its all about personal choices. And each of us must follow where those choices take us, and its better to be true to ourselves than be false, so yeah, your risks are your own to define, and live with, for sure.

427

So many posts on here! Think I read Most of them! That's my issue, too. I've been around music most of my life and love it. I got some feedback on setting myself up if I go to a club (I'm only in day #2, so... dunno), but I feel pretty confident that I could go and not drink. Doesn't mean I'd Always feel that way, but was thinking if I told my friends that I'd have to leave if I was too tempted and they agreed to that then it would be okay. I'm new to this modality of recovery but the "AV" makes sense to me. At the same time, I really don't want to give up the music and dancing. And I've been to clubs/concerts sober and it's actually kind of entertaining to see how I must have looked when I was high! And yes, I did appreciate the music better. Last weekend when I drank a friend asked what covers the band played. "Heck if I know" was my answer! Not good. Want to keep it in my memory if it's a good band, lol!!

Anyway, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that if we can pay attention to that "voice" and "get out of dodge" when it yells or manipulates, then that's a victory. Dunno.

nycguy83

Update, well last Feb I did go to that party, and wound up drinking, completely unplanned of course but I just got a compulsion and didn't fight it. Results were pretty devastating, went on a 2 month binge, I am sober 8 months again now.

Sooo, I guess it depends on the individual, but I won't be going to any clubs/concerts/parties in the near future unless I take an antabuse first!

shockozulu

I'm glad to see you back!

anon10009

soho's new years eve sober dance is morrow night. Houston and Sullivan.

nycguy83

Thank you, I think I'm staying in this year but I'm sure it will be fun. I went to a little rooftop party summer before last, from nycypiaa or whatever the acronym is.

It was nice, but kinda made me want to go out to a "real" party, so I don't know. I think I'll wait a while before I go to any live music events. It still gives me a powerful Pavlovian response, and last Winter was way too destructive for me to tread lightly this time.

Of course the proximate cause of my trouble was that I drank, not the music or the club per se, but our environments do affect us, like someone said above.

ReadyAndAble

I think you're wise to give it time. Sounds to me like your priorities are clear enough. Maybe you could spend some time looking into new bands or searching out classics online. Just a thought.

I'm a major music fan. I waited until I was a few months sober to return to the live show scene. It was strange at first, because I was so used to drinking furiously at shows. Now I go all the time and feel right at home; I like being the dude who orders a cola and heads for the front of the stage. The shows are better now because I'm actually there for the show, not using it as an excuse to double my intake. It's also interesting to me how skewed my perceptions had been of the crowd at shows. People, in general, are drinking way less than I imagined. There are always some people who are wasted, but they're a loud and unattractive minority. Most people who drink only have one or two; shocking, I know!

Anyway, I think you're right to hunker down, take it easy on yourself right now. Plenty of time to see shows later.