Can't sleep, one of those nights.
 

One of those nights. Bored. Can't sleep. Feeling isolated. I'm over two years clean and nights like this still make me want to go do some dope. I don't know if it's the dope so much as I'd be around people and have something to do.

Before I ever drank and did drugs I was fine being on my own, I could stay home without feeling bored or lonely. I got used to always going somewhere, always doing something, always having someone around. But the only place to go at midnight or later is a bar.

Does that little pull ever go away? Will I ever just 100% not want to do drugs? It's not like I can't handle it, I'm not headed out the door to go find dope. But it's irritating, why can't I just not be interested?

Yeah, it goes away, the pull is gone. Zero pull. It will happen for you too 100%. I don't know you enough to coment on why the pull has not vaporized yet. I can suggest though that you have not yet fully detached from your apparent *interest* to be comfortable enough with your *disinterest*, okay?

Something is keeping you just a little bit unsure of whatever. Two years is significant. You have every reason to expect the pull to be gone, but sometimes we just need to examine ourselves a bit more to finish what we started when we first abstained.