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The People You DO Have to Explain Your Abstinence To



The People You DO Have to Explain Your Abstinence To

Old 03-01-2012, 12:54 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Wookie85's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
^Good point

Because alcohol had been such an All Important Big Thing in my life for so many years,I guess I assumed it was the same for everyone else...

when I quit I definitely felt I *owed* people an explanation...I used to think about what I'd say and plan it our in detail...

Of course I eventually realised I was essentially talking to myself...most people's eyes used to glaze over....

What I do or don't so is just not a big deal to a heck of a lot of people.


wow I was just talking with my therapist about this yesterday. since I've quit I noticed that I spend A LOT of time thinking hypothetically about what I'd say to certain people when pressured to drink. it seems that I've become preoccupied with it lately even though in reality I rarely have to explain myself to people because it doesn't come up that often.
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Old 03-24-2012, 06:19 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Ooh boy I can relate to this, my family is a big drinking culture as well. So if and whenever I have quit I stress out over telling them if we're to be socializing. Anymore as we get older we haven't been seeing each other as much, though as I feel better I would like to make an effort to change that. Anyway. It almost seems like they approve more if I DO drink. That it makes them uncomfortable to acknowledge drinking may be a major issue. Much less the A word. ALCOHOLIC. So I usually end up not mentioning it unless I have to and then in such a way that it's about ME and I try very hard not to cast aspersions however inadvertently. When much younger I told them they were alcoholics and needed AA, well that was an extremely bad idea though at the time I thought I was "just being honest". It's tricky! I would probably go with
taking a break for health, reevaluating my own drinking sort of a stance.
Good luck!
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Old 05-20-2012, 05:27 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2012
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I've quit drinking for very long periods in the past, and I guess I was lucky that I never had anyone ask why I wasn't drinking. I've never been much of a social drinker, so there were probably people who thought I was a teetotaler. In any case, if I'm ever offered a drink--and I'm sure I will be--I just plan on declining and not providing a reason. My friends know better than to pry ;-)
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Old 05-20-2012, 05:49 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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I say a tame version of the truth...

I got to a point where I thought I was drinking too often and too much...so I decided to take a break. At first my plan was for a one month break but that month soon doubled and doubled again an now a full year later I think I may never drink again. I don't worry too much about it and neither should you.
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Old 07-03-2012, 03:38 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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okay i'm sorry i've not read this entire thread because, i'm only here because it's been a year (+2 days, whatever) and i'm here to see how my old friends are, anyway basically what i found was that if anyone asks you to explain your abstinance, turn the tables and ask them to explain their use of alcohol - seriously, try it.

"oh debs, can i get you a champagne?"

"no thanks, i've got a water, i'm good with this"

"oh, i thought you liked a drink?"

"oh, well that's nice of you - i'm okay, now do you NEED another drink before we carry on?"


"hi debs - would you like a drink?"

"water please - do you have ice and lemon?"

"what, nothing harder - go on, we've all got some XXX"

"no, just water, i - "

"so, what - you can't even have just one glass of wine now? are you in aa?!"

"whoa, so sorry person-name - i didn't realise you had a problem. if you want to talk later, i'm here - but, for now, i'll be really fine with just water


and so on.

this isn't me being mean, it's because imo the people who are the pushiest, are the ones with the problems.
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