soberlicious

yes, yes, yes. Thanks for putting into words how I feel about "recovery". Once I put down the booze, decided that was never an option again, I was like "now what?". This journey for me the last few years hasn't been about the quitting, the quitting is done, it's about the living now. I search for things to enrich my life, make me think, help me connect with others, I challenge beliefs (my own and others)...and like you Augie, the things that have been the most transforming for me have not been specific to recovery from addiction per se. It has been like looking at the world with new eyes, but the rub is that the changes could not have come while drinking, but they have not come solely by quitting either.

AprilMay1895

Oh soberlicious and augie, you give me so much hope when you talk about sobriety like that. I've instinctually picked up on the same idea. I've always made time at night after work for my isolated drinking and if you just take that away, you have one seriously bored, depressed sober girl. lol Not a fraction as how awful it would be if I were still drinking, but if you're going to get off the sidelines of life and back into the game, you better play your heart out while you're there.

soberlicious

Right On!!
You know it's funny, when I was drinking I thought about all the great things I would do in my life. So many grand plans, endless drunken ramblings of things that never ever came to fruition. It wasn't until I quit that I began to do them. I still chase the high for sure, it's just not a chemical high now.

Louisa5073

Soberlicious and Augie -- I like that 'thoughtful recovery' and a great part of my recovery has had to do with having thoughtful and thought-provoking conversations with likeminded sober friends.

What have found in the last few years is that although my daily life didn't change very much, I was present to what was going on and so that same old life became more interesting and significant and enjoyable to me. That might be the biggest difference. Otherwise, I just bumble along.

Charon

One thing that helps keep me from drinking is admitting that I'm too old to do it anymore. It just makes me feel too lousy the next day. I gave up soccer this year (at 64 it's tough not to get hurt when playing with 50 year olds) and it sucks. But I have to admit that my body just can't take it anymore. Same with drinking. At least I can still dive. Once I can't do that anymore I will still be able to snorkel. Once that's gone it might be time to "exit stage left". I've got a lot of "bucket list" places to visit to dive and snorkel in the meantime. A lot of places in the US that I want to see as well before my legs give out completely. Those are things I couldn't do if I were drinking.

stuartp

I absolutely connect, understand, appreciate and love this sentiment. I felt this for so long but I don't think I ever could have put it into words . . . especially not as succicntly (sp?) Thank you AprilMay!

Threshold

I tried aversion therapy...didn't help me at all. My daughter, who was an outside observer at the time, pointed out that it seemed to be keeping me that much more obsessed with my DOC, since now I was also stressing over the "punishment" etc etc. And I saw she was right and dropped that.

It seems my personality tends toward positive reinforcement. There were things I truly wanted in my life, that using was keeping me from. So yes, of course the crappy bit of addiction WAS a huge incentive, IS a huge incentive, but so is the things I want out of life that active addiction was holding me back from.

I created a recovery journal, while I was still using, where I identified how addiction played out in my life. The situations that led me to using. Patterns in relationships and situations that I kept banging my head over. And things I wanted. I thought out what was going on, where I wanted to do, what I needed to shed, and what skills I needed to learn to get where I wanted to be.

Then I started working that program. One of the things I need to do is to return to that journal and read it, often. I add new insights, sometimes I edit (always keeping the original idea visible and including the date of the update) I mark in the margin if there is a particular issue I keep having trouble with.

Working towards what I want for my life rather than against something is most effective for me.

My addictions play out in many areas of my life, and many of then are not something I can stop forever and always. So for me, I had no choice but to work towards wholeness. Some people feel they can focus on cutting out a particular substance or habit, and that is enough. I saw right early on that that method would not bring me where I wanted to be.