flyawayfromhere

Well, I really am ambivalent about drinking; in fact my current plan for alcohol use is to keep drinking until I want to quit drinking again...doesn't take me long lately to get back to wanting to quit again, I'm just not there yet is all.

Terminally Unique

I must give you credit for honesty, which is often rare. I really do hope you get all the pleasure out of drinking without those pesky bad consequences, though. I was very stubborn myself, and probably nothing would "work" except what I did myself, but I also had to endure a lot of pain before I was ready. Unfortunately for some of us, pain is the classroom of recovery.

FT

Hey flyaway,

You know, a lot of us on this site are serious about using the AVRT method. I sense that you are playing some kind of game. I'm not sure with whom, but it is a real exercise in frustration for some of us reading your posts.

I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed what you are doing, but I for one do not find it entertaining.

I really hope that you find the way that works for you to quit drinking. If AVRT isn't it, then maybe one of the 12 step programs would be a better fit for you.

Just my thoughts. Maybe no one else has become frustrated by your banter.

FT

flyawayfromhere

I'm not playing some sort of game, I'm just trying to figure things out. Either AVRT doesn't work for me or I'm doing it wrong. That's all. I truly did want to quit drinking before, but now with the stress of my job kicking in, it feels like too much to tackle.

I'm not here to mess with anyone, it's just that I myself am a mess so I could see how it appears that way.

But it's great to know people think I'm an *******, certainly makes life a whole lot better.

FT

Are you drinking now? It's difficult to make clear plans when you are not lucid.

FT

freethinking

Wait, what is she doing that we should have noticed?

Yes, it can be a little frustrating or disheartening when someone who seems bright keeps drinking - but I think April shared her age once, and she is young (still in her early to mid 20s, I believe). Is there something else going on that I am missing?

My biggest concern in reading her posts here is that if she continues to use AVRT the way she has been using it that it will essentially lose all meaning and effectiveness at a time when she could really be ready.

wpainterw

Flyaway: If,as you say, "You're" not playing a game does this mean that there is no game going on? If "you're" not playing it, then "who" is? And do you really know who "you" is? Could it be that "you" are being whipsawed by your own brain? Is it really credible to imagine that you are somehow trying to "discover" your "motivation" to give up drinking? If you are an alcoholic, there are various possible ways to "discover" this. One is to have a half consumed bottle of vodka in the car and to see those blinking red lights flashing in your rear view mirror. Another is to run over someone in the road, hit a bicyclist perhaps and then be told to get out of the car and put your hands on the hood. Another is to set fire to your house and be unable to rescue a family member. Yes, there are lots and lots of ways in which to "discover" motivation. If you are an alcoholic and keep drinking you may have quite a bit of "discovery". Trouble will find an opportunity to make plenty of housecalls.

W.

flyawayfromhere

I'm not trying to make plans right now...right now I'm trying to take some time away from attacking my drinking addiction because my stress level every day is simply off the charts. I was going to walk away from this thread since TU just 1 hour or so ago helped me realize my latest attitude towards wanting to keep drinking...but then you made that comment and I felt the need to defend myself.
I've been trying to force myself to be ready to quit the addiction but it isn't working. There are a million reasons I want to quit but I don't seem to have what it takes and don't know what that might be to actually leave it for good.

FT

My biggest concern April that you are NOT using AVRT but are under the misconception that you are using it.

Everyone: I certainly do not want to deter anyone who is actually here asking for help. Personally, it seems to me that April needs someone to call her on what she is doing. Not to decrease the frustration of readers like me, but to actually help not JUST her but every person reading this thread and hoping to find an effective method for quitting drinking. And AVRT is an effective method when properly, and seriously, entertained.

That's all.

It's not my place to run this thread. However, I am taking the opportunity to give my personal opinion about what might be going on.

April, please tell us how we can help you. Seriously.

FT

Terminally Unique

You may find, as I did, that added job responsibilities do not co-exist well with ongoing alcoholic excess. Of course, at the time, my AV told me that I was just coping with the job stress, and that when the work stress lessened, I would finally be ready to cut back. I was a very slow learner, though, fully in the grip of my Addictive Voice.

freethinking

Well, in all honesty (and I hate to keep bringing it up), but you are young and there's a reason many of us did not get sober in our 20s (and yes, I know there are many who have - but it's certainly not the norm, especially with AVRT). Most of us didn't understand enough about life and ourselves and the true consequences of our drinking to truly want to stop.

Honestly, if it were me and I were your age, I'd either make a decision to sh*t or get off the pot here. And if you are going to keep drinking, don't torture yourself by coming here. And finally, whatever you do - stay honest. I like that about you!

FT

I'm not entirely sure that I know what "the norm" is.

I'm also not sure what "especially with AVRT" means. What I do know is that all the studies show that the recidivism rates are dismal in organized programs, and evidently that is largely because people quit going to them.

Actually, I see AVRT as an extremely good fit for young, highly intelligent people like April. An even better fit than organized programs, since young, highly intelligent people are often the least likely to become regimented into anything that requires even a little bit more of their time.

Again, my opinion.

FT

Terminally Unique

I don't know what might convince you to quit, either, nor could I, but I will say that you do have what it takes to quit, if that is what you want. You may not believe it at the moment, but I have full faith in your own capacity to recover. You are certainly welcome to keep posting, but understand that I may keep rattling your Beast.

Nothing personal, just the nature of the AVRT game.

SunshineSally

April, no one can coerce you to stop, but I for one (and I'm sure many others here) care about you and hope you choose to soon. You're younger than my "kids," and like them, you have your whole life ahead of you. It could be wonderful. It doesn't have to be ordinary, but it's best sober. You'll live with life's ups and downs and grow from them rather than be reeling (literally. Read Carr's book. I loved it. When you're ready, you're ready, and you'll have the tools you need.

freethinking

"Norm" referring to age. Don't think it is early to mid 20s in terms of getting sober.

"Especially with AVRT" referring to the fact that I think most people are probably a little bit older who find this and get it. It's so incredibly simple that I could see how it would be hard for someone who is thoughtful/searching and still in their 20s.

FT

April,

Just a word here.

I have sons your age, both of whom have hugely stressful lives, and both of whom decided to make the independent decision to stop their own personal substance abuse.

You sound so accomplished in your life, and I sense that alcohol is creating a lot of turmoil in your life, in and of itself. I know there is nothing I can say that will cause you to put down the alcohol. That has to come from you.

I just wanted you to know that I hope you continue to come here and get the support you need to do this. AVRT is a fantastic way to quit drinking. I quit drinking over 20 years ago before I knew anything about this method, and I am here to tell you that it works. I did pretty much what AVRT does, and I know that making the decision never to drink again is not just possible, but enhances your life in ways you can't even imagine where you are sitting today.

Good luck. I didn't mean to derail your posts. And I don't think you are an *******.

FT

Terminally Unique

I don't know that age is necessarily a defining factor, but yes, one of the drawbacks of AVRT is that it is perhaps too simple compared to other approaches. The initial learning curve can be a bit steep as a result of having to unlearn some "traditional" concepts, but it does quickly build momentum, and then you end up thinking "why didn't I figure this out sooner?"

kanamit

Firstly, age has nothing to do with (I'm probably slightly older than you, April). Just as everyone who knows the value of 0–9 and +-/* arrives at the same result when performing a simple equation (E.g. 1 + 6 = 7) everyone who understands the simple tenets of AVRT arrives as the same result: life-long, planned abstinence. Anyone savvy enough to post a message to this board meets the requirements to succeed.

Secondly, you're drinking to relieve a problem that alcohol created (more on this in the Allen Carr book). Trust me, while you drink to relieve stress at work you have two problems, not one. When your body is perpetually poisoned even something trivial seems stressful. When you feel fit and healthy a high-powered job is a challenge, not a stress.

The Beast is a world-class procrastinator and will latch onto anything that can delay quitting even by a day. Trust me, I've fallen for that trick more times than I care to remember.

My advice would be to read the Allen Carr book. If it resonates with you, you should feel a lot more positive about it. Use EasyWay as your rationale for a Big Plan. Then make it now-that's the only time you can quit.

freethinking

Sorry, but sometimes things are not that simple. There is intelligence in terms of knowing how to add, subtract, etc and then there is emotional intelligence that I know only age can bring. I know it's an unpopular opinion but I think it's realistic. But I certainly believe anyone can get this and do it who really wants to stop drinking.

Terminally Unique

The last two chapters of Allen Carr's book have some obvious parallels with elementary AVRT, though I am not sure if he was aware of AVRT when he wrote the book. It would not surprise me if Allen Carr figured it out on his own, though, since AVRT has been around for centuries. It just was not written down and codified, although it is implicit in many faiths. Either way, I do agree that Carr's book may resonate with some people who are on the fence, and since his book is also technically written in the spirit of self-recovery, it will stay on my recommended reading list.