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Sorta OT: Negative thoughts and sarcasm

Old 09-29-2011, 06:19 AM
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Sorta OT: Negative thoughts and sarcasm

I've always been a little sarcastic, but when I was doing drugs- and as a result I was really negative about everything, starting with myself and everyone around me- it got really bad. I guess it's sort of a security blanket at this point? There are people who I am more sarcastic around, usually people who have criticized me in the past and particularly when I've been honest with someone and whatever I said was criticized or met with a sarcastic remark. It's likely with some of them that they said something honest to me once, and it made me uncomfortable so I popped off one of those semi-witty zingers of mine, and now who can blame them for being uncomfortable replying honestly to me? And some of these people have done stuff I just plain resent, and maybe my sarcasm with them is basically because I'm still mad about something. How passive-aggressive of me!

Sometimes if I'm just bsing with friends a little zinger is ok, we're just joking around after all. But it's constant with me. Plus... aren't there more intelligent ways to joke around? There must be! But then I watch late-night talk shows and ZOMG the monologue is really just a string of sarcastic comments.

So I'd like to stop that, but... my goodness how hard it is. I don't even realize I'm doing it until I'm halfway through it, and by then the damage is done. With the people who have hurt me in the past (I feel like such a whiner saying stuff like that, but it's still true) I feel like I have a couple choices: if it's not that big of a deal, I should let it go. If I can't let it go I need to decide whether I should bring it up with that person (in a friendly manner) or just move that friendship 'to the back burner.'

I kinda feel like if I were a little more successful at thinking positively it might be a little easier for me. So I am working on that, too. I used to be so optimistic, but in a way I feel like I've seen the other side of people now, directly as a result of drinking and drugging. And it's a lot harder to be optimistic now; I can't unsee that stuff.

That will be the last time you see me use ZOMG. :P
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Old 09-29-2011, 10:29 AM
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I had to google the ZOMG

I am somewhat sarcastic. It was at its worst in my late teens and most of my 20's. But it was pointed out to me that as witty as I thought I was, it was a defense mechanism and pretty off-putting. And, looking back, a lot of my sarcastic quips were not all that witty at all. I kind of cringe when I see people worse than me, because I realize what I used to look like...too insecure to let her guard down.

It's still a work in progress, especially with my husband.
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Old 09-29-2011, 01:48 PM
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I don't feel this is off topic at all. How we feel and react is an important part of our recovery, so don't underestimate it. I have a roommate who gets sarcastic and when she does I want to run away, instead I just go to the other room.

Usually its a defense mechanism and I just let it slide.
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gneiss (09-29-2011)
Old 10-01-2011, 05:13 PM
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It think it is best to try and not use sarcasm at all.
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Old 10-01-2011, 06:10 PM
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I find it is hard for me too gneiss...I can have a sharp tongue and I don't like it when I do it. It's a habit and, just like any other, can be broken...but it seems to be my "go to" defense mechanism in the heat of the moment

I am like you with the BSing with my friends...that doesn't bother me when I do that, but when I'm using it to hurt...not good.
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Old 10-01-2011, 06:52 PM
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The fact that you are aware of this is a great start as far as trying to change, if you are trying to change.
I had to learn to curb my tongue the hard way, getting my head bashed and some punches to the gut and neck for good measure. It worked, but I would not recommend this route. There are easier ways!

I guess just try to treat your friends and family (and strangers!) with the utmost respect and kindness. Try it, you might like it!

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
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