Terminally Unique

I can't speak for others, or for the rules on this forum, but I don't mind your debates, Boleo. Admittedly, your posts did once annoy the heck out of me, but I've come to see that you can hold your own, which is unusual. I would wager that not many of the "secularists" could hold their own in the 12-Step forum, for example. For the record, though, I don't subscribe to epistemological solipsism; I consider myself a materialist *.

* not to be confused with "materialistic" in the economic or monetary sense by those without a philosophic bent.

Murray4x5

Exactly.

I would say that if alcohol is troubling somebody's life enough that they have to search out an Internet forum on the subject, they are at least an entry level alcoholic. Some here may be new alcoholics, some may be holding their lives together but alcohol has had a distinct negative impact on their and their families lives, some may have lost all they once held dear, and some are near death when they join SR.

We are one and all, alcoholics, but have come here at different points along that one-way downward slope. It's as confusing to me as racism when one alcoholic can tell somebody they aren't a "real alcoholic" just because they didn't get as far down slope as they did.

Murray4x5

I'm an atheist leaning agnostic (secular humanist) who's sensitive to animistic whisperings

Terminally Unique

I would think the idea is to try and prevent others from getting as far down the slope unnecessarily...

Zencat

I in the quote above, just replace the words 'Alcoholism Forum' to 'Secular Connections Forum'. Follow the suggested guidelines, as I will try by best to do and things can be much cooler in the secular zone

Zencat

I disagree, you appear to me as a very epistemological solipsism type of person. You'll fit in just fine .

Soberpotamus

Boleo... you are welcome here as far as I can tell. All are. That's the big difference in a Secular thread and a non-secular thread... we don't push people out or censor. Even if we disagree. Censorship is a flat out crime and abomination... to the individual.

raindancer11

I must not be secular enough either since I had to look up what that means. lol

Seriously, I enjoy reading your posts Boleo. Stay and keep posting.

AnthonyV

Personally, I don't care if someone thinks that I'm not/wasn't a "real alcoholic". In fact, I reject that label. There is no DSM, APA or AMS diagnosis of "alcoholic", that term is a created label made popular by a program that I am not a member of. The fact is that I had dysfunctional beliefs, maladaptive behaviors and a destructive relationship with alcohol and I was diagnosed by a medical doctor as alcohol dependent. All past tense. I am now seven months sober, involved with SMART Recovery and happily looking at a future without alcohol being an all consuming part of it.

DoubtfulDebs

^ that.

and yet it seems to have them - this one says '12 step programs are off topic for this forum', for example.

probably because we all bring different stuff to the table and when we are fully invested in one method of recovery, we don't need to hear people who are 100% vested in a different one with opposing views telling us we're wrong, no matter how much they may believe that to be the truth.

it's not helpful, not supportive, and under the right (or wrong) circumstances could be damaging, or even deadly. it's also kinda petty...

going back to the original topic, the psychological (or maybe more behavioural?) tip that's working best for me right now is to distract myself in a positive way when something stirs up my addictive voice/'beast' (i'm assuming many of you know the terminology of avrt) - this stops me falling into the trap of arguing with it, which i would lose because its a mindless thing that exists for only one purpose.

i did that today when the idea of a relaxed glass of wine (my poison of choice) with lunch looked appealing (backed up with 'you've been so good now' etc!), so i bought a novel and read that instead - not earthbreaking but within 10 mintutes i was into the story and because i can't read drunk, it killed the whole temptation of 'relaxing' ie lossening my grip on clear-headedness.

obviously this doesn't mean all we boozehounds ever had to do in the past was grab a book, whoopdidoo problem solved forever, but recognising the right distraction for the right occasion is something i've been finding helpful especially after the first 2 weeks.

anyone else do anything like this?

debs

Soberpotamus

Sure. I've been making trips to bookstores even though I buy all my books online. It's a trick I use to get out of the house, around people, and books & coffee abound... so I'm always right at home. Being drunk never stopped me from buying books... but it did stop me from reading them. I'm reading much more these days.

Also, I start celebrating my birthday a week before the actual birthdate (you never know if you'll survive until the next birthday, so I make it unapologetically self-indulgent) so this week I've been eating ice-cream and cupcakes more than usual... and just tonight I took myself shopping for clothes. I also got a haircut. So... all these things are ways to have fun, boost the self-esteem a little, and stay sober.

Terminally Unique

Too accurate. :-)

raindancer11

Happy Birthday, Jennie! A week early sounds good to me. I never celebrate mine on the actual day anymore.

Debs, I do distract myself. Sometimes, I just can't get centered enough to pay attention to my thoughts so I need to hyperfocus on something like a book or the computer.

Murray4x5

Books...that takes me back.

I graduated from high school in 1978, back when drugs were clean and sex couldn't kill you. I was getting really paranoid by 1980, felt like I was losing control, so I stopped all drugs (except the booze) cold turkey. I used to buy the biggest, most lavish books on artists who inspired me that I could find. I also started buying books to study the large format photographic techniques of Ansel Adams, Edward Weston and Minor White.

Those books lit a flame in me stronger than the pull of the drugs.

Thanks for sparking that memory

Zencat

Happy Birthday Jennie!

Soberpotamus

Thanks for the early b-day wishes, Raindancer & Zencat!

Zencat... that cupcake looks DELICIOUS!! Guess what I brought home today?? 3 different types of cupcakes... a chocolate one, a red velvet one... and 12 vanilla ones

ForwardMotion

Yum, I love cupcakes! Happy early b'day Jennie, I hope it's one of your best.

:day2