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-   -   Irked and need to vent and have nowhere to do so at 1:00 AM (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/228937-irked-need-vent-have-nowhere-do-so-1-00-am.html)

gneiss 06-08-2011 11:03 PM

Irked and need to vent and have nowhere to do so at 1:00 AM
 
I did drugs and alcohol most of the time I was working on my degree. And some of my druggie buddies were in the same major. Well lo and behold some of them are working at the same place I am now.

We are all field employees, we don't work in an office. We have a flop house where we can sleep if we want to stay there. Occasionally we're too far away or just don't feel like driving to the house so we can also stay at our work locations. A few days ago one of the guys, who I did a whole lot of dope with, called me up and asked if I wanted to hang out with him at his location. I said no thanks, I didn't have the money for it (and I didn't). Well tonight I came to the house to wash some laundry (and just for the record didn't spend a dime to get here, only gas that was already in my car). Long story short he found out I'm here. It's not like it was a state secret, I parked in the driveway. He called and said "I thought you didn't have money to go anywhere."

:react

I admit to spending way more money on him than I ever should have. Cuz dope gets expensive when you do as much as we did. But why does he think it's any of his business how I spend my money?! And why does he think he can ask me why I'm at a house I pay rent to stay at?

I guess it's an over-reaction but I'm furious about it. I don't have to justify to ANYONE where one penny of my money goes, one drop of the fuel in my car, or one second of my time. If I wanted that I could have stayed in a relationship with the manipulative b@stard I was dating all the time I was doing dope.

I haven't been this mad in a long time. The guys left beer and wine in the fridge, and I'll admit I could definitely see myself grabbing a beer and chugging it. Or downing the entire bottle of wine. It's amazing to me that I still have that reaction occasionally. When I got mad in my drinking days I'd guzzle down a 6-pack to calm down. Deep breath, and be glad I don't have to do that to myself anymore.

Dee74 06-08-2011 11:15 PM

It's none of his business B, you're right.
It's nice to be able to bypass that stupid first impulse these days, isn't it?


D

gneiss 06-09-2011 04:36 AM

Thanks Dee. It feels really good to look at that wine and beer and think, "I'm good." I was mad, still kinda am, but it's nice that I don't feel like punishing my liver because I'm mad at some jerk. :)

And thanks, it might be a little shallow but it's good to hear I'm right, even though I knew that anyway. LOL

LaFemme 06-09-2011 09:27 AM

You are right:)

It's no one's business how you spend your time and money.

vent here all you like:)

AnthonyV 06-09-2011 10:29 AM

Sounds like you need to have a "It's not me, it's you" talk with this "buddy".

Murray4x5 06-09-2011 03:45 PM

Way to go. You have no one to answer to but yourself.

gneiss 06-09-2011 10:24 PM

Thanks.

Anthony, I backed away from this guy a while ago, before i ever took the job, I'm not really sure why he called unless of course it was to see if I would party with him. I've come to the conclusion that the job situation in this area for my industry will always keep me around someone I did dope with. I've also quit drinking my company's Kool Aid and think it may be time for both a job change and a change of scenery. Might take a while for that to happen but I'm starting to consider my options.

recycle 06-12-2011 07:18 AM

Well lets see? Young, single, intelligent, hardworking, educated, and sober - gniess, the world is pretty much your oyster as far as a job/scenery change goes.

The guy was probably miffed that you gave him a BS excuse for not hanging with him? Maybe you are pissed for not telling him you don't hang with people you used to get high with? I dunno, that is a total guess. I find when I get angry these days, I have some part in it, and it usually pays to figure out why I let that person push my button.

Good luck gniess.

gneiss 06-12-2011 05:17 PM


Originally Posted by recycle (Post 2997926)
The guy was probably miffed that you gave him a BS excuse for not hanging with him? Maybe you are pissed for not telling him you don't hang with people you used to get high with? I dunno, that is a total guess. I find when I get angry these days, I have some part in it, and it usually pays to figure out why I let that person push my button.

Good luck gniess.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner. Indeed, there are times when I need to grow a spine. This is one of them, for sure. I always just say no thanks and hope eventually they'll get the point. And of course sometimes they don't. Thanks for pointing this out, recycle.

And thanks for the kind words.


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