lillyknitting

Am beginning to think and feel staying sober really is a constant vigil. Here I am on a Saturday evening, with my two wonderful doggies, so am not alone. Now if I were my old drinking lifestyle, I could so easily "pop" out to a friend with a bottle or two and quite easily sit and drink the evening away, thoughts came to me to do this. But NO, I really want to stop drinking so am actually thinking this evening through to the end. It would start off lovely, nice glass wine, etc etc, then I would DEFINITELY end up blasted, drive home drunk, inevitably get home and put the music on full blast and drink more, party on (by myself, how sad!!!) and wake up with the resulting all day hangover. So, went to supermarket instead and bought CHOCOLATE (he he he!!!) better than wine lol. Any comments please x

LaFemme

Hey lily!

What are you doing in addition to not drinking? At first I was at a bit of a loss how to live without alcohol but now my life is really great and I don't feel I need to maintain a constant vigil.

I did put a lot of work into my sobriety in my first months.

lillyknitting

Hi LaFemme, thanks for your reply. I feel a lot of my thoughts about drinking are deep-seated habit of alcoholic drinking over 30 years. I do attend AA but find it limiting for me. The 12 steps are OK by I think quite religeous even though they say they are not, all the talk of God, Higher Power and handing stuff over, I just cannot get it. So, after reading Allen Carr's book on How to Control Alcohol, which I found a complete revelation to me, I have now decided to book into one of his clincs and see if that does the trick once and for all.

LaFemme

Allan Carr was a huge help to me! I not only quit after reading but I have no desire to drink again and I don't wish I could. I go to functions (mostly work) where there is booze everywhere and the only thought I might have is relief I don't drink the stuff.

It can get better!

Xoxo.

Btw...I think 12 step programs wont work with carrs method.

onlythetruth

I think of it this way.

Sobriety is essentially a change process. We go from point A, where we are drinking alcoholically, to point B, where we are comfortable in sobriety.

When we are at point A, we are, if not exactly comfortable, at least used to living our lives in a certain way. At point B we are comfortable with our non-drinking lifestyle, and have no trouble maintaining it.

The space between point A and point B is where the difficulty comes in. There is a distance to travel and most of us find life during that journey very difficult, especially at the beginning. Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that sobriety is always going to be and feel like the first few steps of the journey between point A and point B, and this scares us into going right back to point A.

But the reality is that we DO get to point B if we hang in there. I am not suggesting that point B is a bed of roses; it is still life, and life itself can be difficult at times--still, the discomfort of transitioning from one lifestyle to another does end.

So don't get sidetracked into thinking that you will always be this uncomfortable. You won't, but you've got to keep moving towards point B.

OTT

Supercrew

I agree 100% OnlyTT, the only difference is A to B might be a little to simple. I see my self as an A to D kind of guy. B would have been when I was trying to quit but didn't think I was an alcoholic, C was whn I realize I was an alcoholic but was having a real hard time quitting, then D I accepted the fact, quit drinking and I'm happy about it.

If you read the forum long enough you will see some people that have to go from A to J, but most of them have trouble their "I".