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-   -   What are some positive things you do to maintain your recovery?? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/225070-what-some-positive-things-you-do-maintain-your-recovery.html)

tyler 04-19-2011 09:12 AM

What are some positive things you do to maintain your recovery??
 
Making myself do things I don't want to do. It can be just about anything from making myself go to the gym when I really don't feel like it to doing chores around the house. How about everyone else?

Supercrew 04-19-2011 11:06 AM

I have become a happier more positive person. Once I realized that my happiness has to happen first in my mind then it happens in the real world for me. Also I have been really able to quit worrying about things because by worrying I am actually concentrating on what I don't want, which will evoke a negative outcome. I realize if I can keep my thoughts simple and focused, and I take deliberate action my thoughts become realities.

Basically maintaining my recovery has helped me become positive because I don't look at it like it's a chore. And a majority of my recovery now is just abstaining from drinking. Once I became OK with the idea of never drinking again everything else falls into place.

LaFemme 04-19-2011 11:12 AM

When I first got sober I really had to force myself to do stuff. I kind of had the attitude of doing something new and positive every day. At first they were small things like brush my hair, do the dishes, do laundry before there is no clean clothes left in the house.

The more solid I got the bigger the things got and the easier it became....start painting again....try new materials...color my hair...fix the holes in my socks.


Now I am training for a Marathon, have a studio that supports itself, redecorated the house, doing a landscaping project in my front yard, getting my finances in order. etc., etc.

If I had tried to do these things when I first got sober I would have been completely overwhelmed and not even tried and probably been so disheartened I might have crawled back into a bottle. So give yourself small, manageable goals. Get some confidence from them then go on to the next level...pretty soon you will be achieving things that might be unthinkable today:)

Scolova 04-19-2011 12:01 PM

We bought some hanging strawberry and cherry tomato plants that are already producing fruit, also two tomato plants I have in large pots and starting to bloom. I don't like tending to a lot of plants, but I do enjoy having some around. I have also been taking our dog for daily walks, I try to walk a bit further each outing, I try to work on my abdominal muscles by tightening and relaxing them as I walk, but I need to get back to exercises like squats, leg-lifts, push-ups and the punching-bag. I am just getting over a pinched nerve in my upper back that went down my right arm and am ready to start a good exercise regiment, I also need to get some sort of a job (part-time would be good for now), I need to get back out 'there'.. :)

recycle 04-19-2011 12:58 PM

I focus on doing things I want to. When there are things I should do that I don’t want to, I look into why that is: Is it something I should do, or is it something somebody else thinks I should do? What are the consequences of not doing it? Do those consequences make me want to do it?

I am just not very good at doing things I don’t want to do. Never have been, being sober does not change that much, if at all. It might even have made it worse. Life is too short to struggle with stuff. And it is way to short not to be honest about it.

Kjell 04-19-2011 01:03 PM

Hi Tyler-

It's been a while since I've seen you on here. I hope you're doing well.

Man, just about everything I used to do from going to bars and going to parties to taking walks, cleaning the house, watching tv (etc...) usually involved alcohol or drugs :)

Almost everything I'm doing now, sober, is something new and most of the time I don't want to do it.

Cleaning the house was just more fun with a joint and Dave playing on my Ipod :)

Learning, just like you, how to do it sober and enjoy (or endure) it.

Kjell~

franie 04-19-2011 01:21 PM

Well - cleaning the house for a start, catching up on the friends I had ignored for months, making peace with my daughters and husband. But most of all taking care of myself.

luckedog 04-19-2011 01:55 PM

Tyler, Supercrew, LaFemme, Recycle; I think you guys hit the nail on the head when you spoke of changing thoughts and actions. I believe both our thought processes and our actions must change into our sober way of thinking. Sometimes the “beast” is within our own minds that keeps us continually thinking along the alcoholic mindset. Other times the things we do and the places we hang out destroy our will to continue our sobriety.
In my humble opinion, the thought processes that we allow to enter our “alcoholic” minds is the most damaging to our complete recovery. It keeps dragging us back to a place in time that we don’t want to be. It convinces us that all is well in that area because we are numb to feelings of responsibility, our family our jobs: the most important things in our lives. Breaking that thought process and destroying the “beast” that leads us to think that way is one of the greatest victories that we will encounter.
Changing things – habits, places we go – that lead us to a life of drunkenness can only be harmful. We all know this, so removing those habits are just a matter of our will. If you hit yourself in the head with a hammer, it hurts. The sensible scenario would be “stop hitting yourself in the head with the hammer”. That does not take a great deal of common sense or even will power. It’s just what we do to lessen the pain. The same thing is true with drinking. How many times do you drink that a good result occurs? In my experience – not very many. So it would seem to me, that the physical changes that need to be made are just a matter of common sense If you do something that hurts you – QUIT IT!
In 1972, I was a 2 to 3 pack smoker + marijuana. I woke up gagging and coughing every morning, I smoked all day and the last thing I did before I went to bed was smoke, and although when anybody told me I could not see the end result of all the smoking – In 1992, something very traumatic happened in my life and in order to remember and mark that incident I swore I would never smoke another cigarette. In 29 years, I have never again smoked a cigarette, although tempted on several occasions. As of now, smoking cigarettes does not even enter my conscious mind. I swore that day that I would never smoke another and have been successful in that endeavor for over 15 years.
If you think you can, or if you think you want to, there is nothing that stands between you and your addiction except your addictive mind set and realize please that that can be changed by training your mind not to think that way anymore, Sorry this has been a long post, but I seldom reveal my true feelings to people in general. If you are in my same situation, please understand that there is help for you in many of the programs that are mentioned on this site. SMART Recovery, AA are some that have been helpful to me, although I use many other programs to help keep me sober. If you don’t have a plan, you will fail. Please put something in place to help you. Love Lucke “Feel free to pm me anytime that I can be of any help to you.”

luckedog 04-19-2011 02:31 PM

OK let me get sentimental for just A minute: I can’t express how much love & appreciation I Feel toward those of you that have helped me get to where I am now! I can’t name you by name, because I’m afraid I’ll miss one of you!
Being able to express myself to you and read your responses has been the most important step for me in order to achieve sobriety. I have never been one that expressed my true feelings easily, especially to people I don’t know personally. However, I have gotten to know many of you through the months and years that I have been posting here and you feel very much as close as family. Just wanted to say thank you for your non-judgmental, compassionate responses. (And occasional rebukes you have given me.) They have all been appreciated and taken in the spirit in which they were given.
From an old, farm boy, redneck, I love you all and want you to know you can count on me anytime you need. “If you ever get through Oklahoma , and want to take a horse or buggy ride through 1500 acres of land let me know and I’ll make it happen.”

recycle 04-19-2011 08:42 PM


Originally Posted by luckedog (Post 2940482)
From an old, farm boy, redneck, I love you all and want you to know you can count on me anytime you need.

A while back I asked what is secular spirituality. Luckedog as a fine answer here. Having the courage to say what is in your heart, and a humble desire to be of service. Beautiful, thanks Dawg.

azureseas 04-19-2011 09:03 PM

Good question Tyler. I am reading a lot about alcoholism including biographies (which I am really enjoying), also looking up stuff on line and reading here.

Like SuperCrew I am just plain happier, I don't want to go back to drinking. It did take me a good 2 decades to come to this conclusion.

I can feel that my motivation is returning to do something creatively fulfilling but I'm really tired after work and don't have the energy at the moment. Its still early days (day 36).
I admire your energy to hit the gym, that's another thing I would like to work on

shockozulu 04-20-2011 12:33 PM

The last few years of using, I stopped reading. This was one of my favorite recreational habits. I finally picked up my books and have been reading again. How much I missed the last few years.

azureseas, have you read Augusten Burroughs's Dry? Its one of the best books on drinking and recovery I ever read.

azureseas 04-20-2011 06:54 PM

ooh no haven't heard of that book, thanks shockozulu, it sounds really good
I too had lost interest in reading while I was drinking, have a huge stack of books lined up now. Just got out A Million Little Pieces from the library, didn't realize it was about recovery when there was all the ruckus about it in the media

shockozulu 04-21-2011 01:29 AM


Originally Posted by azureseas (Post 2942003)
ooh no haven't heard of that book, thanks shockozulu, it sounds really good
I too had lost interest in reading while I was drinking, have a huge stack of books lined up now. Just got out A Million Little Pieces from the library, didn't realize it was about recovery when there was all the ruckus about it in the media

Dry was written by the same man who wrote the memoir Running with Scissors. As much as I liked the first book, Dry was that much better.

I have a copy of A Million Little Pieces and read it after the whole issue about him "faking it". I still found it very interesting as he chose a secular road of recovery.


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