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-   -   A Thought for myself (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/223624-thought-myself.html)

LaFemme 03-31-2011 07:48 PM

A Thought for myself
 
I am on the 10:22 home after a gallery opening tour of Chelsea and dinner and drinks with an out of town work collegeau at a posh NYC eatery..after a full day of work in both real estate and art. I have been running nonstop since I got out of my sickbeds 2 weeks ago. I had hoped to take tomorrow off but can't. I will work in thestudio all weekend. Then start again.

One of the key components to my recovery is self love...which means self care. This is not what I am doing...obviously. I Do not want to push myself to a breaking point I cannot control. I need to get to work on a plan.

This thread is to hold me accountable.

recycle 03-31-2011 09:02 PM

How can we help?

- I could send you snotty PM's if I catch you on SR past midnight?

- It has been a while since we sacrificed a goat?

Let us know.

Impurrfect 03-31-2011 09:12 PM

(((LaFemme))) - I've had a really hard time at the "self care" thing, myself. Usually I work myself until my body says "enough" and I get sick, and CAN'T work (or study, as I'm in school).

I've been working at it, have an erratic schedule, so having a regular sleep schedule isn't really possible. Even making myself eat, more than once a day, has been hard, but I'm trying. I'm thinking of putting up neon sticky notes:)

Not to hijack your thread, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

luckedog 03-31-2011 09:34 PM

recycle, Lets do the goat thing again-worked last time!
LF, slow down, take A deep breath and tell me what is more important than your sobriety? You MUST take care of yourself. No one else can! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Creekryder 03-31-2011 10:33 PM

I was just thinking today, LF, about taking my sobriety to a new level by getting off my duff and getting physical. Hopefully, after the hospital thing tomorrow with my daughter, I can refocus on taking a bit better care of myself.
Maybe we all could try something simple at first, such as a daily 15-30 min walk, or a 30 min yoga session, and top it off with a good night's rest. How about an April 1st commitment for a solid week and then post how we feel after that first week?
Let's give it a shot...who's up for it?

LaFemme 04-01-2011 07:55 AM

Thanks guys! I like the goat sacrifice idea:)

Creek...exercise has been a big factor in my recovery...I run 24 miles a week. I know it makes my body feel stronger and healthier.

Luckedog....nothing is more important than my sobriety, which is why I am concerned...I don't want to head towards a breakdown...but I am stuck at an impasse right now and don't see a way forward:( I need to talk to my coach o. Sunday about this I think...but all suggestions are welcome.

Amy...I also sometimes don't havetime to eat...and when that happens I often end up eating something I shouldn't.

I was so frustrated I cried when I got home last night...this is a good thing because I have a tendency to bottle up emotions like a good Northerner.

recycle 04-01-2011 08:34 AM

http://www.hablaba.com/blog/uploaded...ght-760762.jpg

Get through this thing LaF, and then look back and see how you got here. In the meantime I have conjured a goat protector for you instead of a sacrifice. (I am kinda getting into the whole non-violence thing. Besides I like goats more than most people.)

Stimmed 04-01-2011 09:21 AM

Yeah would like too help also Lf.

I know a guy who is abit of a... dunno he just likes old stuff... whats the word f them?
Anyhow! im chattin to him one day and he says, its my gf birthday comin up and dont know what tget her... heh.
He says she wants a 'goat!' to take up the allotment. (this dude wore clogs with tyres nailed to em, salt of the earth tho he was.
Heh i said, oh yeah, would she like that for a birthday present you think?
Yeah she's proper into animals and stuff and she likes it up at the allotment, and the goat could eat the grass!
Ok cool get her that then!

He tells me a couple o weeeks later that when up at the allotment, some other guy came up with his dog, big rowdy Rottweiler, proper big lad.
Heh so this goat is numbed out of our way of things just chewing the cud and this big dawg comes bounding up shouting the odds!
Heh, goat looks at dog and hinds up cool as you like and comes down full juice square on Rottys head!

Heh dont think it relates that much, but just popt in there.
I like the posts around here and secular support, i get the jist you Arty.
Have drawn prob since before i was allowed!

I dont know what to say to Arty folk, except... down time is a new perspective.

LaFemme 04-01-2011 03:22 PM

Its been a rough month (march) for me so I am starting April right by skipping tonight's run and going to be early. I'm going to pick up a premade dinner at the local gourmet grocery...then crawl into bed with a good book and lights out by 9:30 or so.

azureseas 04-01-2011 09:28 PM

LaFemme that is impressive! (the 24 miles, not the over working).
So you really do feel that exercise has made a difference for you. How did you get started? I feel stuck in this area. I was thinking this is the next step I would like to take in recovery.
I see there is another area called Fitness, Health and Nutrition in the Special Interest Section.

Supercrew 04-01-2011 09:40 PM

Hi Azureseas,

Yes there is a health and fitness section. I have made physical fitness a major staple of my recovery. How did I start? Well I have always been active, but I started by walking my dog twice a day, a couple miles in AM before work and then when I got home before or after dinner. Then I quicken the pace and started jogging.

I am not a fan of gyms, and I was out of shape when I started so I got a couple fitness videos, yoga, cardio kickboxing, weight training, and started to do something for about 20 minutes everyday aside from the walking. Once I felt I was ready I bought another set of videos, (P90X), this was more advanced, and I couldn't accomplish them right away, but I kept trying a little more day after day. I have lost closed to 25 lbs, and I look better than I have in 15 years. Plus it tires me out so I sleep well, and it also works as an appetite supressant for some people.

All you have to do is buy a video, or go online and find a workout program, or go to the gym and get a trainer, or just start walking. It does wonders for me and keeps me happy and healthy!

Sorry for the highjack LF.:)

LaFemme 04-01-2011 11:22 PM

I actually started much the same as Supercrew....taking the dogs for a walk and then doing little bits of running while walking. I now do little bits of walking with My running:) I think the key is find something you like doing then its easier to stick with.

There is a thread in the fitness section called "kicking asphalt" its a good place to go for inspiration:)

Artoro 04-02-2011 06:06 AM

Two things that I find very helpful are
a) a short walk every day to help clear the mind
b) taking Sundays off. No work, no workout, no appointments, meetings or obligations. Just to chill out and do what I want to do.

Zencat 04-02-2011 07:22 AM

Yea...self-care means making sacrifices. Its hard to cut out stuff that one has an obligation to do. Especially when there is a feeling that everything is an obligation.

luckedog 04-02-2011 09:45 AM

Sorry, recycle, I didn’t know you had a change of heart!

I lovingly cut his throat split him in-two . He is roasting and resting quietly on the burning alter.( I sometimes call it my grill )

A little BB-Q sauce and some fries and Ice tea—“Lunch anyone”?

LaFemme 04-02-2011 06:19 PM

Lol lucke...save some for me;)

Its hard for me to cut stuff out because the only thing I want to cut out is the one thing I can't cut out (the day job in the city...about 45-50 hours a week with commute). I wont ever be able to transfer to art full time if I don't work on it every weekend...I have commissions coming in and need to keep up momentum.

Supercrew 04-02-2011 06:41 PM

ABC...Always be closing!:)

LaFemme 04-03-2011 07:27 PM

Had a fantastic session with my amazing coach tonight. Realized I have spent the past 7 months cleansing my pysche...now its time to fill it up with positive thought patterns:) its not enough to get rid of the self hatred and negative thinking....I need to define for myself what I want to fill my life with:)

LaFemme 04-03-2011 07:29 PM

I can't just say I want a happy life filled with love I have to figure out what "happy" and " love" look like!

Pete55 04-04-2011 12:09 AM

Illustrations of Love what it may look like.
 

Ancient Greek
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.

Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

Eros (ἔρως érōs) (from the Greek deity Eros) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."

Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."

Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.
There is one other definition, it's since been omitted from the Google search,
the regeneration of vegetation through out the planet and beyond. At that point the ancient philosophers admitted that this is as far as they can describe "love" and be in sync with life's perpetual survival.


In religion, it is often confused and distorted if some of the above illustrations are taken into account.
By having read some of these illustrations, the one that suits are,
"regeneration of vegetation" and the other where it says, The host
( Creator ) fed and provided quarters for the guest, ( mankind ) who was expected to repay only with gratitude.

LaFemme 04-04-2011 03:01 AM

Interesting information Pete...thanks!

Makes me wonder about the bible which was translated from greek....love is one of the most commonly used words in the bible...hmmmmm:)

Pete55 04-04-2011 03:53 AM

What little I know about the translations and not having done a Bible study,
( and I don't want to) the New Testament was written in Greek and Hebrew, I think.
The way I see it, it was later translated in Latin,(Catholics) then they argued, or protested ( Protestants ), it seems they are still arguing over the translations. Then logic would assume to say, why not go back to the original and start again?

All around the places, "God is Love", "God Loves you" and blah blah blah.

Well, love life, does not mean have to like it.
Simplified, I Love the taste of wine, but don't like what it does to me.
Baffling.

LaFemme 04-04-2011 10:56 AM

So I looked it up and the love that is used in the Greek, at least in Corinthians 1 ( personal favorite) is Agape....very interesting.

My LC gave me an exercise for the week...everyday define "Love"...Today's thought is that "Love is forgiveness".:)

I don't love wine...I despise it...the smell makes me ill today, thankfully!

LaFemme 04-05-2011 09:22 AM

Today's thought...

Love is understanding without judgment....thanks to Sargent for reminding me of this:)

LaFemme 04-05-2011 06:07 PM

Fitting in And being normal.

I was at a broker cocktail party tonight. What few women there were polished and professional, a little on the conservative side. The men were invariably white.

I'm white and I can do polished if I Have to....but maybe not polished and conservative at least not anymore....you see I stand out..I'm tall 5'11" in my bare feet ...my hair is long and red and a little out of control...I have a prominent nose. I spent most of my life trying to minimize these things.

I first realized I was different in kindergarten...my Mom wasn't American and my Dad was from the Bronx ...this in a town that is famous for being populated by old new England wasps...I joke about the breeding program here...lol. and I was different.

I was awkward with my classmates...unsure of my place...when I got to college I found that drinking helped me feel comfortable and fit in.

This is fairly common here on SR ...what troubles me is the constant stream of people wanting to be "normal"...and I think this goes beyond just drinking normally. It is the lack of accepting our uniqueness and wanting to fit in.

Only in embracing our being different can we ever embrace our sobriety.

I stand in the raw unfinished space of the eighth floor at the brokers party....I look at the suits, the expensive coiffures, the polished expressions ...I know how to play this role...I used to do it well. I no longer wish to.

I am different. I am sober. I am me.

Dee74 04-05-2011 06:12 PM

We could be twins T - except I'd be Danny DeVito...I'm about 5 ft 5 LOL.

I'm glad you're you and even gladder that you embrace that :)

D

LaFemme 04-05-2011 06:15 PM

Hugs D....we could remake the movie;)

I'm glad you are you:)

Dee74 04-05-2011 06:24 PM

even when I pull posts? LOL

D

Artoro 04-06-2011 08:17 AM

Thumbs up for a remake!

Talking of remakes have you seen the movie Be Kind Rewind with Jack Black and Mos Def where they start to remake all kinds of films like Ghostbusters, Robocop, Rush Hour 2 and Driving Miss Daisy and call the process Sweding. Maybe you could Swede Twins? :)

(don't know why I wrote this, but when you're sitting in a library trying to study, the mind tends to wander off :))

LaFemme 04-06-2011 02:38 PM

Lol...have not seen that movie.

Dee you have not pulled a post of mine in a long time:)


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