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I need a twelve step alternative...

Old 02-17-2011, 10:49 AM
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I need a twelve step alternative...

Any suggestions on which one I should try? 12 step programs are not for me. I am very scientifically minded and not at all spiritual or religious. I just don't fit in in AA. Thanks in advance.
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:27 AM
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I have been able to become sober by researching why I was an alcoholic. Once I found the root cause of my issues with alcohol and why I could obsess and feel good about drinking even though I knew in was detrimental to my health and my life, the obsession mysteriously disappeared. I was able to reprogram my thought patterns without going through the 12 step behavioral/personality modification.

Aside from that I included a healthy diet and alot of exercise and self improvement/wellness through reading and learning. I think the self knowledge that I was basically brainwashed for 27 years to think alcohol was my God/cure-all/ fun maker, and that the thought of alcohol released chemicals in my brain that really made me feel good even though alcohol itself was killing me made me able to stop the obsession, and answered why I could run to the store and drink a bottle of vodka every night like I was in some sort of trance.

Check out some of the research links provided here in the secular area and see if they help, or if you ever have any questions feel free to PM me. I don't have all the answers, but I know what has helped me.
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:52 AM
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I'm an AA'er, so I don't know the specifics, but I believe there is a recovery program called "SMART" recovery.

...and I know there are addiction specialists out there too. You could meet with them, but let them know in advance you're not interested in AA as some will also recommend AA.

Good luck!

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Old 02-17-2011, 01:31 PM
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SMART is an acronym for Self-management and Recovery Training and is based in REBT (rational emotive behavior therapy). They have both online and face to face meetings. Since SMART is only about 15-16 years old it is not as established as AA, but is growing at a rapid pace, so there may or may not be face to face meetings in your area yet. More information can be found here: www.smart recovery.org
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Old 02-17-2011, 01:59 PM
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There a sticky at the top of the forum with secularly based programmes

D
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:40 PM
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I found reading helpful...allan carrs book especially. I also meditate
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Old 02-18-2011, 10:38 AM
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SMART Recovery is science-based, and might be a great fit for you. Other secular choices are LifeRing, SOS and Women for Sobriety. And plenty of people don't use a formal program or support group at all.

It is perfectly ok not to fit in at AA. I don't either, and I have been sober for many years.

OTT
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Old 02-18-2011, 10:57 AM
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Thanks all! I registered at SMART and I like the idea that I have control over my own actions. I mean I chose to drink so I can choose NOT to right? I didn't get that whole powerless over alcohol, only God can stop you from drinking thing.
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Old 02-18-2011, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by jerseytomato View Post

... I like the idea that I have control over my own actions. I mean I chose to drink so I can choose NOT to right?
Depends on whether you stopped "in time".

If you did not - all the logic, reason, diligence and tenacity in the world won't do you much good. If that does not make sense, keep in mind that there is no law that says addiction must make sense.
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Old 02-18-2011, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post
Depends on whether you stopped "in time".

If you did not - all the logic, reason, diligence and tenacity in the world won't do you much good. If that does not make sense, keep in mind that there is no law that says addiction must make sense.
That's not necessarily the belief or position of SMART Recovery.

From the SMART website:

SMART RecoveryŽ (Self Management And Recovery Training) helps individuals gain independence from addiction (substances or activities). Our efforts are based on scientific knowledge and evolve as scientific knowledge evolves. The program offers specific tools and techniques for each of the program points:

Point 1: Enhancing and Maintaining Motivation to Abstain

Point 2: Coping with Urges

Point 3: Problem Solving (Managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors)

Point 4: Lifestyle Balance (Balancing momentary and enduring satisfactions)
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Old 02-18-2011, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by jerseytomato
I mean I chose to drink so I can choose NOT to right?
The bottom line for me is: alcohol dose not mysteriously find its way down my throat as I witness helplessly scratching my head wondering...what just happened.

The above scenario goes beyond mere delusion or denial and enters the realm of the "Twilight Zone"

There is a saying I have heard: Relapse happens long before the first drink. I could be oblivious to the warning signs that relapse is highly probable. Also I could have no clue into my very own behaviors. That addiction is a mystery that only a bigger mystery can solve. Rather I need to know that I am responsible for my behavior. That I can either sabotage or aid my recovery choices. That is I do have choices, be it good or bad ones, ultimately I am responsible.
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Old 02-19-2011, 02:42 AM
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LifeRing believes you have an addicted self (the A) and that you have a sober self (the S). By doing things to strengthen your S you reduce the power of your A, and thereby stay sober for life.

SOS believes that you need to decide more firmly than the last times you decided not to drink and then stick with that and thereby stay sober for life.

SMART believes you need to see more clearly that drinking or procrastination, or whatever you want to change has more negatives than positives to it for you, and by understanding that and identifying your ongoing thoughts about drinking as false, you will thereby stay sober for life.

Rational Recovery believes you have an inner Beast that makes you drink, and that you need to identify and name your Beast. After you've done that, whenever your Beast starts barking at you to take a drink, you simply tell the Beast you are going to ignore it's barking. As long as you do that you are guaranteed to not drink for life.

Science is a wonderful thing.
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Old 02-19-2011, 06:52 AM
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Originally Posted by cabledude View Post

SMART believes you need to see more clearly that drinking or procrastination, or whatever you want to change has more negatives than positives to it for you, and by understanding that and identifying your ongoing thoughts about drinking as false, you will thereby stay sober for life.
The cost/benefit analysis is just one tool that SMART Recovery uses to help establish a motivation to quit, usually used early in the recovery process to help individuals take an honest look at the effects of one's addictive behavior. SMART emphasizes self-empowerment and personal responsibility. SMART also provides tools to cope with urges, dispel myths about urges, members work to help each other maintain motivation and to strive towards a balanced life after addiction.

The description provided of SMART that I quoted is an over simplification. I can't comment on the descriptions of SOS or Rational Recovery as I'm only somewhat familiar with those programs, but I suspect the summary provided may be over simplified as well.

A good source of information on SMART can be found here: SMART RecoveryŽ | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction
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Old 02-19-2011, 07:59 AM
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"The description provided of SMART that I quoted is an over simplification."

Yes, I suspected it was. Someone may be able to go into more detail on SMART for the OP.

At rational.org you can find out more details regarding Trimpey's new book for $29.95 plus, which updates AVRT into an art, and contains chapters on the Sex Beast and Smokey the Beast.
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Old 02-19-2011, 08:17 AM
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I like Trimpey's work: The Small Book. Its a good read.
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