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puddles 12-31-2010 11:28 AM

Moderate Drinking
I think I have a tendency to think of normal/whatever that means/moderate drinking as the holy grail...or whole taco? :)

As someone who is now working on living life as a non-drinker due to my unhealthy relationship with alcohol I am occasionally jealous of those who have the ability to drink moderately. I think this is normal being as that I have not been sober long at all. However, I don't want to always be jealous in the future and feel like I have to live my life in a suboptimal way, so I have been trying to look at things differently and reframe my thoughts.

As in, maybe there are actually a few advantages to abstinence as opposed to moderate drinking. I can think of a few, can you guys think of any more? Here's mine...

*Alcohol in any amount represents empty calories...better not to have ANY

*Alcohol reduces your bodies fat burning ability and encourages fat storage....better not to have ANY

* Even small amounts of alcohol give me a small hangover, or shiesty feeling, so I'll feel better if I don't drink ANY

*I don't do bottom shelf, drinking most always costs me too much money, so better to save it and not drink ANY

*There 's not need to evvy people who consume unhealthy substances in moderation...I don't envy people who eat donuts so why should i envy people who drink alcohol moderately?

*Alcohol even in moderation is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer in better not to have ANY

heretoday 12-31-2010 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by puddles (Post 2813330)
*There 's not need to evvy people who consume unhealthy substances in moderation...I don't envy people who eat donuts so why should i envy people who drink alcohol moderately?

I really like this. =P

I don't envy, nor do I criticize others who can control themselves around alcohol. I willfully respect the choices of those close to me as long as they aren't blatantly hurting themselves

There were times where I could control it, but it never felt right. I would get listless and grumpy because in my mind I would continue to fight with myself over getting another drink.

While at times I may feel rough, at the end of the day realizing that I've kept a clear mind makes me feel proud of myself.

LaFemme 12-31-2010 03:18 PM

It doesn't taste good....seriously even the top end stuff...its all the stuff they add to alcohol that tastes good. Ever drink grain alcohol? That's what al the other alcohols would taste like if you got rid of the additives.

It makes you do stupid stuff, even "normal" drinkers.

Normal drinkers have the potential to become alcoholics...happens all the time.

Normal drinkers still drive drunk and kill people (that's not something reserved for fact its probably going to happen tonight:(.

It clouds your have your judgment for a reason...use it.

Happy New Year!

north 12-31-2010 04:40 PM

Nowadays most places have extremely low tolerance for drunk driving so having even one or two drinks is considered unacceptable. Now that I don't drink, I now see things like being able to drive - anywhere, anytime - completely differently. Before, the option to drive was anchored around whether I'd be drinking or not.

recycle 12-31-2010 05:22 PM

It is a lot easier for me to eliminate drinking than to moderate. It took a bloody long time to learn that lesson, but I have learned it. Now I never wrestle with myself whether I should or shouldn't have a drink. It is just something I used to do.

The program which cannot be discussed here, makes the supposition that alcoholism is an allergy. True or not, it is a pragmatic approach for me. If I had an allergy to peanuts, I would not mess with trying to determine how many peanuts would kill me. Ethanol is just something my body cannot handle anymore. I don't envy those who can drink, anymore than I am envious of someone who can lick the end of their nose.

marcia36 12-31-2010 05:34 PM

This is a great quote:

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Lady Astor

AnthonyV 12-31-2010 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by recycle (Post 2813710)
It is a lot easier for me to eliminate drinking than to moderate. It took a bloody long time to learn that lesson, but I have learned it.

I think I've finally learned that lesson as well. I tried moderating, but all moderating did is made me resent that I had to stop. In addition, I have also learned that I cannot just smoke pot or even flirt with drinking n/a beer. Time and again, it always leads me right back to drinking a 12-pack or more a day and my body just can't take that anymore. I have no resentment against those who can drink one or two drinks a few times a week, it's not their fault that when I have a drink I want to pound a dozen or so.

onlythetruth 01-01-2011 07:09 AM

I don't view moderation as attractive in the least and I don't put a moment's effort into romanticizing it. Honestly, if I drink, I want to get loaded: I see no other purpose in drinking and never have.

It's not just that abstinence is easier or better: for me, it's the only thing that makes sense.

Supercrew 01-01-2011 10:13 PM

Not drinking at all makes me a better person, husband, and father.

I live in the moment when I am not drinking, and memories are easier to recall.

I am more active when I don't drink anything.

Even moderate drinking leads me to places where I don't want to be, which has led me back to heavy drinking.

SSIL75 01-07-2011 04:20 PM

I notice when I hang out with normal drinkers that they often don't even finish their drink. I think for them a drink is just like IDK... a sprite is to me or something. It still amazes me. Even though I know now that my relationship with alcohol was completely dysfunctional. I literally can't wrap my head around not finishing a drink!

MsCooterBrown 01-07-2011 07:51 PM

Cool beans. I don't think I have ventured to this section..Dee provided a thread for JackedJohn and I followed it over. HI GUYS!!! Moderation was never an option for me but man I gave it a good try. Kicked my butt every time. Finally gave is constant withdrawal is all it is. I feel so happy to not revolve my life around drinking. It took constant effort and was totally selfish. Need help moving? Sorry about your luck ..I gotta go drink. Other stuff too. People really needing me but drinking was at the top of my list. I have a LOT of helping people to catch up on. I was not the person inside my body for the last gazillion years of my drinking marathon. I was like a stepford wife. Happy now tho!!! I wish that for everyone!!!
Not sure why I just thought of this. It makes me laugh. Puke is a new member. So everyone was all "Welcome Puke!" slayed me. Only on SR!!!!

luckedog 01-07-2011 08:54 PM

Tried it a thousand times in the past! ALWAYS ended up the same way.
Drinking to excess, Not stopping after the first drink, nasty hangovers, binges, blackouts, making a fool of myself, and all that cool stuff we all love about drinking.

Some can moderate it- I can’t, It finally got through my thick head I'M NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO ALCHOL!

Zencat 01-08-2011 08:45 AM

Good to see you again luckedog. Moderation and me, its more like moderate binging...not healthy.

Hi puddles hows it going?

shockozulu 01-08-2011 01:37 PM

Welcome to Secular Connections MsCooterBrown. Glad you joined us here.

As for moderation, why would I even try. My only reason to drink was to get drunk. No room for moderation in there!

luckedog 01-08-2011 01:44 PM

Thanks Zen, Been busy taking care of my mom and Dad. Mom died Nov 3 10. Her and dad had been married 67 years and he has taken it very hard. Have been nearly living out there for last 6 mos. No internet connection. It has been tough to keep in touch. Glad to know I was missed!

gneiss 01-08-2011 02:05 PM

Welcome back, luckedog. Glad to see you around again, I missed ya! Sorry for the loss of your mother.

Originally Posted by puddles (Post 2813330)
I think I have a tendency to think of normal/whatever that means/moderate drinking as the holy grail...or whole taco? :)

So this is how I see "normal":

Normal people don't drink more than they can handle. Normal people stop before it gets out of control. I was weird for a long time, I drank to get dog**** wasted and couldn't stop to save my life.

Now I don't drink more than I can handle. I drink exactly what I can handle, which is nothing. *Bam* I'm normal again. I get out of control on drink #1 so I stop before I ever start. *Normal.* I have a normal relationship to alcohol again because I stick to my limit (my limit just happens to be zero).

LaFemme 01-08-2011 04:04 PM

Hi luckedog! So sorry about your Mom and how hard your Dads taking it...the holidays must have been rough...sending you hugs and prayers (I know, I know...this is the secular forum;))

Dee74 01-08-2011 04:08 PM

hi luckedog - good to see you. Sorry for your loss tho.

Hey MsCB and (((everyone))) :wave:

oak 01-08-2011 08:38 PM

I'm not particularly jealous of people who can moderate. But when cravings are up, I am jealous of people who don't crave alcohol.

You asked for advantages of abstinence/sobriety.
* It's poison, even in small quantities.
* I think we can grow stronger and more resilient through our struggles. I think any crisis is an opportunity for growth, and I think I grew a lot from it. I think I have a deeper appreciation for each conscious moment- than I would have had if I never struggled with alcohol. I don't really wish to be different than I am.

luckedog 01-09-2011 12:15 AM

Thanks guys, Love to all!! Really good to know you care.

Will try to be round more, dad is doing much better, thought I was going to lose him too for a while.

MsCooterBrown 01-09-2011 12:20 PM

BRRRRRRRR! Back to bitter cold with snow. You'd think it was winter or something..anyway..checking in to say I am so happy to be free of is the cigarettes that I am at battle with. I have an Rx for Chantix but I did not fill it. The side effects scare me. One of the BEST #1 things that happened while alcohol free is no more anxiety. That is the #1 side effect of Chantix that I am scared of. So I have to find a way..long story short..that is why I went out in the cold and snow was to pick up smokes. *sigh*

damselfly 01-12-2011 02:21 PM

Going in and out of sobriety for a while, I became very "aware" when drinking. (Currently sober for 4+ months.) One thing I noticed is that I just don't enjoy moderate drinking. After one or two drinks, I feel tired and anxious. And on the rare occasions when I actually stopped at that amount, that's all I got out of it--feeling tired and anxious. So when I start playing the "one drink would be nice" trick, I try to remind myself what one drink really feels like, and then I realize that I don't want it. (Well, there is also the reminder that I'm not likely to stop anywhere close to one drink!)

Reset 01-12-2011 10:36 PM

I used to think a "moderate" night was 1 glass of bourbon and 3 glasses of wine. That was a light night, maybe like a Monday or Tuesday. I'd be feeling pretty good about myself for stopping after that. :lol:

gneiss 01-13-2011 06:37 PM

Yeah, I'd bask in the glow of a night like that for an hour or so, liquorandndrugs. And then I'd think that obviously I was so amazing at being a moderate drinker that I'd have another since I knew my limits so well. And after a couple more since I was so well in control surely it wouldn't hurt to get just a couple hits.

Yup. Moderate. If you give a mouse a cookie...

LaFemme 01-13-2011 08:25 PM

Moderate???? What's that? When you stop at 1.5 liters of wine and can't get anymore because the stores are closed?

LaFemme 01-13-2011 08:29 PM

Which by the way....rarely I would be that unprepared...the horrors!!!

Reset 01-13-2011 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by LaFemme (Post 2829950)
Which by the way....rarely I would be that unprepared...the horrors!!!

wow reading these stories is so funny because it's like looking in the mirror.

I'd never have been caught without enough booze after the stores closed.

undercoverangel 01-14-2011 06:28 AM

Moderation never worked for me and I tried for years. I drank to get drunk every time, I even hated the taste of alcohol (If somebody made me a cocktail I had to pretend it was good, hate the taste of all alcohol). I could go days without picking up but once I did I wouldn't stop until the booze was gone or I passed out. If I did run out before I got to my "comfort zone", I'd be miserable for the rest of the night. It was a hellish way of life, I'm So tired of thinking about alcohol every day!! I didn't need it for the first 40 years of my life, how could I possibly need it now?! I don't, it's all an illusion, and I need to just put it behind me. The way I think about people who can drink moderately? They aren't getting the incredible high I did from it, it affects them differently, reason they don't get addicted. My thoughts anyway.

shockozulu 01-14-2011 10:05 PM

Moderation was never in my vocabulary. The first time I got buzzed on alcohol, I went from buzzed to smashed in less than two hours.

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