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puddles 12-31-2010 11:28 AM

Moderate Drinking
I think I have a tendency to think of normal/whatever that means/moderate drinking as the holy grail...or whole taco? :)

As someone who is now working on living life as a non-drinker due to my unhealthy relationship with alcohol I am occasionally jealous of those who have the ability to drink moderately. I think this is normal being as that I have not been sober long at all. However, I don't want to always be jealous in the future and feel like I have to live my life in a suboptimal way, so I have been trying to look at things differently and reframe my thoughts.

As in, maybe there are actually a few advantages to abstinence as opposed to moderate drinking. I can think of a few, can you guys think of any more? Here's mine...

*Alcohol in any amount represents empty calories...better not to have ANY

*Alcohol reduces your bodies fat burning ability and encourages fat storage....better not to have ANY

* Even small amounts of alcohol give me a small hangover, or shiesty feeling, so I'll feel better if I don't drink ANY

*I don't do bottom shelf, drinking most always costs me too much money, so better to save it and not drink ANY

*There 's not need to evvy people who consume unhealthy substances in moderation...I don't envy people who eat donuts so why should i envy people who drink alcohol moderately?

*Alcohol even in moderation is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer in better not to have ANY

heretoday 12-31-2010 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by puddles (Post 2813330)
*There 's not need to evvy people who consume unhealthy substances in moderation...I don't envy people who eat donuts so why should i envy people who drink alcohol moderately?

I really like this. =P

I don't envy, nor do I criticize others who can control themselves around alcohol. I willfully respect the choices of those close to me as long as they aren't blatantly hurting themselves

There were times where I could control it, but it never felt right. I would get listless and grumpy because in my mind I would continue to fight with myself over getting another drink.

While at times I may feel rough, at the end of the day realizing that I've kept a clear mind makes me feel proud of myself.

LaFemme 12-31-2010 03:18 PM

It doesn't taste good....seriously even the top end stuff...its all the stuff they add to alcohol that tastes good. Ever drink grain alcohol? That's what al the other alcohols would taste like if you got rid of the additives.

It makes you do stupid stuff, even "normal" drinkers.

Normal drinkers have the potential to become alcoholics...happens all the time.

Normal drinkers still drive drunk and kill people (that's not something reserved for fact its probably going to happen tonight:(.

It clouds your have your judgment for a reason...use it.

Happy New Year!

north 12-31-2010 04:40 PM

Nowadays most places have extremely low tolerance for drunk driving so having even one or two drinks is considered unacceptable. Now that I don't drink, I now see things like being able to drive - anywhere, anytime - completely differently. Before, the option to drive was anchored around whether I'd be drinking or not.

recycle 12-31-2010 05:22 PM

It is a lot easier for me to eliminate drinking than to moderate. It took a bloody long time to learn that lesson, but I have learned it. Now I never wrestle with myself whether I should or shouldn't have a drink. It is just something I used to do.

The program which cannot be discussed here, makes the supposition that alcoholism is an allergy. True or not, it is a pragmatic approach for me. If I had an allergy to peanuts, I would not mess with trying to determine how many peanuts would kill me. Ethanol is just something my body cannot handle anymore. I don't envy those who can drink, anymore than I am envious of someone who can lick the end of their nose.

marcia36 12-31-2010 05:34 PM

This is a great quote:

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Lady Astor

AnthonyV 12-31-2010 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by recycle (Post 2813710)
It is a lot easier for me to eliminate drinking than to moderate. It took a bloody long time to learn that lesson, but I have learned it.

I think I've finally learned that lesson as well. I tried moderating, but all moderating did is made me resent that I had to stop. In addition, I have also learned that I cannot just smoke pot or even flirt with drinking n/a beer. Time and again, it always leads me right back to drinking a 12-pack or more a day and my body just can't take that anymore. I have no resentment against those who can drink one or two drinks a few times a week, it's not their fault that when I have a drink I want to pound a dozen or so.

onlythetruth 01-01-2011 07:09 AM

I don't view moderation as attractive in the least and I don't put a moment's effort into romanticizing it. Honestly, if I drink, I want to get loaded: I see no other purpose in drinking and never have.

It's not just that abstinence is easier or better: for me, it's the only thing that makes sense.

Supercrew 01-01-2011 10:13 PM

Not drinking at all makes me a better person, husband, and father.

I live in the moment when I am not drinking, and memories are easier to recall.

I am more active when I don't drink anything.

Even moderate drinking leads me to places where I don't want to be, which has led me back to heavy drinking.

SSIL75 01-07-2011 04:20 PM

I notice when I hang out with normal drinkers that they often don't even finish their drink. I think for them a drink is just like IDK... a sprite is to me or something. It still amazes me. Even though I know now that my relationship with alcohol was completely dysfunctional. I literally can't wrap my head around not finishing a drink!

MsCooterBrown 01-07-2011 07:51 PM

Cool beans. I don't think I have ventured to this section..Dee provided a thread for JackedJohn and I followed it over. HI GUYS!!! Moderation was never an option for me but man I gave it a good try. Kicked my butt every time. Finally gave is constant withdrawal is all it is. I feel so happy to not revolve my life around drinking. It took constant effort and was totally selfish. Need help moving? Sorry about your luck ..I gotta go drink. Other stuff too. People really needing me but drinking was at the top of my list. I have a LOT of helping people to catch up on. I was not the person inside my body for the last gazillion years of my drinking marathon. I was like a stepford wife. Happy now tho!!! I wish that for everyone!!!
Not sure why I just thought of this. It makes me laugh. Puke is a new member. So everyone was all "Welcome Puke!" slayed me. Only on SR!!!!

luckedog 01-07-2011 08:54 PM

Tried it a thousand times in the past! ALWAYS ended up the same way.
Drinking to excess, Not stopping after the first drink, nasty hangovers, binges, blackouts, making a fool of myself, and all that cool stuff we all love about drinking.

Some can moderate it- I can’t, It finally got through my thick head I'M NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO ALCHOL!

Zencat 01-08-2011 08:45 AM

Good to see you again luckedog. Moderation and me, its more like moderate binging...not healthy.

Hi puddles hows it going?

shockozulu 01-08-2011 01:37 PM

Welcome to Secular Connections MsCooterBrown. Glad you joined us here.

As for moderation, why would I even try. My only reason to drink was to get drunk. No room for moderation in there!

luckedog 01-08-2011 01:44 PM

Thanks Zen, Been busy taking care of my mom and Dad. Mom died Nov 3 10. Her and dad had been married 67 years and he has taken it very hard. Have been nearly living out there for last 6 mos. No internet connection. It has been tough to keep in touch. Glad to know I was missed!

gneiss 01-08-2011 02:05 PM

Welcome back, luckedog. Glad to see you around again, I missed ya! Sorry for the loss of your mother.

Originally Posted by puddles (Post 2813330)
I think I have a tendency to think of normal/whatever that means/moderate drinking as the holy grail...or whole taco? :)

So this is how I see "normal":

Normal people don't drink more than they can handle. Normal people stop before it gets out of control. I was weird for a long time, I drank to get dog**** wasted and couldn't stop to save my life.

Now I don't drink more than I can handle. I drink exactly what I can handle, which is nothing. *Bam* I'm normal again. I get out of control on drink #1 so I stop before I ever start. *Normal.* I have a normal relationship to alcohol again because I stick to my limit (my limit just happens to be zero).

LaFemme 01-08-2011 04:04 PM

Hi luckedog! So sorry about your Mom and how hard your Dads taking it...the holidays must have been rough...sending you hugs and prayers (I know, I know...this is the secular forum;))

Dee74 01-08-2011 04:08 PM

hi luckedog - good to see you. Sorry for your loss tho.

Hey MsCB and (((everyone))) :wave:

oak 01-08-2011 08:38 PM

I'm not particularly jealous of people who can moderate. But when cravings are up, I am jealous of people who don't crave alcohol.

You asked for advantages of abstinence/sobriety.
* It's poison, even in small quantities.
* I think we can grow stronger and more resilient through our struggles. I think any crisis is an opportunity for growth, and I think I grew a lot from it. I think I have a deeper appreciation for each conscious moment- than I would have had if I never struggled with alcohol. I don't really wish to be different than I am.

luckedog 01-09-2011 12:15 AM

Thanks guys, Love to all!! Really good to know you care.

Will try to be round more, dad is doing much better, thought I was going to lose him too for a while.

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