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Alternative Approaches (Part III)

Old 08-14-2010, 11:35 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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I think the regrets are what really keeps me from using. I don't want to go back to where I was, I don't want to get that bad again. It's not the blown money or actually using that I regret, or even the close calls where I almost got arrested for buying dope or driving drunk or whatever. I don't want to hurt more people, or myself. Those regrets, or lessons if you prefer, were my original motivation to quit.

Even with all the trouble involved I can't say I 100% regret all the drinking and drugs. I had a decent amount of fun with it before it became more trouble than it was worth, and it kept a few demons at bay until I was ready to deal with them (although by that time there were a lot more demons to deal with). I also gained a certain amount of compassion that I never had before. And it changed how I view the world in almost every facet of my life. It wasn't all bad, it just became more trouble than it was worth.
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Old 08-14-2010, 05:09 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Regret eats at me sometimes but I can't do much about it other than look ahead.
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Old 08-14-2010, 05:26 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Can't help but hear Sid Vicious doing "My Way" here. I don't have very many regrets. There are lots of things I would do differently in hind sight, and maybe a couple of things I do wish I could change. But all in all I am so grateful for this day, this life, this opportunity. It would seem disrespectful moan about the past. I am who I am scars and all.
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Old 08-14-2010, 10:09 PM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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I agree recycle, we have to maintain an optimistic view of the future. Most of our pasts arenít worth much value except that we learned something many others donít, and many never will, drinking/using isnít worth the misery and pain it caused us and our loved ones!

ďBut all in all I am so grateful for this day, this life, this opportunity. It would seem disrespectful moan about the past. I am who I am scars and all."-recycle


"Regret eats at me sometimes but I can't do much about it other than look ahead." -Windysan

"It wasn't all bad; it just became more trouble than it was worth."-gneiss

"Then came recovery where I begun to realize that I was suffering greatly even when I was able to hold a job. Just as much as I suffered without the ability to work."-Zencat

I hear an awful lot of regret on SR though, and think that there is a benefit in viewing the addiction we have all suffered with as an opportunity....thoughts?" -LaFemme

We have learned something many will never figure out- drinking/using isnít worth the misery and pain it caused us and those we care about!! Lots of people are still out there in that "VISCOUS CIRCLE" called addiction. I encourage all of us donít loose focus or get sidetracked! Recovery should be priority # one. WE canít change one minute of the past but we CAN change the future! I watched the movie "A Knights Tale" with Heath Ledger. After he made that movie and a few more he died of a O.D. on prescription drugs, at the height of his acting career. During a scene in that movie(as a young peasant boy he asks his father " Can a man really change his stars?".... We have been handed that opportunity, but we must work hard to keep it. I'm glad to be in a group of folks that are focused on our recovery, and are willing to help each other get to that destination.


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Old 08-14-2010, 10:16 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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Amen Dr. Luckedog...Amen:-)
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Old 08-14-2010, 11:07 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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Hay! I was just teasing the other day, Got to love youíre sick sense of humor though! Night All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-15-2010, 12:24 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Regrets, I have a bunch, but then again too many to mention. But without regrets I don't think we get to mature. If I didn't regret things I did while I was drinking I'm not sure if I would have quit. I have allowed myself to miss many opportunities throughout my life due to my problems with drinking, I have also done and said many things in my life while I was drinking that I regret. But if I try to forget those things I might forget them and do them again. Regretting something in my mind is just feeling sorry that you did it. I don't have a problem with that because I think it helps me grow and makes me a better person. Regretting things gives me the opportunity to grow learn and do it better and to make ammends when needed.
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Old 08-15-2010, 04:35 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by luckedog View Post
Hay! I was just teasing the other day, Got to love youíre sick sense of humor though! Night All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too late Doc! ;-)

Supercrew, I guess what I was trying to say was viewing our past mistakes as learning experiences was more positive than viewing them as regrets. The outcome is the same...but I worry that, at least for me, regretting things can lead to negative thinking as oppossed to constructive thinking.
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Old 08-15-2010, 09:49 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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For me, not dwelling on regret is pragmatic. I simply do not have the mental resources to fritter them away on the past mistakes or triumphs. Freewill is an illusion. (I don't mean that freewill does not exist, I mean that freewill is not what it appears to be.) What ever freewill we do posses is likely limited to a very small portion of pure thought. I try to use this valuable resource to set my intention for the future.
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Old 08-15-2010, 11:16 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
Too late Doc! ;-)

Supercrew, I guess what I was trying to say was viewing our past mistakes as learning experiences was more positive than viewing them as regrets. The outcome is the same...but I worry that, at least for me, regretting things can lead to negative thinking as oppossed to constructive thinking.
I guess the difference would be whether you constantly beat yourself up over things that you did in your past as opposed to knowing you did wrong and looking for way to fix them or make sure they never happen again.

I'm not one to dwell on my past mistakes, because there are so many!
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Old 08-19-2010, 06:50 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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So I'm reading this book by Wayne Dyer, and he talks about disassociation and being a witness to your emotions. I have been implementing it in my own life and I'm finding it really helpful. What do all of us have in common when we get sober? Difficulty with emotions, right? This practice is proving really helpful to me. I had a problem yesterday and I felt my anxiety starting to take over and I was able to use his techniques to get through it....pretty cool:-)
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:49 AM
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Talked to my LC today...we aretalking a lot about finding the authentic self...which I realize now I tried to kill or bury with alcohol.

Interestingly we spoke of the role of the enabler in passing...how having an enabler makes it take longer to get well because the enabler "helps"...o am on my own so don't really have an enabler..was wondering about everyone else.
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Old 09-11-2010, 09:12 PM
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The first book I read (and, got Dyer on the map back in 76') was Your Erroneous Zones. It was a good read(for me, and I guess ; 30 million other people) back in the 70's

The next book (which I happened across in a thrift store somewhere in the late 80's ) Pulling You own Strings was really helpful too. I certainly can't comment on originality and all that, ...but I found him staightforward and humorously readable.

Those were a couple that predated his 90's journey (and skyrocketing popularity) into Spirtualism.

Today, out for the World's Slowest Two Mile Run,

....now, that, was a meditative experience.

.

Last edited by topspin; 09-11-2010 at 09:15 PM. Reason: punctuation ?
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