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Old 11-19-2010, 08:36 AM
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Gneiss...giving an alkie a credit card isn't that smart either...lol. sounds like a change of scene will be good for you.

V....my sisters ex did a lot of work with veterans returning from the middle east. A lot of the injured get hooked on painkillers what with the ptsd and stuff. He was trying to establish a program to deal with pain using alternative methods...I wish I knew more about it but my sister broke up with him. Anyway...it sounds like a fantastic field to go into...tough but rewarding:-)
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Old 11-19-2010, 08:52 AM
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Oh LaF, I know! Actually I'm starting to think giving anyone a credit card is a bad idea.
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Old 11-21-2010, 09:18 PM
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Another perpetual student here. Went back, got my associates in political science. Was going to get a BA and head to law school. Decided its not for me, and heading back to the community college to get an Associates in Science in the field of physics (at least three years) before I head out for my B.S. in that field.

I learned the important thing is that I'm happy with my education when I'm done.
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Old 11-25-2010, 03:30 PM
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Er, I am not an addict/drinker, just involved with someone who is so not sure if I am welcome to this clubhouse but thought I'd say hi because I am agnostic 'Catholic Lite' and I like reading this forum because I struggle with the HP stuff.


good luck y'all!
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Old 11-25-2010, 06:12 PM
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Sure! C'mon in!!

As a group we're pretty open minded and are willing to listen and learn. We even let full blown believers hang around with us (hi LaFemme)

Your avatar is a riot..."Who me? What red stuff? Nope, wasn't me, no way, no how!"

Murray
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Old 11-25-2010, 06:35 PM
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Your welcome here Babyblue. Post or reply as you feel the need to.
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Old 11-25-2010, 07:55 PM
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Welcome babyblue! Love your avatar! As the others have said we are a pretty open minded bunch...a little strange, well maybe a lot strange...but at least we are fun:-)
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Old 11-25-2010, 10:49 PM
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Welcome, Babyblue. I've been on all sides of that one: addict, clean but in a relationship with an addict, and addict in a relationship with an addict. And now I'm clean and not in any relationship at all. Glad you're here, the more the merrier!
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Old 11-26-2010, 12:38 AM
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Thanks for making me feel so welcome!!
I work in pediatric mental health so I have some background in that avenue and am glad to be here
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Old 11-26-2010, 12:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Babyblue View Post
Thanks for making me feel so welcome!!
I work in pediatric mental health so I have some background in that avenue and am glad to be here
I'm divested in mental health work, being from the the pediatric intensive care beginnings of child care myself.
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Old 11-26-2010, 07:19 AM
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Pediatric mental health...that's about as far as possible from being a boring, mundane job as I can imagine!

My wife and I were foster parents to babies and toddlers, so we've seen some pretty disturbing things. We got out of it after our daughter was born, when she started to get confused by the "coping strategies" some of the foster kids had when they came into our home. She's 9 now, so we may get back into it in 3 or 4 years when she's better able to understand.

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Old 11-26-2010, 01:58 PM
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It is never dull, that is for sure. But very rewarding work. Can be emotionally taxing though so I do lots of 'self-care' so that I don't burn out. I also work with medically fragile infants as well.

Funny because when I see a 'typical' child I am always taken aback at how different a healthy, well adjusted child acts compared to some of the kids I help.
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Old 11-26-2010, 02:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Babyblue View Post
Er, I am not an addict/drinker, just involved with someone who is so not sure if I am welcome to this clubhouse but thought I'd say hi because I am agnostic 'Catholic Lite' and I like reading this forum because I struggle with the HP stuff.


good luck y'all!
Welcome. It was my addict mother that first brought me here. Only then did I admit my own addiction. I am also an agnostic from a Catholic background.

You know the beginning of the big bang? When everything was compressed into that tiny dot? That is my higher power.

Glad to see you post.
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Old 11-26-2010, 07:58 PM
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Hi babyblue...sounds like you are a natural care taker...I'm curious if that's how you ended up in a relationship with an addict...just curioius because that is partly my story...but I got the joy of dealing with my own alcohol problems as well. Hope its ok to ask
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Old 11-26-2010, 10:41 PM
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
Hi babyblue...sounds like you are a natural care taker...I'm curious if that's how you ended up in a relationship with an addict...just curioius because that is partly my story...but I got the joy of dealing with my own alcohol problems as well. Hope its ok to ask
Bam! LaFemme, I have had yet another revelation while reading one of your posts. (Where have you been all my life?)

My sister is disabled. I sorta had a caretaker role pushed onto me whether I wanted it or not (and I most definitely didn't). I went to great lengths to make sure I don't have a caretaker role now-- i.e. choosing careers carefully so I wouldn't be responsible for anyone as in a health or counseling field, not having kids, etc. And it came around and got me anyway: a relationship with an addict. And I didn't even realize that I didn't want the responsibility for someone else (it's clear to me now that I took responsibility for his entire life, but I didn't see it that way then), but I wanted the fun. And given a few other circumstances that made me a little more willing to drink too much and eventually try drugs... well, here I am.

Gawd. Figuring that out might have saved me a lot of trouble! LOL Oh well, I made some mistakes and did some bad things, and I tried to regret it because I thought I was supposed to, but I sure learned a lot about myself and other people and I wouldn't trade it at this point.
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LaFemme (11-27-2010)
Old 11-29-2010, 07:05 AM
  # 176 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone

I was going to try and wait until I had a month under my belt before posting here in an attempt to illustrate at least a certain level of gravitas. However, in truly addictive fashion, I was unable exert self control any longer so here I am with only 3 weeks of sobriety.

There is quite a bit of reading for me to do to catch up before I post again but I did just want to say thank you to Babyblue. Its nice to know that it isn't only the alkies who are the heathens!

See you all again quite soon.
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:59 AM
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Welcome NoAlcoholToday, to the secular section of SR.

I like secular addiction recovery because I can just work on my addiction without (IMO) having to figure out one of humankind's most perplexing question of all time: G*d, just what is to believe or not about him, her ,it...?

Glad your here to share your recovery journey with us secular folk.
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Old 11-29-2010, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by gneiss View Post
Bam! LaFemme, I have had yet another revelation while reading one of your posts. (Where have you been all my life?)
Obviously the hand of God at work....bwahahahaha!

So I thought I'd share about my Thanksgiving experience. Like many people holidays with the family is a wonderful season of angst, anger, depression, hurt and food. In the past I dealt with it all by getting sloshed. So on the 8 hour drive south (normally only 4.5 hours) on Tuesday I had something of an epiphany. Now this is sort of spiritual so I apologize in advance, but here goes.

If (and I believe this) life is a learning experience where we are all students and teachers alike, then instead of letting myself get all upset about my family, I can look at it as a learning opportunity. For instance...after I do all the cooking, and everyone says they will clean the last of the dishes and then they don't...well in the past I would get upset and drink while I did the dishes myself. This time, I thought ok, what does this teach me...well, 1) I can say something...but I have in the past, and it doesn't register. 2) I could just leave the dishes, but I will need the sink in the morning to make my breakfast so that doesn't work either. Or 3) I can realize that in the relationships I choose for myself in the future I will not choose people who do not value me and what I do for them (while I do the dishes, and realize it will not always be this way). I love doing nice things for people, but it's nice to be appreciated too.

So that was my little holiday epiphany...and surviving Thanksgiving was a nice warm up for Christmas which is usually my least favorite holiday...I actually find myself looking forward to it a little this year.

xo, LaFemme!
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:59 PM
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LaFemme:

Sorry I didn't see your post.

But to answer your question it is a relationship that began in college many moons ago, both sober, then we went our seperate ways.. Married other people etc etc... ended other people marriages.

Then we reconnected and he told me from the get go that he was in recovery. Both still had feelings from the old days that were very easy to tap into so we started the relationship thingy.

Sadly, he relapsed but got up from it quickly and is now in an extensive treatment program... and I'm his perky cheerleader!
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Old 12-07-2010, 05:19 PM
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Hello,

I am new here too, so I thought I'd start with this thread. :-)

I am a 39-year-old, life-long atheist, currently living in Riverside County, CA. I've been in and out of professional treatment and AA since 2005, currently with a little over three months clean and sober. (Well, if I don't count my serious caffeine and sugar addictions!)

I enjoy AA because I like the regular contact with other (sober) addicts/alcoholics, but of course it is a challenge to try and constantly translate the "god" language in to something that is meaningful to me. I'm doing OK with it lately, because I find that I can choose whether to focus on it or not - better to focus on how I plan to stay sober today. But I suppose I ended up here because I am still looking for support from others who are able to stay sober without necessarily believing in a god.

I have no interest in religious debate or putting down others' beliefs, just trying to find what works for me.

Anyhow, that's enough for now. Howdy, y'all! ;-)
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