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Old 10-26-2010, 01:41 PM
  # 141 (permalink)  
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Wow, this is a really fun thread. I am back on day 2 (again). I have found a lot of like-minded people here. I am spiritual, and read a lot about different practices/belief systems. Integrating various ideas seems to help me get and remain centered, which supports sobriety.

I am creating my own program, like many folks here have done. It is such a relief to know that I won't screw up just because I am not doing sobriety the way the mainstream says I must do it.

Here's where I am headed and some of the things that have worked in the past that will hopefully work today, tomorrow and in the future:
1. regular meditation
2. yoga (goes with meditation, for me)
3. exercise
4. Logic: reminding myself of the consequences of drinking and the benefits of not drinking
5. Creativity: recapturing the lost part of myself that loves to draw, paint and write.
6. Journaling
7. Reading about alcohol abuse and personal growth/spirituality (I think I am going to read Echart Tolle's "A New Earth" to start)

Checking in here for humor and other suggestions.
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Old 10-26-2010, 03:51 PM
  # 142 (permalink)  
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Hi Lilac...if you want to employ logic you might look at the thread regarding scientific articles...it explains the biomedical aspect of drinking. Many of us find this very helpful.
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Old 10-27-2010, 06:02 PM
  # 143 (permalink)  
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Hi Lilac.

I have my own treatment program as well. One that is tailored to my personal needs and one that doesn't conflict with my personal values. This makes recovering from addiction so much simpler that having to stuff myself into a ready made mold that is woefully too small for my free thinking mind .


You might want to look into SMART Recovery Tools, their secular in nature and more akin to CBT. Its good stuff to have in ones recovery tool box.
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Old 10-28-2010, 08:07 AM
  # 144 (permalink)  
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You know, the funny thing about this thread is that I go to church, believe in God, but don't find the "traditional method" all that helpful and in fact feel that many of the precepts conflict with what I was taught in my christian upbringing. I find a great deal of helpful info here!

I have looked at SMART, and sometimes check their online forum. I've also done a CBA, and need to re-do it since I am starting over again (4 days, whoop whoop).

I have a bunch of books too, and think I'll read Carr's EasyWay book. I think that after hearing what other people have posted on another thread that it might help to change my mind about drinking. Kinda like I changed my mind about smoking and various drugs (the thought of certain drugs that I used in the past and cigarettes make me cringe and feel nauseous).
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:52 AM
  # 145 (permalink)  
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Hi Lilac. I go to church (occassionally) and believe in God too as do many in the secular forum, we just found recovery our own way instead of the pre-fab methods. I personally believe w/o a shadow of doubt that I would not be even alive today much less recovered from alcohol abuse w/o divine intervention. My most important "recovery" book was the bible, I'd never read it before but I started reading it about 9 months into recovery (took me 3 months to read cover to cover) after reading "The Purpose Driven Life" and between the 2 I learned so very much and they gave me a path/diagram for my recovery and life.

Good for you on 4 days!
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Old 10-28-2010, 10:53 AM
  # 146 (permalink)  
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Hi lilac! Add me to the list of people on secular who aren't exactly secular...lol:-) I found pretty early that this part of the forum seems to be the most interested in non-rraditional methods of recovery as well as the place where people really are interested in learning about why we get addicted. I fall in the camp of "God helps those who help themselves" but he does point us in the right direction too. I find it hysterical that people think that just because you are Christian you would follow a particular program for recovery.

Glad to have you here...enjoy Carts book and let me know what you think about it:-) maybe I will start a Carr thread...I'm already not particularly popular...lol:-)
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Old 10-28-2010, 01:55 PM
  # 147 (permalink)  
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PHEW! That was close. I almost posted my response here, but that would have had this thread shut down and locked pronto!!!

Please refer to the Secular Free Speech thread if interested in reading my non-theist reply

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2749912

Murray
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Old 10-28-2010, 05:58 PM
  # 148 (permalink)  
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I always thought Secular Connections wasn't really for people who subscribe (or don't) to a particular religion, but rather people who take a rational approach to recovery. It's a recovery forum, not a religion forum.

Unless you want a recovery from religion forum. That's an entirely different can of worms.
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Old 10-28-2010, 07:04 PM
  # 149 (permalink)  
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Lips tightly sealed & making zipper motion across them with hand

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Old 10-29-2010, 01:12 AM
  # 150 (permalink)  
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ah gneiss, I needed that laugh. you're one of my favourite posters
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Old 10-30-2010, 06:09 PM
  # 151 (permalink)  
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Everyone here makes me laugh! Thanks!
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Old 11-17-2010, 07:15 AM
  # 152 (permalink)  
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Hi, there! I'm new to this section of SR, too, and you all seem like a great group of people (just finished reading entire thread from beginning to end). I think this is where I belong, as I am also a secular humanist/agnostic. I have mostly been hanging out on the Alcoholism forum, because I am newly sober (26 days) again after a nine-month relapse (before which I had 4+ years). It wasn't that nothing was working for me; it was that I wasn't working any sort of program--not my own, not CBT, not anything. I became complacent and then decided that I could "control" my drinking--which I found that I could, up to a point, and that point was misery. Misery at always wanting more (mental obsession) and misery about occasionally having more, and then the demoralization and shame that comes along with that m.o.

I decided that I was sick of living that way (all that sneaking and lying to my husband was wearing me out, and I found it to be a very stressful way to live), so I made the decision to stop the insanity of my actions and behaviors. I'm already feeling much better, and my self-concept is greatly improved from 26 days ago.

Anyway, just wanted to say "hi."

Viavai
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Old 11-17-2010, 07:34 AM
  # 153 (permalink)  
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Hi vaivai,

Welcome to our rag-tag, nonconformist, freethinking corner of SR

Thanks for sharing your story...a cautionary tale if there ever was one!

Murray
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Old 11-17-2010, 08:40 AM
  # 154 (permalink)  
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Welcome to the secular side of SoberRecovery Viavai.

I think its good to have some kind plan for recovery. Be it whatever that suits oneself. Being here at at SR is a good addition to my secular recovery program. I hope it can be the same for you.
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Old 11-17-2010, 10:14 AM
  # 155 (permalink)  
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Hi V!

Welcome to our happy dysfunctional family:-) Did you get a chance to read some of the Science Articles we have posted in here. I found them to be a really helpful tool for recovery. If I can understand why I'm thinking certain things I can deal with it better than just praying to God:-)

On another note...My Coach taught me an exercise this weekend in dealing with negative emotions like fear.

Think about something you fear. Take a minute and really feel what is going on when you are afraid...where the feelings come from, what the physical sensations are, etc. Spend a nice solid minute on it and then take a couple of deep breathes and release the emotion.

Now think about something you are grateful for. Take a minute and really feel it and whats going on physically while you are letting the emotion fill you up. How it feels, where the emotions come from, etc. Do whate3ver the emotion moves you to do, smile, laugh, dance, whatever floats your boat. Take that minute, but don't release the feelings with a cleansing breath at the end just move out of the place and let the feelings carry you forward. When you feel anxiety, fear, anger, anything negative in the future, immediately do the gratitude exercise. Eventually the gratitude reaction will become second nature when negative emotions rise up...sort of like muscle memory but with feelings.

I have found this "Attitude of Gratitude" approach really helpful so I wanted to share:-)
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Old 11-17-2010, 10:59 AM
  # 156 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone! LaFemme, thanks for the guided meditation tip. I'm going to try it right now before I have to head off to school (which currently brings up a lot of anxiety for me because there are only 2 weeks left of the semester and I have a TON of work to do before it's over!).

I'll be checking back later! Have a good day, everyone!
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Old 11-17-2010, 11:30 AM
  # 157 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post

Welcome to our happy dysfunctional family:-)
We sure put the fun in dysfunctional

Welcome to SC, Vaivai. Congratulations on your 26 days!

I'm also in school and feeling that end-of-the-semester rush, even more so because I have to take my finals early. Just a little wee bit stressful.

Glad you're here. Take care of yourself.
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:39 AM
  # 158 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by viavai View Post
Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone! LaFemme, thanks for the guided meditation tip. I'm going to try it right now before I have to head off to school (which currently brings up a lot of anxiety for me because there are only 2 weeks left of the semester and I have a TON of work to do before it's over!).

I'll be checking back later! Have a good day, everyone!
So good to see you here.

Looking forward to hearing about school. I'm looking to go back in January myself. I have an AA but want an Associates in Science in Physics, and then a B.S. if I can find a school to transfer locally.
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Old 11-19-2010, 04:35 AM
  # 159 (permalink)  
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gneiss, what are you in school for? I'm getting my master's in rehabilitation counseling (which is not addictions counseling, but loosely tied, since the focus is on people with disabilities, and addiction is considered a disability under the ADA). I want to work with veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, many of whom are disabled with co--morbid depression and substance abuse issues. Mainly, I want to work with them to transition to civilian life and help them find careers in civilian life post-deployment/enlistment. I know this will be a huge challenge, but believe I am up to that challenge. I'll be done in August.
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Old 11-19-2010, 07:11 AM
  # 160 (permalink)  
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Viavai: Sounds fun and challenging.

I am studying geology. I might never be done! LOL It's starting to feel that way, anyway. I have about a year left. If I'd been more diligent I might have been done this semester but... well, I did a bunch of drugs instead. And I just took a job that will require me to put off my degree for at least a semester, maybe two. It doesn't bother me, I'm a little burned out on school and I'm looking forward to a break and the chance to pay off some debts (turns out giving a druggie a credit card is a bad idea. Who knew, right?)

Also, I'm looking forward to getting out of this town. I hate it here. I can't drive past an apartment complex I haven't bought drugs at. I can't go to the gas station without running into someone I bought from or used with. I screen my calls still because I'm worried that someone *might* be calling that I don't want to talk to. The drugs are pervasive everywhere, but at least in a different place I won't know where to get it and I'll have the opportunity not to know these things.
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