LaFemme

And Murray....you are awesome. Now how's the photography going?

Zencat

There you are. There is a thread in 'new comers' asking about your presence. You are loved here at SR...me I don't think so...LOL. It aint easy being sleazy but I do like you LaFemme and I don't like people.

Murray4x5

Funny you should ask.

A couple days ago I was looking at the flowing lines of some small leaves on a low lying branch. In my minds eye I saw the finished print; what large format photographers call pre-visualization. It was the first time since being sober that has happened!

In that instant I knew how I would underexpose the negative a bit, then overdevelop it to increase the contrast, then I would make a special pin registered mask to snap some dark lines into the leaves, another mask to tone down some bright distracting objects on the ground, and how I would burn the prints edges to concentrate the viewer on the leaves.

Towards the end of my drinking days I was making bonehead mistakes at work and was incapable of linking together the interconnected technical steps needed to photograph effectively. That, and I just couldn't "see" anymore.

Today I was walking around, and compositions were coalescing again. I was filled with a deep, warming sensation I've never had before...like a profound joy, thankfulness, and pride all jumbled up.

Still haven't taken a photograph yet, but now that my eyes and mind are working again I'll soon be back in the saddle

gneiss

Wow Murray. That's awesome. That's how you and I are different. You actually see photos and think about them. I pretty much just take the friggin' picture, already, and sometimes it comes out alright. Haha But I do have fun with my photography, I'm just not an artist. Never have been.

Bamboozle

Wanted to poop in and say hello.

Murray4x5

Really? Kinda weird, but if you scoop yer own poop I guess it's okay. Just do it down-wind of the coffee and doughnuts table please!

gneiss

Hey y'all.

All this time and being bored, a little bit ticked off, and having money at the same time is still probably my biggest obstacle to staying clean and sober. And yet, I remain both clean and sober. Today was rough though. I just felt like drinking it off. Sister is on the war path once again. Every couple months she decides to let me know that I'm a trashy loser, then apologizes. And I've accepted her apologies so many times only to have her do it again. Now my entire family is on me to just say I accept the apology. But... really? Why? She doesn't mean it, this will happen again in a couple months. It's been happening for 5 years. I'm tired of being the doormat. She says I'm trash and my job makes me trash and my truck makes me trash (good thing she doesn't know about the dope! Hahaha) and then she calls me up and is all sweetness and light and asks me to take her somewhere (in my trashy truck, paid for by my trashy job).

I'm used to her BS, but I don't understand why my family sides with her. They want me to accept the "apology" and pretend it's all good and drop everything to help her, and I guess they don't really have a problem with her saying I'm trash.

*grumble* Guess I'd better go to bed. Sorry for the rant. I'm at my parents' house for a couple days and it's been such a pleasant visit with my sister's antics. And they wonder why I say 1 good friend is worth 10,000 family members.

oak

I've been doing well this week. I've been getting back into martial arts (aikido) which I love.

I've been alone and therefore could drink without my husband knowing. Yet- I have been sober. I was not sure how it would go. Each evening, staying sober seems better than drinking. I am happy about that.

(Gneiss- Sorry about your sister. That sucks. I'm with you on not pretending it's okay. Protect yourself.)

gneiss

Thanks, Oak. I'm feeling a little better after some sleep.

And good job on staying sober. That's awesome!

jamdls

LMAO! Thank you I need a good laugh this morning!

Bamboozle

I only scoop my cat's poop.


Mine ends with a flush.

windysan

still here, still alive, busy with work

cheerio

Just got my 6 mos, happy as can be! Yippee!!

Murray4x5

That's just awesome

The first six months were pretty long for me, but the second six just whizzed by!!!

raindancer11

Congratulations on 6 months, Cheerio!

gneiss

Every once in a while someone or something sparks in me the desire to go get wasted. But I think I really long for oblivion. Not drunkenness, not the rush of being high. I just really don't want to give a.... ummm.... DUCK about anything or anyone. I'm starting to think my drug problems were caused by a lack of maturity more than anything else, a desire to not be responsible for all this stuff I'm responsible for. Perhaps I just need a vacation.

Zencat

WTG and Congrats Cheerio on your sober time.

HuskyPup

Wow, it has been a long time! I still remember so many of you, good to see you all again. I am making another go at things, taking a mixed approach. I did go to a certain unmentionable agnostic meeting, finally, but will not go into that here, there is a thread on the secular steps if anyone wants to read about it.

But I am also mixing it with elements of SMART, and my own approach of trying to validate myself, and my good qualities, and not beat myself up so much.

Oh, and RIP Amy Winehouse, I will miss you.

This came as a kind of omen to me, I think, odd as that may sound.

gneiss

HP!! Glad you checked in. Good to hear from you. Sounds like a good mix of programs.

And.. yeah Amy Winehouse. Mixed feelings. They tried to make her go to rehab but she said, "no, no, no." Oh.... ouch.

Pleasant evening, everyone!

DoubtfulDebs

hi i'm quite new but i felt a bit the same about amy, she was almost young enough to be my daughter and her death just as i'm finally kicking my own drink problem has resonated in a way, i can't quite sum it up.

debs