Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part VIII
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Wow. I feel kinda popular. I think I'll take random hiatuses more often. Hehehe
I'm fine, I've actually been lurking around, reading and not posting for a while. And even then I've been here every few days. I don't feel comfortable getting on SR from work ("Former Dopehead" wasn't exactly at the top of my resume, after all), and I'm on 12-hour shifts. It's not terribly taxing work, I don't feel burned out, but I'm always ready to sleep when I get home.
And that never happens. One of the guys I work with and I decided to each pay 1/2 for a fishing boat. It's a 1959 aluminum body thing and we have basically taken it down to the bare aluminum and completely reconditioned it, he has fixed the motor so we're getting all of our 35 horsepower out of it, and it's almost ready to take out on the lake. We have to wait for the next paycheck to finish up a few things though, and eventually we'll finish painting it.
So basically it's all fine and dandy. I've spent a fair bit of time contemplating the nature of addiction lately. What I really had to do was force myself to be away from it long enough to break the habits I had when I was addicted. My mind would go to that place, and I had to learn to tell myself not to let it until one day I realized I really didn't think about it anymore.
Anyway... that's all for now. I'm living at the company house and it sounds like my laundry is conflicting with someone's shower. Ha! Better go fix it.
I'm fine, I've actually been lurking around, reading and not posting for a while. And even then I've been here every few days. I don't feel comfortable getting on SR from work ("Former Dopehead" wasn't exactly at the top of my resume, after all), and I'm on 12-hour shifts. It's not terribly taxing work, I don't feel burned out, but I'm always ready to sleep when I get home.
And that never happens. One of the guys I work with and I decided to each pay 1/2 for a fishing boat. It's a 1959 aluminum body thing and we have basically taken it down to the bare aluminum and completely reconditioned it, he has fixed the motor so we're getting all of our 35 horsepower out of it, and it's almost ready to take out on the lake. We have to wait for the next paycheck to finish up a few things though, and eventually we'll finish painting it.
So basically it's all fine and dandy. I've spent a fair bit of time contemplating the nature of addiction lately. What I really had to do was force myself to be away from it long enough to break the habits I had when I was addicted. My mind would go to that place, and I had to learn to tell myself not to let it until one day I realized I really didn't think about it anymore.
Anyway... that's all for now. I'm living at the company house and it sounds like my laundry is conflicting with someone's shower. Ha! Better go fix it.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Thanks LaF. You'll get there... one day at a time? Hahaha
In about 6 weeks I'll be clean for 2 years. It just occurred to me how long it's been. I like it. I don't remember exactly the day I got clean. It was early June. I can't believe it. I don't really think so obsessively about using anymore. Once in a while I have one of those "Man, I could get wasted" moments, but it's a fleeting moment, quickly forgotten. It's amazing. Working, feeling good, meeting friends and men, and doing what I should be doing as a 29-year-old single girl. It's pretty much amazing. Never thought I'd make it so far. Thanks everyone for your help and encouragement along the way!
In about 6 weeks I'll be clean for 2 years. It just occurred to me how long it's been. I like it. I don't remember exactly the day I got clean. It was early June. I can't believe it. I don't really think so obsessively about using anymore. Once in a while I have one of those "Man, I could get wasted" moments, but it's a fleeting moment, quickly forgotten. It's amazing. Working, feeling good, meeting friends and men, and doing what I should be doing as a 29-year-old single girl. It's pretty much amazing. Never thought I'd make it so far. Thanks everyone for your help and encouragement along the way!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Well I was feeling really crappy Saturday night, both physicaly and mentally and on the way home from work I just said f*** it and went back into town and bought some spice. I was tired of feeling crappy and thought it would make me feel better, and it did.
I think I'd been leading up to this with all the binge eating, just another addictive behavior. I am dissipointed in myself, though not completely shocked, I've done it many times before. I did kinda feel like I had it "licked" this time though, I guess not.
Anyway, back up on the horse today, nothing I can do about yesterday, except hopefully learn from it. I'd like to learn how not to get to that place where I feel so lousy that I feel like using is a good option. I have been excersing, medatating, eating better, talking to my theripist and family, but still I ended up where I always do. Suggestions?? Thanks.
I think I'd been leading up to this with all the binge eating, just another addictive behavior. I am dissipointed in myself, though not completely shocked, I've done it many times before. I did kinda feel like I had it "licked" this time though, I guess not.
Anyway, back up on the horse today, nothing I can do about yesterday, except hopefully learn from it. I'd like to learn how not to get to that place where I feel so lousy that I feel like using is a good option. I have been excersing, medatating, eating better, talking to my theripist and family, but still I ended up where I always do. Suggestions?? Thanks.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
At least it truly was a "slip". Back in the saddle and doing better. I'm going to start attending a weekly substance abuse group. Hopefully I'll get something out of it. Thanks for the good thoughts. Take care.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Tyler, more good thoughts for you.
For myself lately I've been wondering if sticking that label, addiction, on my behavior perhaps created a mental block to quitting. The condition itself was a bit of a crutch and excuse not to quit. Not sure...
Great week. I was called back to the office for my 4-month training (and only a month late!). It's a nice break. Instead of being on at 4am and working a 12-14 hour or more shift I go to the office at 8:30am and home by 5:00. They bring my breakfast to the office and take us out for lunch and dinner. The company rents apartments for trainees and a huge house where people on office assignments stay if they live out of town. Due to an abundance of men in training I get to stay at the house, so my housemates this week are the director of safety and director of training. No pressure, right? Lol
I saw today that I have worked 90% of the days I was available for work inthe last 3 months. I've had 9 days off. No one else in the company has worked as much as I have. That explains why I am so tired lately! Lol good night.
For myself lately I've been wondering if sticking that label, addiction, on my behavior perhaps created a mental block to quitting. The condition itself was a bit of a crutch and excuse not to quit. Not sure...
Great week. I was called back to the office for my 4-month training (and only a month late!). It's a nice break. Instead of being on at 4am and working a 12-14 hour or more shift I go to the office at 8:30am and home by 5:00. They bring my breakfast to the office and take us out for lunch and dinner. The company rents apartments for trainees and a huge house where people on office assignments stay if they live out of town. Due to an abundance of men in training I get to stay at the house, so my housemates this week are the director of safety and director of training. No pressure, right? Lol
I saw today that I have worked 90% of the days I was available for work inthe last 3 months. I've had 9 days off. No one else in the company has worked as much as I have. That explains why I am so tired lately! Lol good night.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 207
I am here, after being gone for so long. Some shame of repeating the same mistake over and over mixed in with 'just other things going on'. Crappy day, crappy week, but I survived and feel right where I belong again.
Thanks, Penny.
Thanks, Penny.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by pennywistle 
I am here, after being gone for so long. Some shame of repeating the same mistake over and over mixed in with 'just other things going on'. Crappy day, crappy week, but I survived and feel right where I belong again.
Thanks, Penny.
Thanks, Penny.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
I haven't checked in for awhile. All continues to go well in my recovery. It has been 4 months and 7 days since I used. I continue to attend SMART Recovery, at least one meeting a week. And I've lost 60lbs on my fitness program, 20lbs more to go to hit my weight loss goal. I cannot think of anything that would make me want to drink today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 223
Way to go AnthonyV! those are some nice numbers you have there
I haven't lost too much weight on the scale but I look slimmer, don't know what that is about, maybe an alcoholic bloat situation; that doesn't sound good, glad those days are behind me
I haven't lost too much weight on the scale but I look slimmer, don't know what that is about, maybe an alcoholic bloat situation; that doesn't sound good, glad those days are behind me
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
There definitely is something about the alcoholic bloat. I'm not sure if it's water retention from the alcohol or if the internal tissue and organs are inflamed from the alcohol use but I definitely notice a quick reduction in how "puffy" I looked and felt after only a couple of weeks off the booze.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
checking in, I guess this is day 6 for me. All is well today, it's the first of the month, sounds like a good day to start a gentle fitness and diet program. Gentle because I know if I push to hard I'll get discouraged, slow and steady is the way to go!
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Each drug is cursed with its own problems. I lost weight on dope, and I liked it. Gained it all back and more when I quit. LOL So goes life. I'd rather be... uhhh.... fluffy than on dope.
Glad to hear from some people who haven't posted much lately (like me!). Sounds like a mixed bag out there right now. Get out and enjoy the spring weather (assuming it's nicer than the cold rain we have here today). Take care of yourselves, everyone. There's no problem so big it will be helped by falling off the wagon.
Love and positive thoughts to everyone!
Glad to hear from some people who haven't posted much lately (like me!). Sounds like a mixed bag out there right now. Get out and enjoy the spring weather (assuming it's nicer than the cold rain we have here today). Take care of yourselves, everyone. There's no problem so big it will be helped by falling off the wagon.
Love and positive thoughts to everyone!
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