Checking in.

I finally got up and got going only for my supervisor to call when I was just about to leave and tell me I could have one more day if I wanted it. So I went back to sleep for another couple hours. Haha. Turned into a nice, lazy Saturday for me. As I've started to get a little older I've noticed when I forget medication or stay up too late, or something like that it really hits me. I can't recover from those little things like I used to!

Now I feel old...

I used to work from 10 am to 9 pm go out to 2 am then get up and repeat. I did this every day for 18 months straight when I lived in nyc...I even worked a couple 36 hour shifts....sigh...if I had applied that energy for good instead of evil the world would be a different place...lol:)

39 days sober. I'm feeling great! I've really been getting into the exercise routine, endorphin highs are awesome.

Meh. Just one of those days. It started really well but was downhill from there. I have a friend who is fairly volatile, and he is once again doing his "I never want to talk to you again" thing. He will probably be over it in a few days but the truth is I'm tired of being under his thumb, wondering when he's going to start up again. I'm not so sure I want him around. But mostly I'm tired, and that really didn't put me in the best shape to handle that stupid drama. Worked late last night, woke up early to cover part of a shift, worked my own shift, and now the girl who should have been here at midnight to releive me has the flu so I'm on until at least noon. I'm taking a nap, that's all there is to it! Being tired is hands down one of the hardest things for me to deal with, I get realy emotional and start wishing I had drugs. So far so good but it didn't take me long to puck out the tweakers at work. I wish I couldn't pick them so easily!

Tomorrow is a new day, I don't need the drama in my life from that guy, and I'm not doing drugs. There it is.

Gneiss, Seems to be a lot of folks having a tough time lately. Remember it is only TEMPORARY! Maybe It’s the weather- I don’t know I know I have been fighting depression the last few weeks-months myself. My problems seem to overwhelm me some days. I have to keep reminding myself that it is only temporary, better times ARE coming!
Hang on!

Thanks luckedog. I'm a little hurt by his silly antics, he basically spread around a bunch of manure and now he's mad that some of it got on him. Even if he does get over it I'm not sure I want to deal with it anymore. I dunno, I think overall he's a good person, I'm just worn out on his ridiculous behavior. Still kinda hurts though.

I'm exhausted. Still on shift. I got a little sleep at least, but not nearly enough. I tried to sleep earlier and couldn't. I'm out of groceries in my work trailer so I have to go to town and even that feels like a daunting task. I feel like I'm sort of teetering on the edge, a year ago this time I was having panic attacks and I kinda feel like I'm getting back to that but I don't know why. Love my new job, am happy without all the circus of drugs and people who do them, I'm feeling good about things. I've even been on a couple dates (holy what?!?! Dates?! How did that happen? I swore I was done after the last one). And yet there's always this level of anxiety lurking under the surface. I've been putting off asking a doctor for about a year or more, maybe it's about time. Next paycheck. LOL

Checking in. Just busy, tired, and not much to say lately.

Dang, so sorry that you are struggling with the anxiety/panic gneiss. I think going to see the doctor is a good idea. This reminds me it's time for me to make my appointment.

Thanks for checking in Gneiss:)

Thanks. I've had a bad run with people lately I guess. Get rid of one scum bag and there's always another to take his place. It's temporary. It will pass. And in the meantime I have a few days off work and a friend invited me to sunny New Mexico. Leaving in the morning. Time to recharge the batteries. :)

Enjoy the vacation.

Hi everyone. I like it here, and I really feel it here. I would like to join this thread if that's ok.

Welcome to the secular side pennywistle. Your more than welcome to post and reply as you please here.

Welcome to Secular Recovery...the other SR:)

Activity here comes and goes but its nice and comfy:)

still here. carnival season so not posting much. all is well.

Windy, thanks for checking in. We could use more of your lightheartedness around these parts.

Saw an article on Mardi Gras today and the first thing I thought of was you. So glad to see you check in. We need your spooky avatar now and then.

I avoided dealing with a Drama Queen today. It felt good to be able to let go of her junk instead of becoming involved.

Now off to enjoy my tortilla chips and bean dip. What can I say, I'll always be a Southern Californian in heart.

I think I'll check in and hopefully get this thread up and going again!

...and I meant to write more.
Despite my exuberant tone, I'm pretty depressed and anxious today. I always feel a little on edge and panicky when the season changes. It's in the 'one foot in, one foot out' time and that's exactly the way I feel with the way things are in my life right now. Leaving something behind, but not yet to the next destination. I am just having one of those 'good for nothing' kind of days.