Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part VII
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Thanks Ananda!
I felt a little weird saying 6 months here. I've been off dope, but I've had a few drinks in that time. Still though, I'm more focused on staying off drugs. Part of that is staying away from booze because when I start drinking I want drugs.
This afternoon I was watching the news and they showed some mugshots of people arrested in connection with the murder of a local notable. It was weird, I felt like I was looking into an alternate future for myself. If I stayed on drugs, that could be me. They practically had neon signs proclaiming their status as methies. Gaunt faces, sunken eyes, malnourished. They were probably high when they were booked. I've had a peek into what my future held: meth psychosis, hallucinations, getting pulled over and having to swallow the drugs. When that stuff started was when I realized I had to quit.
Thanks everyone for kicking my butt for the last year plus while I figured out how to stay clean. I don't think I could have made it to 6 months without you.
(((((SC folks))))))
I felt a little weird saying 6 months here. I've been off dope, but I've had a few drinks in that time. Still though, I'm more focused on staying off drugs. Part of that is staying away from booze because when I start drinking I want drugs.
This afternoon I was watching the news and they showed some mugshots of people arrested in connection with the murder of a local notable. It was weird, I felt like I was looking into an alternate future for myself. If I stayed on drugs, that could be me. They practically had neon signs proclaiming their status as methies. Gaunt faces, sunken eyes, malnourished. They were probably high when they were booked. I've had a peek into what my future held: meth psychosis, hallucinations, getting pulled over and having to swallow the drugs. When that stuff started was when I realized I had to quit.
Thanks everyone for kicking my butt for the last year plus while I figured out how to stay clean. I don't think I could have made it to 6 months without you.
(((((SC folks))))))
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Originally Posted by gneiss
6 months.
Originally Posted by Nans
which star are you guys today?????
I feel topsy turvy in a good way.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by gneiss 
Thanks Ananda!
I felt a little weird saying 6 months here. I've been off dope, but I've had a few drinks in that time. Still though, I'm more focused on staying off drugs. Part of that is staying away from booze because when I start drinking I want drugs.
I felt a little weird saying 6 months here. I've been off dope, but I've had a few drinks in that time. Still though, I'm more focused on staying off drugs. Part of that is staying away from booze because when I start drinking I want drugs.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
I hope the "Thanks" button is one of the features that's coming back!!!
Thanks Tyler, and congrats on your 8 months! That's wonderful. And thanks Zen.
I don't keep exact track either, it doesn't help me. But I remember because I had a lot of insanity last spring and summer and in the middle of all the insanity I fell off the wagon. A couple days later I went on a road trip just to get away from all the druggies I know, and met up with an old friend who has himself been off dope for 13 years.
Aside from SC he's become my support system through this. I've found it's important for me to have someone tell me I'm not a loser, because I'll start to feel like a loser because I want drugs and then I do drugs to get my mind off the fact that I feel like a loser. It basically becomes self-fulfilling. Tricky little mind game with myself there, and no matter what I end up losing the game. Is it Bam's tag line? The only winning move is not to play. So he reminds me I'm not a loser, I'm an addict and there's a distinct difference.
In a testament to what I can do when I'm not on drugs, I just got my grades back for the semester. Two A's, one B. I have a 3.8 cumulative GPA and best of all I'm off academic probation. That B was the hardest class I have ever taken. I feel pretty good tonight.
Thanks Tyler, and congrats on your 8 months! That's wonderful. And thanks Zen.
I don't keep exact track either, it doesn't help me. But I remember because I had a lot of insanity last spring and summer and in the middle of all the insanity I fell off the wagon. A couple days later I went on a road trip just to get away from all the druggies I know, and met up with an old friend who has himself been off dope for 13 years.
Aside from SC he's become my support system through this. I've found it's important for me to have someone tell me I'm not a loser, because I'll start to feel like a loser because I want drugs and then I do drugs to get my mind off the fact that I feel like a loser. It basically becomes self-fulfilling. Tricky little mind game with myself there, and no matter what I end up losing the game. Is it Bam's tag line? The only winning move is not to play. So he reminds me I'm not a loser, I'm an addict and there's a distinct difference.
In a testament to what I can do when I'm not on drugs, I just got my grades back for the semester. Two A's, one B. I have a 3.8 cumulative GPA and best of all I'm off academic probation. That B was the hardest class I have ever taken. I feel pretty good tonight.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
I remember the funny machine to clean chalkboard erasers. I loved running that thing. I was nerdy enough to want to do it but too shy to raise my hand when the teacher wanted someone to go clean the erasers.
I have another confession for SC: I dated Tiger Woods.
(This is a great game. I played it all day at work.)
I have another confession for SC: I dated Tiger Woods.
(This is a great game. I played it all day at work.)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,899
Originally Posted by gneiss
Tiger Woods. (This is a great game. I played it all day at work.)
(This is a great game. I played it all day at work.)
Gneiss.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Back to mom's from my house....we go back to my house I think sunday or monday...we are playing musical houses....
I have a sinus infection and feel like
oh no....the more smiley function isn't working, just like the thanks
anyways...hope to post some tomarrow night...
I have a sinus infection and feel like
oh no....the more smiley function isn't working, just like the thanks
anyways...hope to post some tomarrow night...
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Bam, I'm getting worried about my level of involvement on FarmVille (a game on F@cebook). It's like my replacement addiction. Who knew growing digital poinsettias could be so fun?
So last night I got a call completely out of the blue (not even sure how he got my new number) from this crazy guy who, for many months, used his amazing powers of manipulation to get me to buy him dope. He had free dope for me last night. I said no thanks but he kept up, texting me and calling about 40 times even once I stopped answering. So I decided to leave town because I was actually worried he might come over. That turned out well! Haha I ended up in the middle of a fight between a friend and his girlfriend. Oops. Still better than dopeheads offering me freebies.
On the way home today, in a 15-minute stretch, I ended up in the ditch 2 times. Both times I came over a blind hill and someone in the oncoming lane was passing in a no passing zone. And in an amazing display of nerves getting the best of me, I pulled onto a side road and called my mom crying. Didn't sleep much last night, I guess I couldn't take two near misses on top of it. I'm glad to be home.
So last night I got a call completely out of the blue (not even sure how he got my new number) from this crazy guy who, for many months, used his amazing powers of manipulation to get me to buy him dope. He had free dope for me last night. I said no thanks but he kept up, texting me and calling about 40 times even once I stopped answering. So I decided to leave town because I was actually worried he might come over. That turned out well! Haha I ended up in the middle of a fight between a friend and his girlfriend. Oops. Still better than dopeheads offering me freebies.
On the way home today, in a 15-minute stretch, I ended up in the ditch 2 times. Both times I came over a blind hill and someone in the oncoming lane was passing in a no passing zone. And in an amazing display of nerves getting the best of me, I pulled onto a side road and called my mom crying. Didn't sleep much last night, I guess I couldn't take two near misses on top of it. I'm glad to be home.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
gneiss (hug) sounds scarry!
Bam....yeah...the computer can take over my life if I'm not careful...trying to balance my social/recovery life between written friendship and oral friendships
I wouldn't consider giving up one for the other....just want a nice balance that will work for me.
Bam....yeah...the computer can take over my life if I'm not careful...trying to balance my social/recovery life between written friendship and oral friendships
I wouldn't consider giving up one for the other....just want a nice balance that will work for me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
I am with you on farmville, I actually had to delete the app a couple of weeks ago because I was getting obsessed (same with the cafe one).
Well done for getting away from the pusher, unfortunately booze is being pushed (advertised) like mad this time of year.
The real message of Christmas seems to be, get drunk
Well done for getting away from the pusher, unfortunately booze is being pushed (advertised) like mad this time of year.
The real message of Christmas seems to be, get drunk
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
*chirp chirp* I hear crickets in here again.
I'm with you on the booze, allport. It's hard to ignore it this time of year. It's way easier to avoid dope; it's not advertised on TV.
Happy Solstice, everyone. It's officially winter... which explains why it was 60-something degrees and I had the windows open today.
I'm with you on the booze, allport. It's hard to ignore it this time of year. It's way easier to avoid dope; it's not advertised on TV.
Happy Solstice, everyone. It's officially winter... which explains why it was 60-something degrees and I had the windows open today.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Going good here. I work in retail sales, so I'm pretty busy around this time of year. My son is coming to visit tomorrow through xmas eve, so that's cool. Probably the first xmas ever I've been clean around him. Take care all.
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
I hated working retail, but especially around Christmas. As if the customers weren't bad enough, you're forced to listen to Christmas carols during your entire shift. Miserable. The cheesy music that was on the PA the rest of the year was easy to ignore but those carols would work their way into your brain.
Last night the dope pusher guy I mentioned was at it again, calling me, telling me he had some dope. I decided to stay home this time, and if he showed up I was going to call the police. I'm tired of the games. About 30 minutes after he quit calling me I heard a knock on the door. I thought, "Here he is. It's on." I grabbed my phone and looked through the peep hole. And there on my porch was my old coke dealer. He brought me a Christmas present. WTF? How often does the guy you bought coke from bring you a Christmas present? I guess I should be glad it wasn't a bag of coke (though proving he could get some laughs out of it he did include a bottle of Coca-Cola... that was pretty funny).
Better get to work. *Sigh*
Last night the dope pusher guy I mentioned was at it again, calling me, telling me he had some dope. I decided to stay home this time, and if he showed up I was going to call the police. I'm tired of the games. About 30 minutes after he quit calling me I heard a knock on the door. I thought, "Here he is. It's on." I grabbed my phone and looked through the peep hole. And there on my porch was my old coke dealer. He brought me a Christmas present. WTF? How often does the guy you bought coke from bring you a Christmas present? I guess I should be glad it wasn't a bag of coke (though proving he could get some laughs out of it he did include a bottle of Coca-Cola... that was pretty funny).
Better get to work. *Sigh*
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by gneiss
I hated working retail, but especially around Christmas. As if the customers weren't bad enough, you're forced to listen to Christmas carols during your entire shift. Miserable. The cheesy music that was on the PA the rest of the year was easy to ignore but those carols would work their way into your brain.
On the plus side, I am comissioned sales, so this is not a bad time money wise for me. I'll put up with the chaos for a few weeks to bank some extra dollars.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by tyler
Somehow our Xmas CD got "lost" until last week...what a shame!!! A week of Christmas tunes was about right for me.
On the plus side, I am comissioned sales, so this is not a bad time money wise for me. I'll put up with the chaos for a few weeks to bank some extra dollars.
On the plus side, I am comissioned sales, so this is not a bad time money wise for me. I'll put up with the chaos for a few weeks to bank some extra dollars.
Glad to read that you are going to do well the next couple weeks. That always helps.
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