Zencat

BuddhaNet has lots of good stuff with free BuddhaNet's eBooks

After having some clean time the urges to use dope quieted down for me. That was a relief to know that my urges to use would lessen over time. And your right, just because the urge to use can be strong and resisting it uncomfortable, ultimately the choice to act is yours. Keep going forward with your recovery.

SalParadise1951

So I'm about to return to the Unitarian Church tomorrow. Mods, you needn't delete or move this post as I am still I committed agnostic, whatever that means Anyway, I'm a bit nervous about the whole deal. I left the church because I couldn't bear to show up hungover if and when I could get out of bed on a Sunday. The principles of the church have been a source of inspiration for me despite my severed ties but nowadays I feel like I need to get some hustle behind my muscle. I spoke with our pastor and she is more than happy to have us back. Still, walking back in there is not going to be an easy thing to do.

Anyway I'm fighting some urges right now. I haven't had any in a while. Its like there was a weird knock at the door and as I cracked the door my addiction poked its head in and said "what's going on?" This preoccupation isn't very intense and I'll get through it. I think it has to due with the fact that I finally have a job that doesn't require me to work every weekend. On top of this, my wife's off with some friends and on top of that some friends of mine are all getting together tonight to have some drinks. Given the situation, I'm extremely glad that I made the commitment to attend services tomorrow morning. I think I'll just sit back, listen to some tunes and kick it with my beagle. I guess I can do some more work on the CBA I started the other day too.

shockozulu

Sal, no need to "delete" or "move" your post. This forum is for people working a secular program of recovery. For example, I am a religious person, but I work the Secular program known as SMART.

As for the agnostic going to unitarian church, I had a very good agnostic friend who attended that church for much of his life.

allport

Hey Sal this isn't the atheist forum you know (although I am an atheist ) its just a place for people who don't think god or a higher power plays any part in not drinking.

Doesn't matter if you are posting from the popes kitchen

Bamboozle

Hey all.

Work sucks. Too much drama. I work with some really immature people (and for me to say that it has to be bad...with me laughing at fart jokes and all...). One of the adults is acting like an 8 year old. It was bad Thrusday...long story...if you want to read it look in the Whiner's thread (probably my last post there).

I think I have a cold...sinus infection...something. My snot's all green...my throat is a little sore and a little tight. I have to be at work in less than 3 hours and I know if I fall back asleep I won't want to get up. I'm going to be a zombie today.

Looking forward to the upcoming food holiday...not that I need to eat more.

gneiss

Nothing like munching on a pizza and reading about green snot. Haha. Hope you feel better soon, Bam.

It's great here. I enjoyed waking up sober this morning. I've been doing that consistently for a while now but this morning I really appreciate it. I stayed in bed, I'm late for work, and instead of rushing out the door I opened the windows (never know how many more times I'll be able to do that before the weather gets yucky), cooked a pizza, and got online. Are you convinced yet, I have no work ethic? As long as I show up at some point and get my work done my boss doesn't complain. It's nice to relax before this next week. I realize I have three days off for Thanksgiving but I have a TON of homework to do. No rest for the weary; I can't wait for the end of the semester.

SalParadise1951

Had a thoroughly enjoyable morning at church. We travel a bit to get there but it was a nice drive due to the pleasant weather. We made an awesome pineapple and fire-roasted pepper pizza for lunch. Now time its time for some football. Its amazing how much I now appreciate a Sunday that's neither plagued by a hangover nor by back-breaking labor. Actually, I guess its not all that amazing. Its pretty simple, i.e., the way things should be.

Asta1

Morning all! Feeling more positive today than the last couple of days. The sun is shining. Yay!! Yesterday I started reading The Small Book by Jack Trimpey. What a refreshing read!! I had insomnia for a good portion of the night and kept reading. Not sure if it was the fact that the book was holding my interest kept me awake or not. I finally put it down and just shut my eyes trying to get some (at least in name) "shut eye." For those who might not be familiar, it is a rational recovery approach alternative to AA. I'm pretty sure Alera is our house expert on the subject if anyone has any questions. (I'm just a newbie to this concept.) Hope everyone has a great day!

Zencat

Here in Redondo Beach now with my new mini-laptop...yea cool. So far so good...I'm not much for traveling away from home these days. Yet it is nice to visit family and there's no drinking and drugging here, also nice.

gneiss

I had lots of fun today at school. After class I worked in the geochemistry lab for a while. I've never worked in that lab before and it was so fun! I really hated the geochem classes I've taken but working in the lab was cool. I got to play with test tubes full of steaming acid, so no complaints there. Weird moment though: I was cleaning out a test tube, stuffing a tissue into it to dry it out and for just a second I felt like I was cleaning out a meth pipe. And it didn't help that I was measuring white powder (Calcium Carbonate) into the tubes to begin with. Sometimes I find myself wondering how many of the other students could appreciate that moment. You know it's the ones no one suspects. Like me!

This week is going to be difficult for me, I think. I know where my old coke dealer lives (I ran into him at the store and he mentioned where he's living now. It really is weird, I run into him everywhere around town), I get paid early because of the holiday, and I'm on my own until Sunday. Well, Thursday of course I have Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' church but other than that I'm off work, have money, and I'm bored. It's a bad combination. I'm trying to make plans, spread my homework out through the week, and I even talked my mom into renting movies tomorrow and we will watch them. But I think I'm going to have to fight it off a bit anyway.

Asta1

Gneiss, Have any friends you could hang out with that don't use? What about doing some shopping for the holidays, ANY holiday. If you don't normally give any presents or send holiday cards, this may be the year to start. It will make people sit up and wonder, WTF?
For me, my older sister & I haven't spoke for years (somewhat estranged). We send each other obligatory BD, anniv, & holiday cards but that's about it. I guess some of my resentment toward her is waning because I actually ordered a couple of things for her and her husband online this year and will wrap & send them. She'll probably faint. Also gonna send some items to her twin boys this year, which I normally never do. I just feel more generous this year. I'm pretty much convinced the sobriety is having an impact here.

No matter how you spend your time, I hope it is a sober weekend for you.:ghug2

gneiss

Asta, unfortunately I live in a college town. Most of my friends have already left for the week. I'm working tomorrow all day, and I invited a Chinese girl from class to Thanksgiving dinner since she was going to be in town all by herself all week. Friday I made plans to work on a group project since most of my group had to stick around (the fume hoods in the labs were out of commission for a couple days so a bunch of the grad students have a 2-day backlog of research now). I have an exam Monday after break and a bunch of end-of-semester tidbits to get done. So I think I'll be ok as long as I keep on my homework. I can't afford to skip it this late in the semester and that's actually been pretty good motivation for me to stay clean; school is that important to me. However, I still have to fight with myself about it.

And I'm avoiding the stores as much as possible. Black Friday makes me hate Christmas all the more. I know it's like being against Abe Lincoln and puppies, but I really don't like Christmas. I actually think I have seasonal depression, I usually want to shut myself in a room and not talk to anyone from Halloween through Valentine's Day.

But... I just have to man up and stay sober. That's what it comes down to. No drugs, no booze.

shockozulu

You mean I'm not the only one who HATES Black Friday? Glad to read that I'm not alone on that one, gneiss.

Asta1

I hate crowds period. I just thought that if gneiss was going to be aimless, fighting thru crowds would be a good distraction. Living on the Oregon coast in a very small community with no real shopping withing a reasonable driving distance, I do a LOT of shopping online. It's so convenient!

You wouldn't catch me near a mall or similar this weekend. In fact, I pretty much have my shopping done except for my husband. Haven't the foggiest what to do there.

gneiss

A friend's mom works at Wal-Mart here in town. No kidding, the last 2 Black Fridays she's come home with black eyes. It's ridiculous. Merry Christmas, eh? It makes me despair of the species.

gneiss

Going strong. Money supply intact, bills paid, research projects in process. I killed a few trees today printing off articles to finish my homework, and in a little while I can leave work, go home and finish some homework. In the meantime... I have an hour and a half to thumb twiddle and play around on Facebook. Send me an IM and you can be my neighbor on Farm Town. I'm about to level up but I need more neighbors. It's either that or Facebook Poker; but I'm kinda bored with poker at the moment.

Yeah, work on campus the first day of Thanksgiving break... quality time with Facebook. *Yawn*

Asta1

gneiss, You are a busy little worker bee, aren't you? Good for you! Keeping busy really helps me, that's for sure.

I am on Facebook but really haven't heard of FarmTown. Googled it. Do I have to fill out an application? Looks like it.

I'll be around this weekend. Not much planned except to cook & chow down. No liquor in the house and no shopping trips planned. Most of the time my husband goes shopping with me anyway. He is retired & I am semi-retired. I pretty much only work during tax season doing tax returns.

Hope you all have a nice holiday.

gneiss

Asta, Farm Town is an application. That doesn't mean you have to fill out an application. It's just a game. It's a good way to waste time at work though.

I don't have much planned for the next couple days. My parents' church does potluck Thanksgiving because nobody has family around here. It's a small church and well over half moved here to work at the university, so they get together for dinner. That is my major event. However, I have oodles of homework and lots of time to do it.

Have a great holiday, I'll probably check in at some point. Depends how wrapped-up in the homework I become

Bamboozle

Happy food day, everyone.

Just baked a couple of frozen pumpkin pies...and I got lazy and left them in there a little too long. Oops. I managed to keep the crusts from not getting burned by using some foil, but the tops of the pies have some slightly charred spots...er...areas:




Hopefully they won't be chewy. The "holes" were from me digging with a toothpick to see how bad the damage was. Meh...


Anyone hear from Phal?

Asta1

Bambz-- Those pies look positively - ummm - interesting. Maybe if you put the filling in the blender or food processor, warmed it up and put some ice cream on top? You could crumble up the crust and sprinkle it on top!

If you're doing turkey, you'll be so full you probably won't even want dessert anyway!

Everyone have a nice day tomorrow.