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Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part VII

Old 01-22-2010, 01:39 PM
  # 221 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Alera View Post
Tell me where to find these guys that are willing to go out to dinner? They know I'm into things Bond, Computer Science, gaming, baseball and politics. I'm lucky to get a first date
You know what most guys want for a date, though... they want a ditzy easy girl, not someone who will stimulate them intellectually.

Gneiss is is a better position because she's already surrounded by more intellectually-aware males.

I was always in the same boat... the girls wanted the box of rocks with a nice haircut a stubbly chin and a degree in business (if anything at all). Not the hairy, leather-clad dude who talked about science and philosophy.

In the end I refused to change myself for them, and I'm very happy about that. I figure, let the ditzes have each other. I'll find someone worthwhile.

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Old 01-22-2010, 01:50 PM
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Good to see you Goat.
Originally Posted by Goat View Post
You know what most guys want for a date, though... they want a ditzy easy girl, not someone who will stimulate them intellectually.

Gneiss is is a better position because she's already surrounded by more intellectually-aware males.

I was always in the same boat... the girls wanted the box of rocks with a nice haircut a stubbly chin and a degree in business (if anything at all). Not the hairy, leather-clad dude who talked about science and philosophy.

In the end I refused to change myself for them, and I'm very happy about that. I figure, let the ditzes have each other. I'll find someone worthwhile.

-Goat
You are so right on about Gneiss being in a better situation. When I studied Computer Science less than ten years ago, I was literally the only girl in all of my courses outside of CompSci 101. Things have really changed according to industry magazines and my friends in that field. Not great, but much better.

I'm so glad to hear you refused to change yourself. One of my dear male friends is also a hairy, leather-clad dude who talks about science and philosophy.

Okay, time to get off the board. My plugged ear is acting up again, and now its making me sick to my stomach. If I ended up with an infection while waiting for the ear wax softening drops to work, I'll be so angry!
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Alera View Post
Good to see you Goat.
Heh, sorry -- I read every day but I don't always reply... I'm still feeling like I'm eavesdropping on this party

Originally Posted by Alera View Post
You are so right on about Gneiss being in a better situation. When I studied Computer Science less than ten years ago, I was literally the only girl in all of my courses outside of CompSci 101. Things have really changed according to industry magazines and my friends in that field. Not great, but much better.
It's better, yes. Not where it should be, but better. Offices with nothing but geeky guys are boring anyway.

-Goat
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:34 PM
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I changed my mind....that post was just TMI
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Old 01-22-2010, 02:58 PM
  # 225 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ananda View Post
I changed my mind....that post was just TMI
Understand. Sorry if I stepped on any toes, and remember my PM box is always open.
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Old 01-22-2010, 03:03 PM
  # 226 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Goat View Post
Heh, sorry -- I read every day but I don't always reply... I'm still feeling like I'm eavesdropping on this party



It's better, yes. Not where it should be, but better. Offices with nothing but geeky guys are boring anyway.

-Goat
You aren't eavesdropping. I am a lurker on a couple other non-recovery boards, and completely understand.

As for the IT industry, I completely agree that its not close to where it should be, but we are making headway.

BTW, the hairy, leather-clad friend I talked about? He used to work in IT!:rotfxko Had a ponytail that was at least down to the lower half of his shoulder-blades.
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Old 01-22-2010, 07:51 PM
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Hello! Its nice to see everyone is still here! I had to take a break from the forums because I started heavily abusing opiates and drinking a lot but I want to try again. I really want to clean up my life..but I still have mixed feelings about what "addiction" really is.. Obviously that came through in my other posts.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well and I'll check in more frequently now.
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Old 01-22-2010, 09:19 PM
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Welcome back!! BTW, just because you are using doesn't mean you still can't be part of the group, sometimes that's when you need this place the most. Take care.
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Old 01-22-2010, 10:25 PM
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Glad you are back erocia...sometimes we have to use or drink in order to find out what addiction really is...especially those of us who insist on our own expereince

I was out for the most part August thru December.....It's dangerous and I wish I could have done my learning some other way, but...I'm here now...and that was the path I had to take to get here

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Old 01-22-2010, 10:56 PM
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Welcome back Eroica - and I second Tyler in what he said about always being part of the group here

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Old 01-23-2010, 12:03 AM
  # 231 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Alera View Post
Good to see you Goat.
You are so right on about Gneiss being in a better situation. When I studied Computer Science less than ten years ago, I was literally the only girl in all of my courses outside of CompSci 101. Things have really changed according to industry magazines and my friends in that field. Not great, but much better.

I'm so glad to hear you refused to change yourself. One of my dear male friends is also a hairy, leather-clad dude who talks about science and philosophy.

Okay, time to get off the board. My plugged ear is acting up again, and now its making me sick to my stomach. If I ended up with an infection while waiting for the ear wax softening drops to work, I'll be so angry!
slow down! My classes consist of 70% men. I don't get asked out. I'm a good friend, a smart girl, pretty, a good person. I'm never someone to ask out though. Men don't talk to me, and if I talk to them they usually find an excuse to leave. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've spent a lot of time and tears trying to figure it out and never found a good answer. Whatever it is that guys like, I don't have, regardless of what my guy friends tell me. My "intellectually aware" male friends like redneck chicks with big boobs and skimpy shirts.

And for the record, the leather-clad guy in the corner is generally the guy I wish I could be bold enough to talk to (though truth be told the few times I've made an approach it hasn't gone well). Let the others have the abercrombie model with strategically shaven stubble. Talk nerdy to me! Lol

eroica, I'm happy to see you on again. I missed you! We will take you in whatever condition. Glad you want to try again, it's a learning process and sometimes going back to it is part of the lesson.

I need some sleep.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:31 AM
  # 232 (permalink)  
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Eroica, good to read you. gneiss, looking forward to replying to your post as soon as I can.

Ever since I got the ear wax softening drops today, my ear is so much worse. I can't turn my head up or down, right or left without feeling like I'm on a boat in shaky waters. It hurts like hell as well. UGH! Even my cat is trying to take care of me. Can't even sit in our living room chairs as they have a slight rock to them.

Too sick to sleep at this point, so I'm enjoying my audiobook of Live and Let Die. Fleming has a way of describing things so I can see something without opening my eyes and getting sick.

Okay, back to the book. Hope you all have a good morning.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:05 AM
  # 233 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by gneiss View Post
I've spent a lot of time and tears trying to figure it out and never found a good answer. Whatever it is that guys like, I don't have, regardless of what my guy friends tell me.
Perhaps they see you as too far out of their league.

There was a gorgeous girl in my physics classes with all the characteristics you use to describe yourself... We all wanted badly to ask her out, but we were all way too convinced she'd want nothing to do with us.

-Goat
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:50 PM
  # 234 (permalink)  
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Thanks for petting my ego, Goat!

I am fairly shy so that's probably part of it. And I don't think I'm especially pretty, I think my friends are being nice about that. I'm just sort of plain. *shrug*

And then I think I'm 7 months along, maybe I shouldn't worry about it. Falling for a boy is what started the whole drug thing anyway, maybe i'm better off on my own. But then that's not much fun.
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:57 PM
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Hey gneiss! I can kinda relate, except I consider myself to be average in the looks and intelligence department. Thats what perplexes me-there are so many regular-looking people that are able to attract people-but no one approaches me. And I smile all the time, say hi to people, etc. What's wrong with me? lol
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Eroica View Post
Hey gneiss! I can kinda relate, except I consider myself to be average in the looks and intelligence department. Thats what perplexes me-there are so many regular-looking people that are able to attract people-but no one approaches me. And I smile all the time, say hi to people, etc. What's wrong with me? lol
well see, I'm reasonably smart but I'm not applying for Mensa any time soon. And plain sort of averageness looks-wise. Those listed above are things my friends have said about me. So if they actually think those things I shouldn't have a problem. Alas, I am perpetually single.
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Old 01-23-2010, 04:04 PM
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Still down with the ear thing. Watching Timothy Dalton's Bond with closed captioning while laying down here, Its quite funny to see a whole orchestra play sideways, but better than getting sick from having my head up.

Somehow I have to get to the grocery store in the next couple hours.
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Old 01-23-2010, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by gneiss View Post
well see, I'm reasonably smart but I'm not applying for Mensa any time soon. And plain sort of averageness looks-wise. Those listed above are things my friends have said about me. So if they actually think those things I shouldn't have a problem. Alas, I am perpetually single.
Uh huh, now you're being modest

My issue was that I was always a great friend but never boyfriend material. I'm like every girl's gay friend -- which is all well and good, except for the fact that I'm straight...

Alera, that ear thing sounds like zero fun at all... I hope it clears up in a hurry! I've been told that dramamine II (the one with meclizine in it -- the other one doesn't work) can really help with vertigo and some kinds of dizziness. But I'm not a doc so I'm not giving advice or anything :-D

-Goat
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:04 PM
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well....I don't know...I'm not really gonna focus on fixing me so someone will find me worthy....i want to do that, but its silly and sensless for me....neer has worked and i don't think it ever will.

I have a major resentment about the single situation these days, but i just try to set it aside and focus on whts ok about my life, and remember (eventhough it isn't what i want...) I was very happy and fufilled for many years with out any thought, desire or anything for a relationship....

I don't wanna go back to that...but I am pretty sure I can if need be.
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Old 01-24-2010, 07:16 PM
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Where is everyone? This place seems so dead. I'm drinking green tea right now with a hint of lemon. One of my goals is to try as many different kinds of tea and cheeses before I die. And I'm not talking about herbal tea, but REAL tea. There are so many different varieties!

I have a list of all the cheeses I've tried-havarti, gorganzola, edam, brie, chevre, manchego, muenster, etc. When I go to the grocey store I'll pick up a cheese and then add it to my list. I've discovered that specialty cheeses are so much more flavorful than the shredded/sliced Kraft stuff. There is just no comparison.
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