This one's for the heathens
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Bring it up, Bam. You should feel comfortable bringing up ANYTHING. If you're not.....you need a new therapist.
I think I just said the same thing everybody else did.
btw...don't know what else is going on in your world, but your posts are sounding very 'healthy'....not sure if that's the word I want. I'm trying to say you're sounding Really Good!
I think I just said the same thing everybody else did.
btw...don't know what else is going on in your world, but your posts are sounding very 'healthy'....not sure if that's the word I want. I'm trying to say you're sounding Really Good!
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Originally Posted by coffeenut 
btw...don't know what else is going on in your world, but your posts are sounding very 'healthy'....not sure if that's the word I want. I'm trying to say you're sounding Really Good!
Oh, I hope so. I'm trying.
I'll do what I did with some other topics...I'll write out everything I want to say and she can read it...then we'll talk.
Is it hot here or am I crazy?
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Planet Zirchon 9 (which is near Milwaukee, WI.)
Posts: 38
Hi Bamboozle,
Interesting topic for a 'Sunday' morning. Here are some of my pea-brained thoughts on the subject.
Books and specific religious rules are written by humans based upon their interpretations. Nothing wrong with asking questions. But it is counterproductive to argue or attempt to dissuade others from their religious beliefs.
God does not meddle in the personal affairs of Her followers or dissenters. A loving God shows no favoritism. God is busy making sure that nature and the universe function properly.
Organized religion is used to instruct (and instill fear into) those incapable of governing themselves in a civil fashion.
Live your faith. Draw me in by living as an example, not by pounding it down my throat.
Embrace your Deity for love and spiritual guidance.
As for me, I am attempting to treat my fellow man with dignity and respect to the best of my abilities.
Raised Catholic - living agnostic.
Disclaimer: These statements are my own personal opinion and I reserve the right to be wrong.
Interesting topic for a 'Sunday' morning. Here are some of my pea-brained thoughts on the subject.
Books and specific religious rules are written by humans based upon their interpretations. Nothing wrong with asking questions. But it is counterproductive to argue or attempt to dissuade others from their religious beliefs.
God does not meddle in the personal affairs of Her followers or dissenters. A loving God shows no favoritism. God is busy making sure that nature and the universe function properly.
Organized religion is used to instruct (and instill fear into) those incapable of governing themselves in a civil fashion.
Live your faith. Draw me in by living as an example, not by pounding it down my throat.
Embrace your Deity for love and spiritual guidance.
As for me, I am attempting to treat my fellow man with dignity and respect to the best of my abilities.
Raised Catholic - living agnostic.
Disclaimer: These statements are my own personal opinion and I reserve the right to be wrong.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 7
Hi
I consider myself to be a somewhat religious person, however...
It is OK for you to bash religion all you want in therapy. It wouldn't be therapeutic if you couldn't.
My point is that you are there to talk about whatever you need to. Unless you are personally attacking the therapist, they will be able to handle it. Yhe things we come up with reasons not to talk about are probably the things that we need to get out the most urgently.
It is OK for you to bash religion all you want in therapy. It wouldn't be therapeutic if you couldn't.
My point is that you are there to talk about whatever you need to. Unless you are personally attacking the therapist, they will be able to handle it. Yhe things we come up with reasons not to talk about are probably the things that we need to get out the most urgently.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I thought therapy was all about stirring through our belief systems and trying to work out the kinks and missing links and reorder them to a rational functional system to live by.
As far as I know, Bam, when in depth therapy was the thing, rather than the faster cognitive approach, it was always crucial at some point to address one's religious beliefs and the beliefs that were ingrained into us.
And our sexuality is such an integral part of our being.
I thought about editing out the word "kinks" but I think you know me well enough that I didn't mean it in any way towards you and then when I saw it, I thought it was a funny pun.
For you a kink would be trying to bend you into someone you are not, whether it is sex, religion or whatever else.
hugs,
live
As far as I know, Bam, when in depth therapy was the thing, rather than the faster cognitive approach, it was always crucial at some point to address one's religious beliefs and the beliefs that were ingrained into us.
And our sexuality is such an integral part of our being.
I thought about editing out the word "kinks" but I think you know me well enough that I didn't mean it in any way towards you and then when I saw it, I thought it was a funny pun.
For you a kink would be trying to bend you into someone you are not, whether it is sex, religion or whatever else.
hugs,
live
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
We talked about it...a little.
She interrupted me and began talking about parents reinforcing the idea of Santa Claus. I interrupted her and told her it's not the same. One's a lie about a fat jolly man bringing presents. The other is a lie about eternal damnation. I was never afraid of Santa Clause. The other? I was so afraid I lived in a total cocoon for nearly 20 years…and I’ve been doing my best to break out of it for the last 8. It’s hard work…it involves changing my personality. I’ve had to un-learn everything and build myself up from the bottom. Not much happened during those last 8 years…I spent that drinking. Most of the work I’ve done has been during the last six months.
I think if I were to talk about this I’d have to talk to someone who is an atheist who went through what I’m going through.
I know I’ll get through this. I’m finding out that I’m a strong person.
I suppose what p!sses me off the most about this is that some kids are still being force-fed this crap. They are growing up right now hating who they are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. It’s very sad…and completely unnecessary.
She interrupted me and began talking about parents reinforcing the idea of Santa Claus. I interrupted her and told her it's not the same. One's a lie about a fat jolly man bringing presents. The other is a lie about eternal damnation. I was never afraid of Santa Clause. The other? I was so afraid I lived in a total cocoon for nearly 20 years…and I’ve been doing my best to break out of it for the last 8. It’s hard work…it involves changing my personality. I’ve had to un-learn everything and build myself up from the bottom. Not much happened during those last 8 years…I spent that drinking. Most of the work I’ve done has been during the last six months.
I think if I were to talk about this I’d have to talk to someone who is an atheist who went through what I’m going through.
I know I’ll get through this. I’m finding out that I’m a strong person.
I suppose what p!sses me off the most about this is that some kids are still being force-fed this crap. They are growing up right now hating who they are and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. It’s very sad…and completely unnecessary.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
For me, when it comes to any kind of personal growth / personal healing work -- be it in a therapist's office or in any other context -- it's only going to work for me insofar as I am able to bring up whatever comes up for me as it comes up and in exactly the way it comes up....and that means that I often have to be able to talk -- or express in some other way if "talk" isn't appropriate to or possible given the magnitude of my emotions around the issue -- about things that I might not be able to talk about anyplace else or in a way that would be totally inappropriate in most other contexts.
The closer I can get to "putting it out there exactly as I experience it and feel about it," the more thoroughly and the more accurately I'm going to be able to deal with it and work it through. Holding pieces back -- either in terms of information/facts or in terms of how I express my deepest feelings related to those facts, only holds me back and compromises my healing process. And doing so would be like taking one of your photographs and cutting huge holes in it all over the place and then expecting yourself or anyone else to be able to "see" what's really there.
The really s*cky thing about all this, of course, is that the worse /more core / more painful the "issue" is, both the more important it is that I bring it up exactly as it is and the harder / more uncomfortable it is to do so. In fact, for me, it has always been the case that the hardest, most uncomfortable things are the most important to bring up / get out and the hardest, most painful to work through, but they are also the ones that, once I've gotten through them, lead to the greatest healing.
There are a couple of other benefits to being rigorously honest in this way, too. The first is, once you've gotten it out there -- and especially if you've gotten it out there in front of someone who's earned your trust -- it really does lose so much of it's power over you. Just that one piece is hugely liberating. Also, chances are, if the person/persons you choose to share it with are truly worthy of the honor you bestow upon them by doing so (and this level of trust and honesty really is an honor not to be bestowed lightly), she (or he or they) will most likely be able to "normalize" whatever you're dealing with for you to a certain extent. In other words, she'll be able to, in some way, let you know that whatever it is you're sharing about is not anywhere near as terrible or horrifying or dasterdly or unique or whatever as you fear it is.
The second and very, very important thing is that it is only by getting this kind of stuff out and out of our way that we make room for the universe to give us whatever gifts it has to give us to take its place...because, when we cling to our garbage, we limit our ability to receive and to hold better things.
freya
The closer I can get to "putting it out there exactly as I experience it and feel about it," the more thoroughly and the more accurately I'm going to be able to deal with it and work it through. Holding pieces back -- either in terms of information/facts or in terms of how I express my deepest feelings related to those facts, only holds me back and compromises my healing process. And doing so would be like taking one of your photographs and cutting huge holes in it all over the place and then expecting yourself or anyone else to be able to "see" what's really there.
The really s*cky thing about all this, of course, is that the worse /more core / more painful the "issue" is, both the more important it is that I bring it up exactly as it is and the harder / more uncomfortable it is to do so. In fact, for me, it has always been the case that the hardest, most uncomfortable things are the most important to bring up / get out and the hardest, most painful to work through, but they are also the ones that, once I've gotten through them, lead to the greatest healing.
There are a couple of other benefits to being rigorously honest in this way, too. The first is, once you've gotten it out there -- and especially if you've gotten it out there in front of someone who's earned your trust -- it really does lose so much of it's power over you. Just that one piece is hugely liberating. Also, chances are, if the person/persons you choose to share it with are truly worthy of the honor you bestow upon them by doing so (and this level of trust and honesty really is an honor not to be bestowed lightly), she (or he or they) will most likely be able to "normalize" whatever you're dealing with for you to a certain extent. In other words, she'll be able to, in some way, let you know that whatever it is you're sharing about is not anywhere near as terrible or horrifying or dasterdly or unique or whatever as you fear it is.
The second and very, very important thing is that it is only by getting this kind of stuff out and out of our way that we make room for the universe to give us whatever gifts it has to give us to take its place...because, when we cling to our garbage, we limit our ability to receive and to hold better things.
freya
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I'm contemplating finding another therapist over this. I need to be able to say vile nasty things about my experience and I feel like I can't do it with her. I can talk about everything else except for this. I've told her some things that are embarrassing for me, like being a virgin....never having been in a relationship...and I'm nearly 30. Things that if certain people caught wind of I'd be ridiculed to no end. All of that came out during the first session. But this...I didn't like the response I got when I tested the waters. I could be misinterpreting her body language and tone of voice. I do that sometimes...
I'm not sure how to organize my thoughts, either. I don't know where to start. Chronologically? In order of importance? This was a long period of my life.
There are a couple of internet resources I can check out….well, more like areas where ex-Christians and the like congregate. Maybe someone has something that will give me a good starting point.
I have a couple of weeks before my next session so that gives me plenty of time to come up with some sort of game plan.
I’ll bring it up again. I have to figure out how.
I'm not sure how to organize my thoughts, either. I don't know where to start. Chronologically? In order of importance? This was a long period of my life.
There are a couple of internet resources I can check out….well, more like areas where ex-Christians and the like congregate. Maybe someone has something that will give me a good starting point.
I have a couple of weeks before my next session so that gives me plenty of time to come up with some sort of game plan.
I’ll bring it up again. I have to figure out how.
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Yeah, windy. Sad but true. Actually, I'm a gay virgin atheist. I bet you'll never meet another one of those again in your life. 
I just need to find someone who likes my weirdness.
I just need to find someone who likes my weirdness. Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by Bamboozle
Yeah, windy. Sad but true. Actually, I'm a gay virgin atheist. I bet you'll never meet another one of those again in your life. I just need to find someone who likes my weirdness.
I just need to find someone who likes my weirdness. Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
I lost my virginity at age 26. I didn't really think there was anything wrong with that. People seem to think there's something wrong with you if you haven't done the deed by 16 or 17. It's messed up. It's really not anyone else's business. It's not like I was piously waiting for marriage, it just took a while for me to be ready to take the plunge and to find someone who met my standards... Of course in retrospect he didn't actually meet my standards but I thought he did at the time. Maybe I'm not such an excellent judge of character after all.
But hey... staying in bed yelling "Oh God!" on a Sunday morning is the closest I get to church so it all works out.
But hey... staying in bed yelling "Oh God!" on a Sunday morning is the closest I get to church so it all works out.
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