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Old 08-18-2009, 10:37 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Tyler,

From your posts, you seem like a really likable, upbeat, fun person. For the love of anything you do believe in, please try something that isn't your own idea. I look at your join date and think it's been 7 years you've been trying to do things the same way. Yes, you change it up, you try something new, but it's always your own idea. Your own idea of what suits you, or what you feel comfortable with, or your own pick and choose program of what feels good to you.

Originally Posted by tyler View Post
I also like the theories of CBT, but feel the need for something else, but 12-step just doesn't "feel right" to me. I am developing my own personal since of "spirituality", still in it's infancy, but developing none the less.
I'm sincerely trying to be helpful to you. You can tell me to p*ss off and I won't be the least bit offended. I'm glad that you are exploring a spiritual option. But why do you have any reason to believe that have any idea of what is good for you? Your track record shows that you do not know how to stay sober. Is it possible that your ideas of what you need may not be all that reliable?

The best thing you can do to recover is to say "I don't know" and let someone show you a way that has been successful for them. I'd be happy to help in any way I can, although I'm a one trick pony on recovery.

Or, you can keep relying on what you think is best, and see where it gets you.
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Old 08-18-2009, 04:36 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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OK, I don't understand the attack on Tyler here, or what it has to do with me, other than maybe a not so subtle way of butting in and comparing the two of us somehow. But it seemed uncalled for, especially the 'see where your own approach got you' and 'see what it will get you', I am right and you have been wrong tone. I was kind of shocked.

That kind of tough love approach is exactly the sort of thing that has made me shy away from most groups....all the egos, the fighting, the attitudes. Not sure I feel real safe posting here, even, bye for a while, need to think if it's going to be helpful at this point to keep sharing/posting.

All: thanks for the advice about the chronic pain issues: I am going to see the Dr this week, the doc I had and really liked just moved away, so it's kinda scary, never got along well with docs, and this one really seemed to understand/care. Mainly, it's been I don't have the cash to pay for the 'legitimate' TMJ treatments, they want the money up-front, and I never have had that much at one time, even before I drank. So that makes it hard, too, being able to pay for the legitimate care, vs. less than $10 to numb myself out......

HP
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Old 08-18-2009, 05:04 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Keith likes the tough love. At times it was exactly what I needed and at times it made me want to go get a beer. And sometimes it made me want to go get a beer but was still exactly what I needed. Sometimes the truth sucks. It's hard to come across well online. The guidelines of SR say if you feel offended by a post, just do something else for 30 minutes and then reply. It's good advice.

Husky, have you ever seen a pain specialist? They can work wonders, they can usually find ways to manage pain with fewer or less harmful pills.
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Old 08-18-2009, 06:07 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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I have no problem with Keiths tough love approach I do however wonder why an avowed AA stepper feels the need to come into the Secular Forum so often
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Old 08-18-2009, 06:39 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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...kind of like those people who knock on your door in the middle of dinner and want to talk to you about God.
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Old 08-18-2009, 07:45 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by keithj View Post
Tyler,

From your posts, you seem like a really likable, upbeat, fun person. For the love of anything you do believe in, please try something that isn't your own idea. I look at your join date and think it's been 7 years you've been trying to do things the same way. Yes, you change it up, you try something new, but it's always your own idea. Your own idea of what suits you, or what you feel comfortable with, or your own pick and choose program of what feels good to you.



I'm sincerely trying to be helpful to you. You can tell me to p*ss off and I won't be the least bit offended. I'm glad that you are exploring a spiritual option. But why do you have any reason to believe that have any idea of what is good for you? Your track record shows that you do not know how to stay sober. Is it possible that your ideas of what you need may not be all that reliable?

The best thing you can do to recover is to say "I don't know" and let someone show you a way that has been successful for them. I'd be happy to help in any way I can, although I'm a one trick pony on recovery.

Or, you can keep relying on what you think is best, and see where it gets you.
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Old 08-19-2009, 07:07 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
...kind of like those people who knock on your door in the middle of dinner and want to talk to you about God.
It is best to answer the door completely naked except for large clown shoes and a bright red clown nose and holding a goat head.
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:08 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Well, seem to be improving a bit, drink one night, don't drink the next, and so on, so itís better than the last week. I keep wishing there was a meeting I could go to in real life, but without that Big Book, and all the God stuff in it. I try reading it and ignoring the rest, but thereís just too much to ignore, too much of the structure seems, to me, based on a pretty traditional Christian God, and all the stuff about inventories and guilt seems pretty strange; I never saw any places you got to inventory all the good stuff you did, all the good things about you. It seems to dwell so much on the bad.

So I'm pretty scared of an AA meeting, but there is not much else. I may try an agnostic one, but am still even scared of that.

Not sure what to do. Feel I need some help, but AA has such a monopoly on things around here......

HP
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:47 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by HuskyPup
Well, seem to be improving a bit, drink one night, don't drink the next, and so on, so itís better than the last week.
Progress in the right direction .
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Old 09-26-2009, 09:15 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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That's funny, I never thought of using the term 'snooty' to descibe SMART, but if the shoe fits!

You can get that 'bloviating know it all syndrome' on most any internet forum, but it does seem to have found fertile ground there.

Hope to see you around here, I post mainly in the secular check in, am one of those people who cringes at the steps as wrtiien , the word 'God', and such-like.

HP
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:00 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Welcome to the boards HP.
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