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Continued Sobriety: An Epic Journey

Old 08-23-2009, 07:12 PM
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144 days sober today. By September 1st I'll have 5 months.



Not so many pictures lately...but I hope to take more soon. Here's one I took yesterday:

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Old 08-23-2009, 09:21 PM
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Bam, that's a beaut of a pic. Thanks.
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Old 08-24-2009, 04:03 AM
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in a *multitude* of ways, Bam

D
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Old 08-25-2009, 02:38 PM
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<3!!!!!!!!!!!

e-kisses!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-17-2009, 11:29 AM
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I'm horrible at managing my money. I never pay myself.

Today I finally opened a savings account and put about 85% of my last pay check into it.

So simple, but very big for me.

Here's my plan because I really want/need a car:

I will only put into my checking account what I need to spend for bills and such, but the majority of my income goes right into the savings. This means I have to plan ahead. I know how much my meds and therapy costs, so no excuses.

I cancelled my cell phone service today. I don't have to worry about that after I pay my last bill. I'll have an extra $45 a month.

What gets me is small spending. At the time I think what I'm doing is okay because it's only $20 or so here and there, but dang. Sometimes I do this several days in a row! It adds up quickly.

If I had put all of my money into my checking account today I know I'd blow through it in about two weeks.

What do I spend it on now that I don't drink? I thought I'd save by not drinking...but no. I buy books, video games/software, food, clothing, etc.

Have you ever gone to Walmart, shopped, and then on your way out ask yourself, "how in the crap did I just blow through $200? What did I just buy and why did I think I needed it?"

Time for me to stop the spending sprees.


It's a beautiful day today.


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Old 09-24-2009, 11:06 AM
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A look at myself from the outside

Work was a little stressful last night...but nothing to get in a twist over.

One of my coworkers was flipping out over essentially nothing. Reminded me of myself. Apparently she popped a pill and said sometime later, "I'm totally numb now."


It was strange...I watched her behavior and compared it to mine....past and present.

I don't have to use a substance to numb me out. True, I'm on meds for depression, but it doesn't numb me or buzz me. I can still feel like crap...or good. It just balances me out so I'm not having suicidal thoughts all the time. It's as close to "normal" as I can get when it comes to moods.

I can feel an emotion and not bury it. Even if it's overwhelming I can feel it....and know it will pass. Every time I do this I get stronger.

People have said this to me and I didn't get it until I could do it. It just takes some time, staying sober and working on one's self to get well.
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Old 10-01-2009, 07:47 AM
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In celebration of 6 months sober I quit smoking. Loads of gum chewing here I come!
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Old 10-02-2009, 12:46 AM
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I love reading about positive things, thank you, I'm pleased for you!
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Old 10-02-2009, 10:14 AM
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Thanks, CP...but I did have a cig last night. Shame on me.

I'm just glad I'm still sober...depression has been kicking my a$$ for the last few days.
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Old 10-02-2009, 01:12 PM
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Bam, congrats on 6 months sober!!! As far as the cig... progress not perfection, right? Doing the happy dance for you for all your accomplishments (including your pretty photography!!!

e
ps: depression? yeah, and lots of tears for me... I'm blaming it on the moon, tomorrow is a full moon, it has to have some effect on the body chemistry/fluids, etc. after all, it affects the tides... and thankfully, it does cycle and so... this too shall pass. Right there with ya'!
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Old 10-09-2009, 07:23 AM
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Thanks, e.

I haven't had a cig in a week. Yea for the lingering cold...it forced me to quit.

Still sober and kickin' it.

I do wish the cold would go away soon. It hasn't become any worse, so that's good. If it takes a turn downward I'll be hauling my rear to the hospital.

'Tis the season (at least at this part of the globe).
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Old 11-04-2009, 01:04 AM
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Just got seven months sober at the beginning of the month. I'm proud of myself. It's one thing for sure I know I'm doing right.

Worked late tonight and saw someone come through who I though was drunk...I wasn't certain. He had very slow and deliberate movements. I felt very grateful for being sober.

I traded some war stories with some of the other employees. Someone brought up some things so I added to the discussion. It may sound strange but I found that I could talk about bits of my miserable past and not feel bad about it...and not feel like I was missing out...and not feel like I want to use.

The person I was does not have to be me. I don't have to live that again. It was misery...and the negatives far outweigh any benefits.

I really appreciated having a clear mind tonight. It was comforting.

Over time things have been getting better. I'm calmer...I don't get as nervous. That feels really good.

I feel like Iím on the path to peace with myself.

I'm tired...I have to go to sleep...at least try.
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Old 12-01-2009, 01:51 AM
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Yea! 8 months today! And I can't sleep! I went to bed early and woke up an hour ago.

Geez...if I wouldn't have had that relapse earlier this year I'd be two weeks away from a year sober. Oh, well. It happened...and because it 'hit me' when it happened I changed. Without that change sobriety would not be possible for me today.

I know everyone is different, but I cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of one's mental health.

It's weird...I've been feeling really good the last week...the kind of good that makes me feel like I don't have depression. I know it's still there...and it's important for me to keep taking my meds and to continue therapy.

What a great feeling. I feel normal. Normal for me means not feeling high/buzzed...not feeling artificially happy...not feeling hopeless and suicidal.

I know that can change at any time...and if it does I know what to do. Reach out for help.
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:37 AM
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A big WooHoo for you Bamb!! I'm real happy for you. :-))))
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Old 12-01-2009, 06:01 PM
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Way to go, Bam!
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Old 12-01-2009, 06:09 PM
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good jorb !!
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:55 AM
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Major grats on your eight months. Look what I found when searching for "eight month sober". I think it was made just for you:

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Old 12-04-2009, 07:05 AM
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Yum...I love food.
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Old 12-04-2009, 10:35 PM
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ok I missed this - sorry Bam

but Go You!!

D
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Old 05-15-2010, 01:39 PM
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Haven't posted here for quite a while...hit 410 days sober and counting.

This is what I did today:




Does anybody know of any free service like photobucket that displays the photos with better quality? Every time I post through photobucket the end result looks worse than the original.
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