Continued Sobriety: An Epic Journey
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I'm horrible at managing my money. I never pay myself.
Today I finally opened a savings account and put about 85% of my last pay check into it.
So simple, but very big for me.
Here's my plan because I really want/need a car:
I will only put into my checking account what I need to spend for bills and such, but the majority of my income goes right into the savings. This means I have to plan ahead. I know how much my meds and therapy costs, so no excuses.
I cancelled my cell phone service today. I don't have to worry about that after I pay my last bill. I'll have an extra $45 a month.
What gets me is small spending. At the time I think what I'm doing is okay because it's only $20 or so here and there, but dang. Sometimes I do this several days in a row! It adds up quickly.
If I had put all of my money into my checking account today I know I'd blow through it in about two weeks.
What do I spend it on now that I don't drink? I thought I'd save by not drinking...but no. I buy books, video games/software, food, clothing, etc.
Have you ever gone to Walmart, shopped, and then on your way out ask yourself, "how in the crap did I just blow through $200? What did I just buy and why did I think I needed it?"
Time for me to stop the spending sprees.
It's a beautiful day today.
Today I finally opened a savings account and put about 85% of my last pay check into it.
So simple, but very big for me.
Here's my plan because I really want/need a car:
I will only put into my checking account what I need to spend for bills and such, but the majority of my income goes right into the savings. This means I have to plan ahead. I know how much my meds and therapy costs, so no excuses.
I cancelled my cell phone service today. I don't have to worry about that after I pay my last bill. I'll have an extra $45 a month.
What gets me is small spending. At the time I think what I'm doing is okay because it's only $20 or so here and there, but dang. Sometimes I do this several days in a row! It adds up quickly.
If I had put all of my money into my checking account today I know I'd blow through it in about two weeks.
What do I spend it on now that I don't drink? I thought I'd save by not drinking...but no. I buy books, video games/software, food, clothing, etc.
Have you ever gone to Walmart, shopped, and then on your way out ask yourself, "how in the crap did I just blow through $200? What did I just buy and why did I think I needed it?"
Time for me to stop the spending sprees.
It's a beautiful day today.
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
A look at myself from the outside
Work was a little stressful last night...but nothing to get in a twist over.
One of my coworkers was flipping out over essentially nothing. Reminded me of myself. Apparently she popped a pill and said sometime later, "I'm totally numb now."
It was strange...I watched her behavior and compared it to mine....past and present.
I don't have to use a substance to numb me out. True, I'm on meds for depression, but it doesn't numb me or buzz me. I can still feel like crap...or good. It just balances me out so I'm not having suicidal thoughts all the time. It's as close to "normal" as I can get when it comes to moods.
I can feel an emotion and not bury it. Even if it's overwhelming I can feel it....and know it will pass. Every time I do this I get stronger.
People have said this to me and I didn't get it until I could do it. It just takes some time, staying sober and working on one's self to get well.
One of my coworkers was flipping out over essentially nothing. Reminded me of myself. Apparently she popped a pill and said sometime later, "I'm totally numb now."
It was strange...I watched her behavior and compared it to mine....past and present.
I don't have to use a substance to numb me out. True, I'm on meds for depression, but it doesn't numb me or buzz me. I can still feel like crap...or good. It just balances me out so I'm not having suicidal thoughts all the time. It's as close to "normal" as I can get when it comes to moods.
I can feel an emotion and not bury it. Even if it's overwhelming I can feel it....and know it will pass. Every time I do this I get stronger.
People have said this to me and I didn't get it until I could do it. It just takes some time, staying sober and working on one's self to get well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: FL
Posts: 194
Bam, congrats on 6 months sober!!! 
As far as the cig... progress not perfection, right? Doing the happy dance for you for all your accomplishments (including your pretty photography!!!
e
ps: depression? yeah, and lots of tears for me... I'm blaming it on the moon, tomorrow is a full moon, it has to have some effect on the body chemistry/fluids, etc. after all, it affects the tides... and thankfully, it does cycle and so... this too shall pass. Right there with ya'!
As far as the cig... progress not perfection, right? Doing the happy dance for you for all your accomplishments (including your pretty photography!!! e
ps: depression? yeah, and lots of tears for me... I'm blaming it on the moon, tomorrow is a full moon, it has to have some effect on the body chemistry/fluids, etc. after all, it affects the tides... and thankfully, it does cycle and so... this too shall pass. Right there with ya'!
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Thanks, e.
I haven't had a cig in a week. Yea for the lingering cold...it forced me to quit.
Still sober and kickin' it.
I do wish the cold would go away soon. It hasn't become any worse, so that's good. If it takes a turn downward I'll be hauling my rear to the hospital.
'Tis the season (at least at this part of the globe).
I haven't had a cig in a week. Yea for the lingering cold...it forced me to quit.
Still sober and kickin' it.
I do wish the cold would go away soon. It hasn't become any worse, so that's good. If it takes a turn downward I'll be hauling my rear to the hospital.
'Tis the season (at least at this part of the globe).
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Just got seven months sober at the beginning of the month. I'm proud of myself. It's one thing for sure I know I'm doing right.
Worked late tonight and saw someone come through who I though was drunk...I wasn't certain. He had very slow and deliberate movements. I felt very grateful for being sober.
I traded some war stories with some of the other employees. Someone brought up some things so I added to the discussion. It may sound strange but I found that I could talk about bits of my miserable past and not feel bad about it...and not feel like I was missing out...and not feel like I want to use.
The person I was does not have to be me. I don't have to live that again. It was misery...and the negatives far outweigh any benefits.
I really appreciated having a clear mind tonight. It was comforting.
Over time things have been getting better. I'm calmer...I don't get as nervous. That feels really good.
I feel like I’m on the path to peace with myself.
I'm tired...I have to go to sleep...at least try.
Worked late tonight and saw someone come through who I though was drunk...I wasn't certain. He had very slow and deliberate movements. I felt very grateful for being sober.
I traded some war stories with some of the other employees. Someone brought up some things so I added to the discussion. It may sound strange but I found that I could talk about bits of my miserable past and not feel bad about it...and not feel like I was missing out...and not feel like I want to use.
The person I was does not have to be me. I don't have to live that again. It was misery...and the negatives far outweigh any benefits.
I really appreciated having a clear mind tonight. It was comforting.
Over time things have been getting better. I'm calmer...I don't get as nervous. That feels really good.
I feel like I’m on the path to peace with myself.
I'm tired...I have to go to sleep...at least try.
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Yea! 8 months today! And I can't sleep! I went to bed early and woke up an hour ago.
Geez...if I wouldn't have had that relapse earlier this year I'd be two weeks away from a year sober. Oh, well. It happened...and because it 'hit me' when it happened I changed. Without that change sobriety would not be possible for me today.
I know everyone is different, but I cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of one's mental health.
It's weird...I've been feeling really good the last week...the kind of good that makes me feel like I don't have depression. I know it's still there...and it's important for me to keep taking my meds and to continue therapy.
What a great feeling. I feel normal. Normal for me means not feeling high/buzzed...not feeling artificially happy...not feeling hopeless and suicidal.
I know that can change at any time...and if it does I know what to do. Reach out for help.
Geez...if I wouldn't have had that relapse earlier this year I'd be two weeks away from a year sober. Oh, well.
It happened...and because it 'hit me' when it happened I changed. Without that change sobriety would not be possible for me today. I know everyone is different, but I cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of one's mental health.
It's weird...I've been feeling really good the last week...the kind of good that makes me feel like I don't have depression.
I know it's still there...and it's important for me to keep taking my meds and to continue therapy. What a great feeling. I feel normal. Normal for me means not feeling high/buzzed...not feeling artificially happy...not feeling hopeless and suicidal.
I know that can change at any time...and if it does I know what to do. Reach out for help.
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Haven't posted here for quite a while...hit 410 days sober and counting.
This is what I did today:
Does anybody know of any free service like photobucket that displays the photos with better quality? Every time I post through photobucket the end result looks worse than the original.
This is what I did today:
Does anybody know of any free service like photobucket that displays the photos with better quality? Every time I post through photobucket the end result looks worse than the original.
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