otterbearcat

Normally when Im feeling this pissed off, I go through my phone contacts and ask a number of people if they want to go get a drink. But since Im not drinking today, tomorrow, or even next week, I cant do that.

I did an ABC worksheet from SMART Recovery and am feeling a little better but the idea of getting buzzed still sounds appealing.

I am currently unemployed and my unemployment benefits are pending which means for the past 3 weeks my income has been zero.

My last job was taking care of someone's foster daughter but I got paid through a company that administers the money because it is paid from the state because it is foster care, a lot of people who have foster kids use them to pay their respite workers because the foster parents cannot pay that state money directly.

I found out today that my claim is pending because the company put down that I quit, which I most certainly did not.

I had the woman I worked for (the foster mom) call and tell them no, I didnt quit and I didnt get fired. The company called me back and was giving me the run around telling me I need to come in and that they want to set me up with interviews with other foster kids. I asked what that had to do with fact that they incorrectly reported to unemployment security that I quit? More b.s. that I need to come in. Which is a lie. When I have asked about other openings they sent me all the info via email. They are just trying to get out of paying unemployment. I got really irritated with the girl and she transferred me to her boss when I kept asking what does you trying to set me up with another job have to do with the fact that you reported incorrectly that I quit. I left a vm with him saying I didnt understand why they are trying to give me such a hard time. Although I know damn well the reason is because they are trying to get out of paying unemployment!


Thanks for letting me vent.

I could really use a beer, but I am not going to drink.

mistycshore

Otter, all that sucks. I like that you said you won't drink though. It won't make it better. Hang in, Otter.

Zencat

Letting it out dose keep it from building up from my experience. Good to see your doing it Otter. Also good to see some others here at SR that use the SMART Tools. Another recovery tool for me was to get emerged in something that totally distracts me. That is doing some CSS/HTML on my MySpace page or playing some online games.

Anywho keep venting here if your still feeling frustrated...and I hear you on the 'I wasn't fired I quit'...It happen to me in the long lost past...and I just got loaded over it with a case of the F-its. Today I would put up a fight for my rights.

Freepath

On one hand, people like to drink in the name of celebrating or because there seems to be a pervasive belief in a cause effect relationship between getting loaded and having fun.

But, then, I think a lot of folks drink because it works well as a coping mechanism. I’m bored, I’ll drink; I’m sad, I’ll drink; I’m angry, I’ll drink; I’m anxious, I’ll drink… Am I right?

And a lot of us come into recovery with this pretense that as soon as we quit drinking, life is going to get better.

In some ways it does. In some ways our hopes and dreams seemed to slip to the back burner while we spent time getting hammered with our friends or getting hammered alone. Maybe we didn’t take a class or work on a relationship because getting drunk was a priority. Maybe we grew distant from friends and family, or wouldn’t aspire to a new career or an activity which we feel passionately about. Once sobriety kicks in, we find our rewards in the world in more appropriate places than the bottom of a bottle. We begin to focus more on hopes and dreams and less on the next drunk.

But there’s a catch.

Your crutch is gone. Now if you’re sad, or you’re angry, or you’re friend dies, or you go bankrupt, or your wife runs away with your best friend, you actually have to cope. And that sucks. Sort of.

It helps for me to think of all of these negative emotions as a map. I am here, and I want to get over there. These emotions are your handy natural wiring which triggers an alarm when something is amiss in your life.

So, if you’re angry because someone is lying to the unemployment office, then I believe that you can schedule this matter to be heard before an official at the unemployment office (I could be wrong, but you get the idea.) Believe me, there are labor boards and many, many ways which you can file complaints against someone who is behaving unethically. Schedule one day to sit down and figure out how, I’ll bet your prior employer will start falling all over themselves trying to make amends.

Or maybe you could just focus all of your attention on finding work with someone who behaves ethically and is looking for someone like yourself who values honesty in the workplace. By working toward the result you want, you’ll potentially not have to worry so much about mopping up the nonsense of your current situation.

The great part about being sober is that you will ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING about your negative emotion instead of just blowing it off and getting drunk.

Sorry to hear that your getting screwed. (Wouldn’t that make a great hallmark card?)

Good luck.

Gypsy Feet

I love this about not drinking. It hurts some days, and last week I had a day I was so angry it was almost debilitating, but each new emotion brings me an opportunity to strengthen coping skills that were pretty much non-existent my whole adult life.

Plus, I feel different when these emotions hit, which I ride out like an acid trip, in some form of enjoyment or awe, because the goofball druggie in me always did find "new" pretty interesting.

otterbearcat

Yeah... thanks for the reminder.