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Old 04-29-2009, 02:37 PM
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Never settle.
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SECULAR recovery

I feel like we've gotten away from our secular roots here at SC. I enjoy lively discussion but don't wish to discuss 12-step programs here. I hope this is the last time I see "12-step" or "AA" on this thread.


So... my secular recovery includes ranting at a few friends on the phone and posting here. Also, I hike, camp, and goof around with photography (though I'm not very good at it). I'm also considering trying my hand at the violin again. I haven't played in a long time. I like to read, as well.

And you?
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:46 PM
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12 what?
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:47 PM
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Good post Gneiss.

I use mindfulness and meditation to aid my recovery, I also just applied to do some volunteer work and am going to see a Psychiatrist about my mental problems soon (I hope)...for me to stay sober I need to change and be active (I find both very hard cos I am lazy).

I don't think I stand much chance if I don't try to change in some ways.

SR is also part of recovery of course.

There are things I want to do that would help, like eat better and exercise but I haven't got around to them yet, lol.
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:53 PM
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SR is becoming a big part of my sobriety the knowing that I'm not alone feels good. I also volunteer with a peer assistance group that is part of state professional association for recovering alcoholics/addicts they are very similar to AA but my role is stictly administrative so it feels good w/o having to be involved as I'm not in their profession.

I'm just now (19 months sober) starting to exercise and eat right, the first year I ate massive amounts of M&M's and other junk food and gained 30 pounds! I was too skinny and needed to gain at least 10 and now I've lost 12.5 pounds so I just have 7.5 pounds to go to be at the weight I want to be.

I've also gotten involved in my neighborhood HOA and am on the board of directors something I never would have done while drinking because the meeting would have interferred with drinking.

Judy
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:15 PM
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1. don't do dope
2. see step 1
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:49 PM
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Mine is pretty close to Windy only substitute drink for dope.
I have made a deal with myself to never drink again and that is a promise to myself I will keep.
I do go to the gym 5 days a week but I did that (mostly) when I was drinking.
I have read the Rational Recovery book and I did get suckered into buying it because that is pretty much all it has to say.
Just make a " Big Plan" that you will never drink/drug again. It took 350 pages to say that and that if you get the urge it is your "beast" talking and to just ignore it.
I still think it was worth the price to confirm what I pretty much felt all along anyways.
I made the same plan with meth about 35 years ago and it hasn't been a problem and I don't suspect this will be either.
That is it for me now.
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:53 PM
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Never settle.
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I always love it when you post that, Windy. Really, that's what it comes down to. The rest of the stuff distracts me from cravings and fills my time. But... just don't do dope.
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Old 04-29-2009, 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Fubarcdn View Post
I made the same plan with meth about 35 years ago and it hasn't been a problem and I don't suspect this will be either.
That is it for me now.
Alcohol is more difficult for me than meth. It wasn't at first, the cravings for meth were horrible. But having my car searched by the police, looking for the bag of meth my bf had just swallowed, kinda ended it. It took every last bit of fun out of being high that night. Not to say we didn't make the best of it anyway, but it really killed the desire to do it again. To the point that about ten days ago when someone waved a bag of meth under my nose and asked if I wanted a line, I said no thanks. It wasn't even difficult, I had no desire for it. I hope that continues... actually I hope I'm never asked again. But if I am, I hope it's always that easy.
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Old 04-29-2009, 04:06 PM
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At the moment I am trying to alter my behaviour patterns, I can see that habit plays a big roll in my drinking.

I am getting pretty good at recognising the situations in which this behaviour is likely to occur, doing less well at breaking the cycle but I realise it will take some time, I am relatively pleased with the way things are going.
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Old 04-29-2009, 04:08 PM
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I work a secular program, known as SMART Recovery. I have been applying it to many other parts of my life the last year, including some very stressful situations. at my university.
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Old 04-29-2009, 04:36 PM
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I find changing is the biggest part of recovery for me...accepting it, allowing it to happen.

mindfulness and meditation work really really well for me when i had cravings or when i now find the obsession with wanting to drink is kicking back in again and gone too far for my rational mind to deal with...which i try not to let it get that far.

it seems for me that to ease being sober, i have to find a way to have a better relationship...with myself, with others, with my job, with my house, with the world....if i am in constant turmoil and unhappiness from how i see the world...well a epistimoligist who i think is well known once said something like...there is something so wrong with the alchoholics vision of the world that drinking seems to make it more right. That struck me hard when i read it and hasa remained important to me in my recovery.

finding a way to be ok with the world and others....seems to be the answer.
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:54 PM
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I've started taking antabuse again, which, for me, enables me to attain long periods of sobriety. I also like to incorporate some of Smart Recovery tools into my everyday life, although I rarely visit that website any more.

I have my job, which keeps me pretty busy during the week. It's amazing how much easier it is to cope without the hungover/withdrawal stuff I somehow managed to function with for years.

I'm also forcing myself to use my leisure time more creatively, and it's paying off with a nicer house and yard, cleaner car etc. My latest fun activity that I'm quite excited about is geo-caching, but the weather here has been so cold and wet I haven't been able to get out much.

Even though I do like my job, I have a prospect of something even better that I'd like to get into.
Hope for the future.

So, changing my behaviour in a positive way, and continuing to realize the benefits of not drinking will help me to continue with my goal of giving up the sauce. No magic formula, but one that I'm sure will work.

Keep well

Ron
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:25 PM
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What exactly is geo-caching?
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:32 PM
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Geocaching is a treasure hunting game where you use a GPS to hide and seek containers with other participants in the activity. Geocaching.com is the listing service for geocaches around the world.
I've done it, it's kinda fun.
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:39 PM
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Well it took some effort to find an approach to addiction recovery that was meaningful to me. In no particular order I'd say CBT and SMART help a lot. Listening to MP3 Dharma talks, mindfulness and meditation are helpful too. Some F2F groups at the behavioral clinic as well as a sober GF gives me the accountability that I need. After all people need to see me and that tells the whole story with me. SR has helped me practice new behaviors and I get a lot good insight here too.
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:50 PM
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I'm not sure I would have been able to quit as "easily" as I did if not for starting a super physical job the month before. Basically I am too damn tired to obsess. When I first quit I read about a dozen recovery/addiction books, maybe 1/2 scientific and 1/2 spiritual in nature, and it all boiled down to windy's 2 step program for me. Where these forums have helped me immensely, is pointing out some other areas I needed to work on real bad, mostly codie sh!t. Letting go of my worries for everyone I love, allowing them to walk their own path, and not feeling like I need to control or guide them along has taken the world right off my shoulders.
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Old 04-30-2009, 04:38 AM
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Originally Posted by windysan View Post
1. don't do dope
2. see step 1
That must be the Texas two step with cajun influence? (Hey Phal, here's a new dance)
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Old 04-30-2009, 04:55 AM
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What I do is to avoid all my "triggers".
If I'm uptight I tell myself "Big deal" or "Who cares?"
I use SR as a crutch. (If whatever is going on bothers me, and that has happened, I quit reading for the day, the next day I can deal with it)
I'm also making a bigger effort to please myself. My house is better kept, I get dressed up (make-up, hairdo, and nice clothes) everyday, even if I have to change later for walks or sports, or gardening. I go out on weekends, dancing, a movie, window shopping. I finally am beginning to like the lady in the mirror, that helps.
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Old 04-30-2009, 09:31 AM
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Thank you for this thread!

Hey Gneiss and all posters here - I really love this thread so far.. Did not realize I needed an idea infusion until I started reading - getting lots of inspiration and good ideas here.

My "program" has had a few core components - SR daily, talking with two close personal people who know my story, reading from about 4 core books that inspire me (Sober for Good, Changing for Good, the Smart Recovery Handbook and my own journal).. and writing in my journal - most days.

I am over 100 days into this thing and really get the feeling that I need to start some new things - to kind of take the place of the drinking energy. I love hearing what others have inserted into their lives on this thread - violin, physical work, M&M's, etc.

Something else that is really important to me is SLEEP - I need it and get it more now than I used to .. I really feel deprived if I am not getting enough.. The HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) thing really works for me - almost always either tired or hungry when I get a craving.

Hey - thanks gneiss.. I hope this thread keeps going and going. Would love to hear about new things that people weave into their programs that work.
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:14 AM
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I keep my own side of the street clean.

Somebody threw old McDonalds all over the place.:rotfxko
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