I'm Tired

Old 04-29-2009, 08:26 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Up from the ashes
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I like to post on these forums, and I like the regulars in SC.

I know that some of the posts seem angry, and Iím sure there are people in the world who are opinionated. Somehow, even when people get angry, and sometimes especially when people get angry, the truth has a way revealing itself. Itís almost like a political debate where one side argues one way and the other side argues a different way, but when the argument is over, it almost seems that enlightenment has occurred somewhere. Not in one argument or the other, but in the discussion itself.

I believe that simply making this post is a positive coping mechanism. It seems to me when people observe that the world is filled with vile contempt, and they feel fed up and hopeless, drinking or using becomes a way to cope. Instead you have chosen to tell the rest of us how you feel, which is very positive, in my opinion.
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:36 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Reach Out and Touch Faith
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Originally Posted by ananda View Post
sharing how i deal with a situation in sobriety is helpful...critizising how someone else deals with things in sobriety is not helpful.

I can critisiz till the cows come home and it doesn't give the person one single idea of other options.

I do the 12 steps and attend AA. However I am an athiest 90% of the time...

I am comfortable when i share the tools that work for me...some from AA, some from smart, some from just my own personal observations and expereince that seem to work for me.

I guess i talk about being godless in AA on the 12 step thread because i don't see a conflict with the program in doing that. I try to not talk directly about AA in secular because that seems to be of little value in supporting people here. Like i said i share the expereince, it doesn't have to be called AA to be of value. It can be secular in application.

I share quite a bit about AA in the 12 step secular doen't get used much and doesn't seem to cause a problem.
I really got a lot out of this post Ananda. I agree that there are many similarities between programs, and find insight in your ESH.

I also wish the 12 Step Secular section had more traffic.
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:59 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Never settle.
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what's ESH mean? I never saw it until a couple days ago on here and google proved unhelpful. apparently it can stand for a lot of things.
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Old 04-30-2009, 02:10 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Experience Strength and Hope.

Ananda I've found that recently things have been a bit tiring, but I believe it's just a cycle we'll get through. I've always found your posts to be just fine, nothing snide or catty about them, but then again I don't go beyond SC in general. So please don't let anyone get you down, it will blow over soon !
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Old 04-30-2009, 04:07 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Ananda, for whatever it's worth and not to oversimplify or make light of things, but it seems there was very strange energy yesterday, draining many along my path as well. I myself became exhausted after my f2f, where there was not only rampant cross-talk and fixing, but vivid displays of anger and pure hatred, people were actually proudly embracing their hatred, something that is incomprehensible to me in the recovery process (and as a budding buddhist!). My plan for self-care involved staying out of harm's way for the rest of the day. I also know how it feels when posts go unanswered, at first I resented it. These days, I see it as a test to see how I cope when my "usual" recovery tools aren't working or available. It helps me dig deeper into my recovery toolbox and find new and unexpected resources. And as I stay the course, good things still happen to me no matter what's going on "out there" or within me. Yesterday I realized that part of my self care is not only staying out of my own way, but also staying out of other people's way if necessary. Today is a new day, with new possibilities. I hope you are in a better place. I am enjoying these secular threads as I read up on buddhist thought and begin to understand the teachings at the core/spirit level. And you are an integral part of this community. Please forgive if boundaries have been overstepped. As usual, only take what you need, leave the rest. Be well!
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Old 04-30-2009, 04:12 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Ananda...I hope you are feeling better today. I understand all of what you said and will echo Dee...stick to what you do best, offering people your experience and support.
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Old 04-30-2009, 07:41 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
I got nothin'
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Originally Posted by ananda View Post
I hardly bother to post just seems so it isn't really going to be helpful to anyone and will probably simply cause more anger and bitter posting. I've gotten irritable and posted a few digs here and there...and that bothers i try to just stay out of it as much as I am able to. concerns me cause eventually that can lead to isolation rather than community which i think is a huge key to my sobriety.

Iím isolating and thatís fine. I donít feel like I belong anywhereÖSR or anywhere else in society. Iíve felt this way ever since I was littleÖlike I just donít fit in with the rest of humanity. I donít know what to do with thisÖI never have. The feeling has been most intense latelyÖa reminder of my shortcomings and how Iíll never be the person I want to be because itís impossible. There are things about me I cannot change.

Life is pretty meaningless. I have no motivation. Everything keeps repeating and there is nothing to look forward toÖso I eat, sleep, and breathe. I donít care anymore. I am empty.
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Old 04-30-2009, 07:55 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Ananda and Bam, I haven't been on SR very long but both of you have posted some things that have really given me insight into my own self; Katie has as well; and I hope all of you stick around.

Even when people post about something that they are angry or upset about it can be very meaningful because another might read it and say "I feel that way too", and for me it helps to know that I am not alone in feeling like I do.

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Old 04-30-2009, 08:19 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Never settle.
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Echo jamdls. Sometimes a rant is extremely helpful. Life's not always happy clappy, as we all know (otherwise we wouldn't be here).
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