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Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part V

Old 07-11-2009, 02:21 PM
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lunarlovelunar
 
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Today is my b-day and tomorrow is 6 months...

7

Happy B-day to Me!!

Happy 6 months for Me!!

Thanks everyone for all your support.
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Old 07-11-2009, 03:13 PM
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interesting post gneiss.

I think I've been fairly consistent LOL.

But I agree with Keith - it's not my job to 'save' you - and it's not your job to impress or mollify me or anyone else.

This is your problem. Its in your interests to be honest and open about this.

If you decide the fun outweighs the risk, then that's your call.
I'll disagree - I've been up that line - but it's your call.

You're right - tailoring responses does none of us any good - may as well not be here.

D
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Old 07-11-2009, 03:14 PM
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Happy 6 months Viv


D
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Old 07-11-2009, 04:48 PM
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Happy Birthday, Viv! Congrats! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Love,

Lenina
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Old 07-11-2009, 06:05 PM
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Originally Posted by vividserenity View Post
7

Happy B-day to Me!!

Happy 6 months for Me!!

Thanks everyone for all your support.

Happy Happy

And 6 Months C & S

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Old 07-12-2009, 06:53 PM
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I've been working outside all weekend, sweating profusely, and now I smell really bad!

Three good job leads today though. And am sipping milk (okay, it's whole milk - one thing at a time!).

I'm sleeping like a rock on a minimal dose of 25 mg of amitriptyline. And I don't ever feel the noise in my feet (nerve stuff).

I really want to go back to work. I'm thinking (if one job works out) of working full time and taking a full load at college so I can graduate in December. My GPA is in good shape, so I don't have to worry about getting A's or even B's for my last semester. Being out of work (and no classes this summer), I just feel detached from the world. I really want to go back to the working world . . . where the grownups are (quite unlike college).

Off to the showers, with another congrats to Viv.
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Old 07-13-2009, 06:24 AM
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well....afraid i don't remmber large parts of this weekend, so if i'm repeating myself....thats why...

I drank Saturday at noon....finished the bottle last night at about 10

i'm pretty sick at the moment...i'll go to work later today, but i'm actually physically ill enough i cant at the moment and hope that gets better soon.

i'm gonna do my best to learn from this and go on...gneiss...i don't know...for me it really wasn't "fun"...although i have had fun at times....

honestly it was a big relief for about 1 hour....then i cried and whined for the next 2 days.

i guess the difference this time to others whas that when i wanted the bottle i acted on it as quickly as possible...i made sure nothing stoped me. in the past when i wanted a bottle...i gave the desire a chance to pass.

lots to sort out...wanted to check in

and viv (hug) i'm proud of you hug hug
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Old 07-13-2009, 06:27 AM
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I'm glad you're back (((Nands)))
D
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Old 07-13-2009, 08:49 AM
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Glad you're safe Ananda.
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:05 AM
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I don't understand how people can give up a DOC that they really love/enjoy. I also don't understand how someone can love something that does them so much harm. Sure I can remember times when I had a great time drinking, I was outgoing, I was flirtatious, I got lots of attention---but I also remember the hangovers, the depression, the shame, the guilt... and the negatives far outweigh anything that might have been fun that now even the thought of having a drink makes me a little nauseated.
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Old 07-13-2009, 02:27 PM
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(((nands)))
Hang in there with us so we can help provide support as you have done fpr so many others
You're one of the reasons I'm sitting on 364 days today
Your comment about learning from this was well said.
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Old 07-13-2009, 07:28 PM
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Glad you're safe, Ananda. And thanks.
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Old 07-14-2009, 12:10 PM
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I hope your feeling a bit better today (((Nands))).
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Old 07-14-2009, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by jamdls View Post
I don't understand how people can give up a DOC that they really love/enjoy. I also don't understand how someone can love something that does them so much harm. Sure I can remember times when I had a great time drinking, I was outgoing, I was flirtatious, I got lots of attention---but I also remember the hangovers, the depression, the shame, the guilt... and the negatives far outweigh anything that might have been fun that now even the thought of having a drink makes me a little nauseated.
I can't say as I really understad it either, but I do LOVE my POT. It's been 2 months since I smoked and I can tell you with a large degree of certainity that if I did not have to pass a drug test to get a job, I'd still be smoking. It has completely ruined my life (well, actually I did that, but the pot helped pave the way). I've spent well over $100,000 on it over the years, lost my wife (the love of my life, still), the opportunity to raise my son, my house, the list goes on and on, yet I still LOVE POT.

That is one of the main issues I need to address with my new theripist, what it is that drives me to crave that feeling of being "half a step" out of reality. I feel so much more comfortable there. I am highly functional (pardon the pun!!) when I'm stoned, I pretty much smoked 24/7. Somehow I have to learn to let this obsession go. Not sure how yet. I'm working on it from several different angles. At this point, I'm willing to try just about anything!! Take care.
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:33 PM
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Nands, I hope you are feelin' better today.

My husband called a couple hours ago, in tears (he doesn't cry). His mom passed away this morning, so we're in for an emotional trip to Utah with all my crazy in-laws. I wasn't close to her, kept her as far away from family as I could because she was all kinds of mentally ill and amazingly destructive. She was his mom though, and he's really broken up about it. The last time we visited her, she twice referred to her son as her brother. Aging sucks. I remember how it felt to lose my mom though. I think it's going to be a difficult week.
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:23 PM
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Hang in there misty. I am in the midst of a mini crisis myself, but it will pass. I was thinking of the "fun" part of drinking/meth/pot, and before I can even get into the fun part in my head, the fear hits. I don't want to be dependent on anything or anyone right now. I want to be in control of all of my actions. I want to keep my big girl panties on, and face the tough sh!t head on, and learn from it without clouding it over.

When you say you had fun using, it just makes me a bit sad/worried because it sounds like you aren't done, and bad things can and probably will happen to tweakers.
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:26 PM
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Yo!
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:31 PM
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Yo!

(I'm not sad I just like the blue one LOL)

I'll be thinking of you this week mistyc - stay strong
D
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Old 07-15-2009, 03:35 PM
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I continued the drinking on monday, and stoped at 6pm that night..now on day 2???

I'm finaly feeling a little more sensible....i'm steady at the moment and will post soon.

There are a lot of threads to catch up on....as well as sorting out the damage and make some plans.

I want to be in control of all of my actions. I want to keep my big girl panties on, and face the tough sh!t head on, and learn from it without clouding it over.
Gypsy..that particuallry hit home with me thanks

JIT....thanks so much (hug) and i am prouid of you (hug)
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Old 07-15-2009, 04:06 PM
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Stick with that plan nanda! :ghug3

Glad to see ya posting.
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