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Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part V

Old 06-30-2009, 09:03 PM
  # 361 (permalink)  
I got nothin'
 
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I'm tired...I'm going to sleep soon.

Hi all...goodnight all.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:41 PM
  # 362 (permalink)  
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Managed to go through the day well enough even tho my stress was off the charts. I'm not much one to give self-reports but I do better in my F2F group at the clinic with that stuff. Kinda feeling better now that I've been home for some time and feeling safe...damm mental illness is such a bitch at times....ah well at least active addiction isn't exasperating things.
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Old 06-30-2009, 09:45 PM
  # 363 (permalink)  
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Zencat, you just gave me an attitude adjustment. Thank you sooooo much!!

Yeah, my sister is getting to me. But it's ok. It would be way worse with an active addition. Well spoken!

This one made me laugh:
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Old 06-30-2009, 11:37 PM
  # 364 (permalink)  
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...can't sleep...
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Old 07-01-2009, 10:29 AM
  # 365 (permalink)  
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things have settled a bit and i am ok..... I see the train coming and seem to have no ability to get off the tracks.....

best i have been able to find is to remind myself that it is probably not a real train...just an ilusion and hope the sensiation of being run over will pass soon and i'll be ok

Anyone else have areas of their life where they can't seem to avoid the crazy thoughts and actions completly? I mean i think i'm ok in most ways...but just a few troublesome areas that suck me in.

oh..besides just staying a hermit so you never have to deal with anyone
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:59 AM
  # 366 (permalink)  
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Poor Ananda I'm so sorry you're having a tough time.

Just try to think about other things in the past that seemed like they were going to overwhelm you. You're still here - you survived them, and you can make it through again. Of course, the hermit idea doesn't sound so bad to me either at the moment...

Remember...(& I've been inspired by the recent Minnesota election results...)

You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggoneit, people like you.

(Oh wait, you're in England aren't you? Oh well, I hope you get it anyway )

~Daisy
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Old 07-01-2009, 12:15 PM
  # 367 (permalink)  
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PEEPS!!!

Gneiss~ Sorry you are having a difficult time with your sister. :ghug3 I also have some issues with my sister....family can be a pain sometimes but I dont think I would trade her in....not yet anyway

Nanda~ I hope your train becomes a train full of meditative luxuries like soft music...fresh air...a few massages....... PM me if ya need to talk HUGS

Zencat~ Glad you shared with us....home is an important safe place for me too. Sometimes just walking through the front door can make me feel better! HUGS

Things here are quiet this morning...lol....morning whatever...I woke up at 11.....gonna try to fix my sleeping schedule AGAIN. At least so far today that is my only gripe

HUGE GROUP HUG!!!
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Old 07-01-2009, 07:37 PM
  # 368 (permalink)  
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Thanks Viv! I'm not trading her in, I've just sorta cut her off. Instead of calling my friends when she's around I text them so she doesn't have any ammo, etc. She's spent the last 4 or 5 months telling me I'm a loser. Today she apologized but now she's mad that I didn't fall in line and say it was ok. It's not ok. This goes way beyond this little spat, I'm just tired of her crap.

For the last few weeks I don't really care who I cut out of my life. If someone gives me attitude all the time or is just trying to use me or is a social or legal liability... sionara. My group of friends is down to 2 I speak to regularly and about 5 more that I see occasionally. It used to bother me, felt like I had no friends. Now it doesn't bother me; if they don't like my attitude good riddance to them. I posted a thread about it once but the feeling sort of went away. It's back now more than ever. I can't decide if I'm just being a miserable human being and trying to drive everyone away and using little excuses to get rid of them or if this is all legit. I've never done such a drastic weeding-out of friends.
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Old 07-02-2009, 06:57 AM
  # 369 (permalink)  
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Just a quick check in before the forums go down.

Gneiss, I related to what you said. I arranged a get-together with my three remaining siblings since we're all going to be within 100 miles of each other this weekend and haven't seen each other in a few years. The emails are already getting snarky and I'm already regretting it.

Nan, glad you're feeling better.

If I don't get back on board today, I hope everybody has a happy 4th. I was thinking that maybe being at a game over the weekend would be easier than being at home since home is often drudgery or boring. Then I thought - well, they probably don't call the ballpark "Coors Field" for nothing. I'm really looking forward to it though and will pack in a lot of water.
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Old 07-03-2009, 09:54 PM
  # 370 (permalink)  
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Seriously....I am so tired of all this.

I am so tired of thinking about drinking and not drinking.
I am tired of trying to think of new and exciting ways to keep sobriety lookin good.
I am tired of trying to fix myself.
I am tired of others not fixing themselves.
I am tired of people who say "what" when they [email protected] well heard you.
I am tired of reading self help books.
I am tired of "forgetting" to take care of myself.
I am tired of feeling like I have to hold the hands of those who love me to make sure that I at least get an inkling of emotion that I feel like I deserve.
I am tired.....

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Old 07-03-2009, 10:30 PM
  # 371 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by vividserenity View Post
Seriously....I am so tired of all this.

I am tired of trying to fix myself.


True that!

Hope your getting some rest.
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Old 07-07-2009, 07:31 PM
  # 372 (permalink)  
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OMG!!!! CRICKETS!!!!!



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Old 07-07-2009, 07:44 PM
  # 373 (permalink)  
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Old 07-08-2009, 02:56 AM
  # 374 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by vividserenity View Post
OMG!!!! CRICKETS!!!!!



Did the crickets give you energy? Don't get tired, get rest !:ghug3
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Old 07-08-2009, 07:50 AM
  # 375 (permalink)  
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Well, if anyone needs crickets, we have bumper crop this year. It baffles me how such little things can creep me out.

I'm on day two. The anti-depressant makes me feel a tad sleepy and the outpatient place does not return my calls. I'm thinking maybe it's fate, but then I remember that I don't believe in fate.

If I insulted anyone with my recent posts, I'm sorry. If I didn't, I'm paranoid.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:11 AM
  # 376 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mistycshore View Post
Well, if anyone needs crickets, we have bumper crop this year. It baffles me how such little things can creep me out.

I'm on day two. The anti-depressant makes me feel a tad sleepy and the outpatient place does not return my calls. I'm thinking maybe it's fate, but then I remember that I don't believe in fate.

If I insulted anyone with my recent posts, I'm sorry. If I didn't, I'm paranoid.
My mother is terrified of crickets. They aren't on my list of frightening things.

Day two is good, the outpatient place that doesn't return calls is no good! Saturated phone lines, incompetent management, or whatever. Fate? nah...

I don't recall you insulted me, but I don't recall much of anything, so....

Keep up the good work and rest or sleep if you're tired.
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Old 07-08-2009, 08:56 PM
  # 377 (permalink)  
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this comuter scks..i'll postwhen i can and i've got a computer geek coming but not till next week
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:00 PM
  # 378 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by mistycshore View Post
Well, if anyone needs crickets, we have bumper crop this year. It baffles me how such little things can creep me out.

I'm on day two. The anti-depressant makes me feel a tad sleepy and the outpatient place does not return my calls. I'm thinking maybe it's fate, but then I remember that I don't believe in fate.

If I insulted anyone with my recent posts, I'm sorry. If I didn't, I'm paranoid.
I think there is only one person you insulted and she has far too much drama and issues going on in her life for you to worry about. That is why I try to stay out of her threads. You can only help someone who wants to be helped. Hope you are well. Take care.
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Old 07-09-2009, 10:08 AM
  # 379 (permalink)  
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The more I read these boards the happier I am that I am a loner, have no family within 1000 miles (except my daughter) no SO in my life--I just have to worry about myself and my dog. My little Peaches is always happy to see me and sad to see me go, she never complains, never wants for anything except a bite to eat and even if I don't take her out for a walk she just does her business on the pad in the bathroom. Yes my life is perfect.

Last night I started wondering again if I am just imagining life, maybe I really did die when I overdosed and I'm just imagining everything, or I'm really lieing in a hospital unconscious? It was a very creepy feeling but somewhere around 2am I just decided that well if this is a dream then I don't want to wake up.
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:59 PM
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