Fantabulous Secular Connections Check-in Part V
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,936
Originally Posted by thinkaboutit 
Thanks bamboozle, and not to steel the thread, my intention was not to bash aa, as I have many friends there - it's just that in the last 3 years my belief system has changed so much that I feel better when I don't go. I have to have a secular approach for my life. I still meet my buds for friday nite dinners though.... 
to secular sub-forum here at SoberRecovery thinkaboutit. Just a friendly reminder and I don't enforce the rules, just a reminder so you can enjoy your experience here at the secular side... "12 Step Programs are off topic for this forum and posts discussing 12 Step Programs will be removed. Please use the Secular 12 Step Forum for positive topics on Secular 12 Step Recovery." ~soberrecovery.org
So I'm not even thinking this is a topic discussion you posted, just trying to be helpful. So if anybody knows about getting in trouble its me...LOL...your cool tho.
Sports:
Used to watch all kinds when I was drinking & drugging. Mostly tackle football and basketball but not any more. I do still like auto racing being from the motor city and all...well any motor sports for that matter. If its got wheels and can kill a person...oh the Red bull aerial racing is excellent too...Oh and drag boats and unlimited hydroplane and offshore cig boat...oh hell if they raced intercontinental missile's I'd watch it.
Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 486
Just stopping by to say hi. Everyone else is asleep...ah, peace and quiet! Just an update: M has had two weeks without heroin, things are slowly starting to return to a relatively normalish state, I'm trying to focus on keeping things normal for me & the girls, rather than worrying about M all the time - I'm starting to let him worry about himself instead. Spent last weekend enjoying them in their dance recital - M cried afterwards, because he said it felt so good to feel emotions again when watching them dance (which I view as a really positive sign!)
Gneiss - if you like Australian rules golf, you should get into croquet, my personal favorite sport! And I loved the cow...
Hope things are going well for everyone, and that you all are having weather as beautiful as we are here.
~Daisy
Gneiss - if you like Australian rules golf, you should get into croquet, my personal favorite sport! And I loved the cow...
Hope things are going well for everyone, and that you all are having weather as beautiful as we are here.
~Daisy
Never settle.
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Checking in. I'm so tired. Stayed up way too late last night. And I have an 11-hour drive tomorrow, all by myself! I probably won't post much for the next week or so, but if I get a chance I'll drop in. See you all later!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
checking in from ???? I don't know, I'm home anyway, got in too late last night, dancing until 2am home at 3 am, full moon so we talked in bed until 4 am hubby brought me coffee at 6 am, the sun was up....what can I say. We went to vote European legislative vote, at 8:30, I cleaned house, prepared lunch, the kids will be here around 2 for Mother's Day in France. Wow, I'm already ready for bed and it's only noon...
Hello thinkaboutit. It's a nice place here !
Hello thinkaboutit. It's a nice place here !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
checking in I'm bored it's too hot to go outside I just want to sleep today but I'm making myself stay awake.
Welcome Thinkaboutit and Misty. I believe in God but I come to the 'secular side' cause I don't do AA or any other formal program to stay sober I do it MY WAY (and I've been sober for almost 2 years so there!@)
Can somebody come fix me dinner? I hate to cook.
Welcome Thinkaboutit and Misty. I believe in God but I come to the 'secular side' cause I don't do AA or any other formal program to stay sober I do it MY WAY (and I've been sober for almost 2 years so there!@)
Can somebody come fix me dinner? I hate to cook.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
glad you found us Misty (hug)
fraid i'm short on laughs today.
I wanted to drink...so far i haven't.
I'm sure it is irrational beliefs, but they seem so real. I tried to sort them out, but really just too emotional still to do so...but i'm not acting on them yet and right now...if it leads to a little sullen fear i guess it's better than drinking which would make this all sooooo much worse
Anyhow checking in the day is pretty much a wash...my job work won't be done which means trouble and i've company in 3 hours
One of my irrational beliefs is that i might as well have drank this afternoon..but i am aware enough now to know that makes no since
fraid i'm short on laughs today.
I wanted to drink...so far i haven't.
I'm sure it is irrational beliefs, but they seem so real. I tried to sort them out, but really just too emotional still to do so...but i'm not acting on them yet and right now...if it leads to a little sullen fear i guess it's better than drinking which would make this all sooooo much worse
Anyhow checking in the day is pretty much a wash...my job work won't be done which means trouble and i've company in 3 hours
One of my irrational beliefs is that i might as well have drank this afternoon..but i am aware enough now to know that makes no since
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
Originally Posted by ananda
fraid i'm short on laughs today.
I wanted to drink...so far i haven't.
I wanted to drink...so far i haven't.
We're with ya girl.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,936
Originally Posted by mistycshore
Checking in for the first time. This looks like a neat forum, and ya'll are funny!
mistycshore To Secular Connections. Feel free to join right in on any discussion and make yourself at home. Glad to have you here with us secular peeps in recovery (((ananda)))
Hoping you are well today as you are in my thoughts and concerns.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
well...i'm ok...not drinking...
I feel like i am in a really critical place right now. I believe I have broken a relationship. I see my part, and i did come to see he had a part as well late last night...but the point is it is broke and I don't believe it can be fixed.
I've been through this a number of times in my life and I still don't know the healthy choice to deal with it. My answers have been
1. drink
2. isolate
not necissarily in that order.
Once you do something that blows another person's trust out of the water...well i've never had that heal. It's just gone..and it can never really come back you knw...there is always the memory, always a wall..and it goes both ways.
I see some errors in action on my part, unfortunately, i actually don't believe that i won't make those errors a gain. I still don't see them coming and it happens to fast for me to catch.
I'm fluxuating between autopiolot shut down to what for me is a scary extent and total vunerablity and tears.
i'm headed for the strenght of sucking it up and going on because i am a strong woman and did my life without friendship a long long time...I don't need anyone. But I prefer to have relationships with others and stay vunerable and open to life.
I'm both afraid of shutting down from life and of being vuneralbe and causing these sorts of rifs in my other relationships....
this just seems to me to be crutial to my continuing sobriety...I have to find some way to walk through this that isn't shutting down and closing....or being a blurbally mess.
ok...now i'm a wreck again from thinking about it so i'm gonna go into shut down mode so i can be together again in a bit and go to work.
thanks for listening.
I feel like i am in a really critical place right now. I believe I have broken a relationship. I see my part, and i did come to see he had a part as well late last night...but the point is it is broke and I don't believe it can be fixed.
I've been through this a number of times in my life and I still don't know the healthy choice to deal with it. My answers have been
1. drink
2. isolate
not necissarily in that order.
Once you do something that blows another person's trust out of the water...well i've never had that heal. It's just gone..and it can never really come back you knw...there is always the memory, always a wall..and it goes both ways.
I see some errors in action on my part, unfortunately, i actually don't believe that i won't make those errors a gain. I still don't see them coming and it happens to fast for me to catch.
I'm fluxuating between autopiolot shut down to what for me is a scary extent and total vunerablity and tears.
i'm headed for the strenght of sucking it up and going on because i am a strong woman and did my life without friendship a long long time...I don't need anyone. But I prefer to have relationships with others and stay vunerable and open to life.
I'm both afraid of shutting down from life and of being vuneralbe and causing these sorts of rifs in my other relationships....
this just seems to me to be crutial to my continuing sobriety...I have to find some way to walk through this that isn't shutting down and closing....or being a blurbally mess.
ok...now i'm a wreck again from thinking about it so i'm gonna go into shut down mode so i can be together again in a bit and go to work.
thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Road to recovery
Posts: 866
nands,
don't know about being a font of wisdom...maybe a trickle here
you already know drinking is not an answer that's why you're not doing it
it's avoidance which only makes the pain worse
you're dealing with the pain now by thinking about it when you can, but you're not dwelling on it 24/7
guess what I'm trying to say is - don't feel like you're not dealing just because you're still feeling the pain.
pain is part of the process of healing
when we drank we didn't address the process or the pain
we tried to ignore it
which mean longer drawn out pain
more drinking
more drinking
no growth
more drinking
you're on the think - pain - grow path
it's not a path without thorns, huh
but it's the right path
you'll get back to relatioships soon enough when you're ready
look at your last post...you're doing some honest self evaluation
that made me think hard enough to be inspired to respond
don't know about being a font of wisdom...maybe a trickle here
you already know drinking is not an answer that's why you're not doing it
it's avoidance which only makes the pain worse
you're dealing with the pain now by thinking about it when you can, but you're not dwelling on it 24/7
guess what I'm trying to say is - don't feel like you're not dealing just because you're still feeling the pain.
pain is part of the process of healing
when we drank we didn't address the process or the pain
we tried to ignore it
which mean longer drawn out pain
more drinking
more drinking
no growth
more drinking
you're on the think - pain - grow path
it's not a path without thorns, huh
but it's the right path
you'll get back to relatioships soon enough when you're ready
look at your last post...you're doing some honest self evaluation
that made me think hard enough to be inspired to respond
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
(((((ananda)))))
Don't despair nands, a break in trust doesn't always mean the end. In a relationship you can never go backwards, never go back to how it used to be, but sometimes it is possible to forge ahead with a newly defined friendship.
I left my husband years ago, he was devastated. He and I still manage to be very good friends some days.
Don't despair nands, a break in trust doesn't always mean the end. In a relationship you can never go backwards, never go back to how it used to be, but sometimes it is possible to forge ahead with a newly defined friendship.
I left my husband years ago, he was devastated. He and I still manage to be very good friends some days.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I'll toss in a hug for you as well nanda. That's why I've avoided any relationships outside of family for the last 2 years, I'm frightened that if they end badly (do they ever end well?) I'll want to drink and that's not an option for me. My life journey including my sobriety journey is one best done alone.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I can't believe the Pens won last night. I was so tired I fell asleep after the first period. I woke up with about three minutes to go in the game.
I'm putting my money on Detroit, though, although I'd like to see the Pens win.
I'm putting my money on Detroit, though, although I'd like to see the Pens win.
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