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Hi Viv, I recently took up photography too. I haven't done much lately cos I can't just keep taking pics of the cat, i need to go somewhere interesting. :) |
I love photography now that I'm clean and sober. I see things in a wonder clear light, and things I would have never noticed are now in some of my favorite photos. There is a photography thread in the Cafe. Its a great place to share your favorite photographs. You can find it here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-new-post.html |
There is this too. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-between.html I know you have already seen it but.....LOL |
Originally Posted by vividserenity
(Post 2204504)
I know that I am probably borderline hypochondriac with some anxiety mixed in... |
Nope she didnt...thats just my guess. Obviously I have anxiety attacks thats a no brainer but as far as an official diagnosis, no. |
Not fantastic today by any means...but I could be much worse I suppose. I did clean up some...dishes, laundry the usual suspects... I read some in my book...doing the therapy homework... Had strange pains today above my left hip...stabbing....painful....but intermittent...if I get them again tomorrow I will go to the doc. That would make day 3. I am seriously so tired of be tired and not feeling well. I can honestly say it is probably THE most depressing thing in my life right now. If I felt physically 100% I am sure my outlook would be so different. I would have the energy to actually do things, get out more...work out....BAHHHH! Freak it anyhow! :whoop I still love the book I am reading...its like having mini epiphany's everyday..... I think tomorrow will be better with huzzy and I...the first day he is sober there is always an adjustment period. YEAH for the next 6 days! |
SO...... Things are much better now...especially compared to the last entry! I am sleeping regular YEAH! Which is one of my goals, which means I am gonna move onto another one. Yesterday wasnt fab, had some anxiety but overall I would give it a B-. I had a counseling session which I spent crying. My counselor really is great I have to admit. Every week one of the things that she always reminds me to do is to be proud for what I have done to change my life. It usually makes me feel better. Yesterday we talked and I realized that I really would like to be further along than I am in my goals. I do get frustrated. I am not the most patient person in the world. I want things changed NOW not later. My counselor really hasnt had much if any experience with addiction I dont think. She asked me if what I am experiencing is normal. Honestly, from what I have read, I could feel this way for a year and it may be considered normal. I hope thats not true..... During the session I realized to that I need more support. So I am gonna see if I cant find a sponsor on here. May sound strange but.... I am gonna give it a try. Man o man I dont really like being vulnerable. Huzzy and I are really good right now. Have had tiffs but they are short lived and we are closer than we have been in years. I am so grateful for that. Hmm Things I am grateful for today..... My huzzy and our relationship Book Im reading My family Dad, Sis, Mother in Law Time alone The four kitties Morning naps My health Peeps here at SR Yummy cookies Restful Sleep :c032: |
K So the sponsor thing didnt really work out...maybe thats not what I was really looking for?...I dont know. BUT I do know that I need to make a schedule so...here it goes... Things that I want to do every week..... Meditate Yoga Exercise Photo Homework - practice Expressive/Creative ventures - Photography, Writing, Playing guitar, Drawing, Singing Alone time - preferable a full day Do something new Read something about recovery There are others goals that I want to pursue but these things I believe will be the foundation. Daily- Meditate, Yoga, Read something about recovery 3x a week- Exercise, Expressive/C , Photo Homework Once a week - Time alone, Do something new Sunday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Expressive Monday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Exercise, Time Alone Tuesday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Expressive, PH Wednesday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Exercise Thursday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Expressive, PH Friday Meditate, Yoga, Read, Do something new Saturday Meditate, Yoga, Read, PH Thats the schedule for now. I am going to commit to myself that I will follow this schedule NO MATTER WHAT for at least two weeks. I am starting tomorrow which will be the 3rd of May. Wish me luck! |
Originally Posted by Phaleron
(Post 2215125)
That's a great list, VS! I KNOW you'll stick with it-CAT is watching like a hawk! ;) |
Yeah! Doing all the things I had planned on doing actually sparked me to get to some things I needed to do but had been putting off. Things went well today with plan. Instead of Yoga I just did alot of stretching because the routine I had originally wanted to do isnt seeming so great now. I will have to find another. I did some reading and half a homework assignment for SMART. It was interesting to realize those things that I value that I dont really give energy to. I did write a poem of sorts, it doesn't rhyme or anything....thinking about posting it...we'll see. I did my breathing meditation today AND made a relaxation mix with my meditation music and guided CDs. I am excited to use it. Sometimes right after a relaxing part of meditation they start talking again really loud and scare the whoo haa right out of ya! So I fixed that, put in some relaxing peaceful music. Need some time alone soon. Huzzy and I are ok but I really feel like I need to reconnect with myself...hard to do that with others around sometimes. Overall, a good day. Im excited about following through with my plans. YEAH! |
So .... To update...I have met my goals...both yesterday and today! Yeah! I went for a walk yesterday and today and I also played guitar for a bit... I received a copy of the Lifering workbook which seem interesting so far. Thats it for the update...more tomorrow! :ghug |
Great job on meeting your goals vividserenity. I didn't make any goals today, but natural disasters can do that to you. FYI, I'm fine but still on evac warning. All packed and ready to go (even have my laptop put away in case we have to go to a hotel). |
Originally Posted by Alera
(Post 2219115)
Great job on meeting your goals vividserenity. I didn't make any goals today, but natural disasters can do that to you. FYI, I'm fine but still on evac warning. All packed and ready to go (even have my laptop put away in case we have to go to a hotel). |
Originally Posted by californiapoppy
(Post 2219355)
We don't always get the world new here, what's going on in Southern CA? Are there still fires, Santa Ana winds? I know my father is getting too much rain in Oregon....whatever it is , I hope you're well and stay that way ! Thanks for the thoughts. Its another fire here. |
HUGE :ghug3 Alera |
So I had a counseling session today... It went well I think...brought some stuff up and realized that I have been thinking some pretty interesting things these past few years. Basically, there is some part of me that will not accept that my huzzy loves me. Doesnt matter what he does or what he says, my "rational" lol mind will come up with other reasons why he does the things he does. Example of "rational" thought He stays with me because he is afraid of being alone, and that any woman would do, that its nothing special about me that makes him stay and do the things that he does. I have felt this way not just with my huzzy but with others also. I really for the most part dont think that I have a bad self esteem. Anyway we started this whole conversation five minutes before the session was up after I casually mentioned the above and my counselor sat there mouth open almost looking like she was gonna cry. I of course said it all matter of factly. Shrug guess thats partly how I deal with it. So I didnt exercise or stretch today...but I will meditate and I did do a worksheet on recovery. It kind of bumms me out that I laxed today. :sad: Since I am blah...to try and improve the mood..... Today I am grateful for.... Losing 13 lbs since I stopped drinking That I went to my session even though I didnt want to at first My huzzy....bless him he had a bad day...hug hug My new Hammock Stand that should be on its way here! A company that I found to restore some VHS tapes of my moms! I am so excited! A warm house to sleep in Cookies to eat Kitties to pet and love SR and the peeps that inhabit this land lol All the options that I have Music With that... I am off.... :ghug |
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