Blogs


Notices

how to respect your self?

Old 03-15-2009, 03:17 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
haha yes i sent you a hug!!!!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:21 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
rachel, ty so very much!!!! it was just what i needed to hear!! you are so very informed!!! ty for sharing w/us! you need to be a couselor, you would be excellent at it!
love and peace in sobriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:23 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
mari, ty and yes i agree, but i think i mainly take things out on myself, am done w/relationship, cept w/my cat!!!!

love in sobriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:25 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
alera, ty vm for the link~~~~ it looks very helpful!

btw can anyone tell me how to post, all these replies on one posts? lol

love in sobriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:28 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
Smile dk

ty you have been so helpful to me and i see ALOT of self-esteem and self-confindence in you! you are so good at helping others!

love in sobriety!

jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:28 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Never settle.
 
gneiss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Under immense pressure
Posts: 1,505
Originally Posted by SelfSeeking View Post
Problem solved, let's all get pregnant/impregnate someone!

lol... j/k... That is really sweet Kids are so awesome, when they love you it's like, aw, how bad could I be?


Saw a friend the other day I have not seen in almost a year. She has a 4-year-old son. Of course she and her hubby do lots of pretend stuff with him, but some of the games are spilling over into everyday life, and he's getting some of the games and church lessons mixed up. She was in town with kiddo the other day and he announced to everyone he saw for about 30 minutes "Daddy's a monster!! Jesus doesn't love him!!"

My parents let me down in the guidance department. One thing I heard pretty much every day, whenever I would express a difference of opinion with my mom, was "You just think you're smarter than me. You don't know what you are talking about." I am working on a masters' in a technical field. I hear my friends tell me and other people all the time how intelligent I am. People routinely seek me out for help on homework or tutoring in classes. Guess what? I feel like a moron. I never speak up because I always feel like I'll be wrong. Mostly I have the right answers, but I never feel like I'm right. And now I know I'm smarter than my mom. But I guess knowing it and feeling it are two different things. I have become pretty adept at pretending I have self-confidence though, on the occasion I need it. At home, with a special needs sister, I was expected to not have any problems. I was always second place to my sister, her needs always came first, and any problems I had were subject to what she wanted or her current temper tantrum. So when I had a problem I just figured it out on my own, I can't take anyone's advice to this day and it kills me to ask for help on anything.
gneiss is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:29 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
gerryp, ty you know where i am coming from! yes i can and will overcome this, sometimes it is just so hard! ty for the support!

love in sobriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 03:55 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
yea ty for the response and good input! you alwasy have good advice!!!ty
love in sogriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 04:04 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
gneiss CONGRATS on your masters and your education!!! be proud of yourself hon! you have accompulsed so much!!!!!! let the negative voices in your head be replaced by positive ones, k? you are very intelligent!!!!

my mother, (dad was always working the farm?) never disaplined me in front of people, then when i got home, i got the living [email protected] beat out of me for not minding? not minding what, there were no rules when we were in public, i never knew what i did wrong, never did anything right, according to mother. my brother, on the other hand was perfect??
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 04:28 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
☯ ⓌⒾⓁⓁ☯
 
Zencat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 8,243
Blog Entries: 12
Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
am figuring out the main thing is i just do not like myself, NEVER did!

all comes down to the fact that my mother did not like/love me?

and have always had an ugly face? geez i need to get out of this mode?

sorry, such a depressing post!
love, peace and soberiety to all

:ghug:ghug
It took me a long time to get to the point that...yea I'm not that bad. Sure there mean people that will come around and try to tear me down. It happens here...but I have to remember there are sick and suffering people in recovery like myself. Maybe they are projecting their own fears of inadequacy on me. Who knows...its not my job to tell others what to do or how to live much less how to be respectful. Then again I have kicked around for so long I don't know what is right or wrong. Ahaaa well that's life.
Zencat is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 05:23 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
ty zen...you always have good advice for everyone! i need to remember to be grateful, for the things i have done right! i have raised 3 good kids (non-addicted kids) that are normal and do srill love me? i have 7 grandkids, that all call me grama cracker, long story?

my kids are 42, 38, 37? so you know i am old and should of learned alot of this by now, but geeez, it is hard for me?

love in sobriety!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:04 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
☯ ⓌⒾⓁⓁ☯
 
Zencat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 8,243
Blog Entries: 12
Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
ty zen...you always have good advice for everyone!
Thank you kindly Jo. My battered self-worth could use some kind words today. I have to be reminded daily that I don't have the answers to anybody's issues but my own. Sure there are those that all to willing to tell me where to go. Yet it is an easy cop-out to boss other people around when the real work is on oneself.

It is a pleasure to have you around the sometimes troubled Secular Connections...LOL. Remember you are a valuable asset to my recovery too.:ghug3
Zencat is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:19 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
☯ ⓌⒾⓁⓁ☯
 
Zencat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 8,243
Blog Entries: 12
Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
my kids are 42, 38, 37? so you know i am old and should of learned alot of this by now, but geeez, it is hard for me?

love in sobriety!
Ah...don't should all over yourself...you could have learned a lot...there is no time limit on learning. To re-frame it..."you know i am old and should of learned alot of this by now,"...to: "I am wiser now and those things I could have learned before have more impact on my learning now."

I admit I'm willing to grow except my growth comes at a price...making mistakes...not a bad deal really
Zencat is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:24 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
zen thanks! you are truly sweet and loving!
and YOU are a wonderful person to be helping me so much!

much grass!

love in sobreity!
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:44 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
the girl can't help it
 
splendra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,588
Blog Entries: 3
I have had a lot of challenges in learning to respect myself and getting in touch with some pretty painful feelings. I still catch myself muttering offensive remarks when I pass a mirror.

I am much better than I used to be though. I treat myself well I eat right, I go for those free facials at the mall, take a warm bath with some fragrant oils that I like ect....

Over the years I have learned that if I can't be kind to myself then I might not be kind to others so I treat myself kindly so I can pass it own.
splendra is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 06:44 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
it's a movie, you're the star
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
i'm glad i could help! stay strong & positive!
123bubblegum123 is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 08:23 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
zen you are a beautiful person to me! you have been very helpful! you deserve many kudos!!!!!!

your words of wisdom help me!!!!!!!

more than you know?

love jow
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 08:25 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
yes ty so much bubblegum! you are a special, sweet young lady, and i am so glad you are making the right choices! ty for your positive thoughts!

love jow
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-15-2009, 08:31 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
trying to get it right
Thread Starter
 
jowinbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
Blog Entries: 2
Smile spendl (sp?)

hey ty for the good advice! you are so right, but i do not always do the right thing, thinking i am deserving, lol

i raised 3 kids by myself, money was always tight.....now i find it so hard to spend $ on me and be nice to me? but i knw i have to do this for me!!

ty much!

6
jowinbo is offline  
Old 03-16-2009, 09:54 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Member
 
KindBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
This topic brings tears to my eyes.. Reading through the posts brings more tears - sounds like lots of respect building happened right here! Thanks for the tread.

I feel like I have been climbing up the ladder of self love and self respect for about 40 years (since my teens).. For a few years in my 20's I used to write the affirmation "I am worthy" for pages in my journal.. Somehow I came into adulthood feeling like I was in the back of the line to nowhere.

You sound like a wonderful and loving person. Way to go with your kids, your sobriety and your big hearted honesty. You are worthy, and wonderful and no doubt beautiful!
:ghug3
KindBird is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:19 PM.