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So now the therapist says I am to go to five AA meetings a week?

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So now the therapist says I am to go to five AA meetings a week?

Old 03-13-2009, 08:03 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Well, I"m glad you got your refund and hopefully you will find a place that isn't 12 step. I hated to see this thread turn into the dreaded 12 step treatment place that lied to you and deceived you. You knew fully well, when entering, it was 12 step program. However, your friend did your bidding for you. I would suggest you take care of things for yourself from here on out. The wheeling and deal into not attending the meetings made no sense and was counterproductive. What would that leave you with?

I hope you don't waste any time finding another place, but I don't feel very optimistic at this point. I was feeling hopeful for you, Katie, but now I feel as if you have manipulated yourself out of getting help and have bought yourself more time to waste drinking. I'm sorry to say, this is very disappointing to read. I think you have made a big mistake, but then again, this is your recovery, not mine. On the other hand, I'm reminded of how conniving alcoholism really is. You seem so triumphant from getting out of rehab. I find it sad to think that you have just derailed an attempt at getting sober.
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Old 03-13-2009, 08:08 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by zencat View Post
:ghug3 Good to hear...you do deserve a treatment that is a best fit for you.
Thanks. I am sitting here just wondering if there is such a thing - thinking that treatment is a racket after this experience. I have felt so trapped here not knowing where anything is, not being able to drive my car, etc.

I am feeling very apprehensive of all rehabs right now. No, rehab is never pleasant, and I will make sure to get everything in writing via email going forward after this experience. I would recommend this to anyone.
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Old 03-13-2009, 08:14 PM
  # 63 (permalink)  
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Katie, how much time are you looking to spend in treatment?
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Old 03-13-2009, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
Katie, how much time are you looking to spend in treatment?
I have no idea. I have to figure something out. After this experience and almost being ready to go to the psych ward last night, I am really wondering. At least I now know all the questions to ask in advance. I think what I REALLY need is some support system there in AZ and I don't really have one. Technically, there are five SMART meetings a week there. However, the last time I went to rehab was ridiculous as well and I left early (and two of the SMART meetings are there) but at least it wasn't 12 step based. Maybe I'll just be one of those people who quits on her own. It would be a helluva lot cheaper than this, I tell ya. My neighbor across the street does this 10 day OP program where he supposedly balances one's neurotransmitters - didn't know this until the day before we left for here. I'm almost of the opinion if one goes out of state it's better to just fly there in advance and check things out. This place misrepresented a lot. All this for nothing. I don't know how much money I am getting back, but I'll take it and run and can always deal with the rest once I get back home. Or maybe if I get a decent night's sleep I'll just fight for it here. Probably better that way. Anyway, I am tired from these days here and just want to get home.
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Old 03-13-2009, 08:47 PM
  # 65 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LosingmyMisery View Post
Well, I"m glad you got your refund and hopefully you will find a place that isn't 12 step. I hated to see this thread turn into the dreaded 12 step treatment place that lied to you and deceived you. You knew fully well, when entering, it was 12 step program. However, your friend did your bidding for you. I would suggest you take care of things for yourself from here on out. The wheeling and deal into not attending the meetings made no sense and was counterproductive. What would that leave you with?

I hope you don't waste any time finding another place, but I don't feel very optimistic at this point. I was feeling hopeful for you, Katie, but now I feel as if you have manipulated yourself out of getting help and have bought yourself more time to waste drinking. I'm sorry to say, this is very disappointing to read. I think you have made a big mistake, but then again, this is your recovery, not mine. On the other hand, I'm reminded of how conniving alcoholism really is. You seem so triumphant from getting out of rehab. I find it sad to think that you have just derailed an attempt at getting sober.
Thanks for your sentiments, however they completely misrepresented themselves. There is NO WAY I'd go into a rehab based on the 12 steps - absolutely no way. (In fact, that was the first question out of my mouth when investigating places.) They said they had other groups I could go to other than AA - guess what they are - NA, CA, OA - all 12 step. Then they threw some schedule together for me that included standard support groups here in this community, which does me zero good once I leave, massage therapy and nutrition - like I care about massage therapy or nutrition. No, I will only go to a place that is NON 12 step. I need to learn tools re: how to stay sober that don't involve the 12 steps.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:09 PM
  # 66 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
There is NO WAY I'd go into a rehab based on the 12 steps - absolutely no way. (In fact, that was the first question out of my mouth when investigating places.) They said they had other groups I could go to other than AA - guess what they are - NA, CA, OA - all 12 step. Then they threw some schedule together for me that included standard support groups here in this community, which does me zero good once I leave, massage therapy and nutrition - like I care about massage therapy or nutrition. No, I will only go to a place that is NON 12 step. I need to learn tools re: how to stay sober that don't involve the 12 steps.
I don't see this as derailing you recovery. I see this as getting out of a situation where you were gonna have the 12 Step religion forced on you day in and day out for a huge sum of money. I do hope you continue with your sobriety and figure out what you need to do to stay on track for the long haul. Any place you go for treatment, unless it is in your hometown, you will bond with people in your group and then be on your own when you leave. There are several of us here that use SR as our main support system and see therapists one on one for counseling. Some because they like it that way and some (like myself) because we have little f2f options. It can be done though.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
I don't see this as derailing you recovery. I see this as getting out of a situation where you were gonna have the 12 Step religion forced on you day in and day out for a huge sum of money. I do hope you continue with your sobriety and figure out what you need to do to stay on track for the long haul. Any place you go for treatment, unless it is in your hometown, you will bond with people in your group and then be on your own when you leave. There are several of us here that use SR as our main support system and see therapists one on one for counseling. Some because they like it that way and some (like myself) because we have little f2f options. It can be done though.
Thanks doorknob. I confess all this has pretty much made me very tired. I need to clean this place up, but just don't have the energy. I think if I get up at 7 tomorrow it will be ok. I never unpacked (hmmm) and so it was very easy to get things together. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed. My cat isn't happy here and I'm not happy when he wakes me up several times a night due to this small place.

I do agree that any place out of state will present the problem you mention. I guess I'll just get by with the SMART meetings, SR, my therapist, and maybe a new psychiatrist - maybe not. I'm starting to think I really need help with the driving phobia, as it's limited my life so much. I need to get out of Phoenix, but even the thought of being able to investigate a new city is more than I can handle, due to the driving thing.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:56 PM
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Originally Posted by NOMOMERLOTMAMMA View Post
Call me crazy, but why don't you accept that this is where you are at, and try to reap some benefit from being in a rehab center? Aren't you better then you were "at home"? Why don't you have an OPEN MIND and see if there might be something (other than the AA meetings) that you can gain out of being there that might help you with your addiction? You are spending a lot of energy fighting this situation tooth and nail, and I respectfully say that possibly that energy could be used in a more productive way. I mean, it doesn't sound like you will be getting your money back..why not see if you can find something positive out of this? I believe it's called "willingness"

Karen
And I believe it's called $13K for a giant AA deal, which I can get for $1 two miles from my house. You should see the schedule they came up with - 9 more therapy sessions, a couple (maybe) more shrink visits, a few groups, a few support groups, 5 day a week "meditations" that are nothing more than reading one page of a Hazelden book and giving one's opinion. $13K. I don't think so. I can do the math. At home 9 therapy visits cost me $135. Two shrink visits are $30. Support groups are free. BTW, I think I'll be getting most of it back. I expect to pay no more than $2000 for sitting in a small apt for 3.5 days. These days have been worthless. What a deal.
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Old 03-13-2009, 09:57 PM
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Originally Posted by jowinbo View Post
please be kind to yourself and do the right thing? how are your animals doing? my thoughts and prayers are with you!
Thanks so much, jowinbo. Animals are fine, but cat is keeping me awake all night, which is driving me crazy. Thanks for your warm wishes.
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Old 03-13-2009, 10:38 PM
  # 70 (permalink)  
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Old 03-13-2009, 10:42 PM
  # 71 (permalink)  
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Old 03-13-2009, 10:58 PM
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Man O Man katie, just when i thought it couldn't get worse.

Your friend who is driving you back...is the same friend who flew in to help you and drank with you for a week. So what's the plan for when he drops you home. how long is he staying with you this time?
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Old 03-13-2009, 11:50 PM
  # 73 (permalink)  
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I do fully believe that there is a hustle that goes on with rehabs and it absolutely disgusts me. I read part of that book (the first chapter that you can download for free) Alcoholism and the Addiction Cure which made me want to puke since it was one long advertisement for their treatment center. Ew, who would like to have the job of salesman for a rehab? Gross. It really is unfortunate. And then there is the flip that Chiyinita is dealing with and that is the issue of the cheap ass insurance companies. The whole thing is quite the debacle. But a question— is there any independent board or entity that reviews rehabs?? If not there needs to be or maybe we should start a Yelp like version of our own.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:27 AM
  # 74 (permalink)  
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Be very careful once you leave that place. Even though it's Easter Bunny "spiritualism" is goofy it is a safety zone where you can't get your hands on dope. You need to stay focused on staying cleaned up and doing things that'll keep you clean.

The early days are very difficult.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by windysan View Post
Be very careful once you leave that place. Even though it's Easter Bunny "spiritualism" is goofy it is a safety zone where you can't get your hands on dope. You need to stay focused on staying cleaned up and doing things that'll keep you clean.

The early days are very difficult.
True, true, but the stress this place caused me almost sent me to the ER or Psych ward. The early days are very difficult but I have a week now so I am out of the danger zone as far as detoxing goes. Plus, my medication really won't work as long as I drink. If this place taught me anything, it is to really be careful when picking a rehab. In fact, after this, I'd fly to the rehab first (what is $500 when talking about thousands?) just to check things out before taking the jump.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:35 AM
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Katie are you going to go back to drinking or not?
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:46 AM
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Thanks for the link. Looks pretty good. The only thing that makes me quite nervous is that they have 12 step meetings onsite. I don't want anything to do with the 12 steps, and especially after this experience.

There was another rehab but I forget what it's called in Malibu. The psychiatrist is an atheist and they are not 12 step at all. Yunno, when I told her about this place she told me this place was a 12 step model. Of course, who to believe, someone who wants me to come to her VERY expensive facility or this facility who at the time told me they had alternative groups to the 12 steps available (I thought that meant like alternative groups onsite). I didn't realize they'd have to scramble to put together some hokey schedule to include things like massage therapy and nutrition and general support groups in the community. Additionally, there was not one SOS, SMART or LifeRing groups in the area, so I don't know how I was to specifically address my addiction.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by gerryP View Post
Man O Man katie, just when i thought it couldn't get worse.

Your friend who is driving you back...is the same friend who flew in to help you and drank with you for a week. So what's the plan for when he drops you home. how long is he staying with you this time?
Yes and no longer than two days. If he changes his mind and wants to stay longer I'll just tell him I need the space to regroup. I don't have to drink with him. In fact, I will ask that he NOT drink as I just came out of here and don't want to start the cycle again. He will understand that, as he was the one who said the cycle had to be broken.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by yeahgr8 View Post
Katie are you going to go back to drinking or not?
No, but I do have to find a way of dealing with things there. One of my problems is that the only thing I like about Phoenix is my house. I pretty much hate everything else. There is nothing to do, which makes it pretty easy to isolate and with isolation comes drinking. Of course, to get out of Phoenix means I have to drive in an unknown town, and I am incapable of even driving myself back to Phoenix and I do know SoCal as I lived here a long time ago. IOW, I need to address my driving phobia or I am going to be trapped there forever and then the odds are very likely I will not be able to achieve abstinence.

I met a guy in AA down there with 11 years of sobriety at the time. He'd moved from the Bay Area recently, and that is where I moved from. Anyhoo, even he told me his sobriety would be in jeopardy were he to remain in Phoenix. He lasted there two months and went back to the Bay Area.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:59 AM
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Well, I want to thank you all for your replies. It's going to be a long drive back - maybe 8 or 9 hours with 3 pets. See ya on the other side!
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